


it'll tear you down, bit by bit

by butteredsc0tch



Series: omegaverse au [1]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Affair era, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Discussion of Abortion, F/M, Fertility Issues, I am going to hell for this, Infidelity, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mentions of miscarriage, Mpreg, Non-Linear Narrative, Omega Verse, Previous Canon Character Death, because lbr it was the best era, but idc, but tbh when isn't he, lots of stuff for the plot, mentions of stillbirth, rebecca white free zone, robert is a bit not good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-11-18 22:12:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 59,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11299875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butteredsc0tch/pseuds/butteredsc0tch
Summary: He’d started to feel nauseous, nothing extreme but just a little queasy in the morning when he’d wake up and again just before he’d go to bed. And if he’d felt tired, well he’d been working hard – add in the strain between him and Chrissie and it’d been no surprise he’d felt more exhausted than normal.But then one day he’d sat down to rest his eyes for 5 minutes at his desk, and woke up 2 hours later to Chrissie shaking his shoulder, peering down at him with worried eyes. The fact that he’d then slept for 10 hours that night and,stillneeded another nap the following day, didn’t go unnoticed by him either.So he’d bought a test, and had locked himself away in the en-suite where he'd known he wouldn’t be disturbed.Omegaverse AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In all honesty I never, ever planned for this to see the light of day. I started writing it back in December after I read [this series](http://archiveofourown.org/series/467383) by electrumqueen and the idea got firmly stuck in my head. Sometimes I like to write stuff just for the hell of it because ideas won't leave me alone, this was supposed to be one of those and once it was done I could just be satisfied I'd finished it and move on; but then the ridiculous ONS storyline happened and I thought 'fuck it, if the show is gonna put out a dumb, illogical, suspend-all-reality, affair baby story for Robron, then why the hell shouldn't I put out my dumb, illogical, suspend-all-reality, affair baby story too', and so here we are!
> 
> Over 2 thirds of this fic was written before said ridiculous ONS storyline started and so there is a lot of ironic shit in here. I did briefly entertain the idea of going back and changing stuff, but decided not too because well, I enjoy irony. (And the predictability of the current storyline makes my eyes roll so hard they almost fall out of their sockets, so the ironic bits make me chuckle ...while slightly crying inside.)
> 
> Warnings I think I maybe should expand on a little: there are mentions of abortion and discussion around stillbirth, scenes which involve (potentially semi-graphic? YMMV) themes and mentions of miscarriage, discussions regarding infertility and treatments for it, and canon based violence involving a pregnant person. (I think this is everything covered but should you think anything else needs to be mentioned, please let me know.)
> 
> This fic plays fast and loose with canon (disregarding the _very obvious_ deviation) but follows the general major plot points of the affair arc, if at a slower pace - although I skipped out on the overly plotty 'potato rock of death' and 'murder grain' mini plots because cba with those messes. While this is set in the omegaverse, there are none of the really 'dubious' characteristics found in that particular sandbox in this. Basic canons for my version of this AU are that m/omegas can carry children but can't sire them, opposite applies for f/alphas. 
> 
> And lastly, before I shut up and get on with this, Rebecca White does not feature in this whatsoever. \o/ I haven't, and never will buy, this stupid retcon that's been thrown in with Robert's relationships with Chrissie and Rebecca. And quite frankly I also cba with dealing with the poorly inserted 'backstory'/'history' the storyliners have tried to shove into the pre-canon, to write it into this fic. So it, and she, doesn't exist. (This fic has enough plot devices, it didn't need another one.)
> 
> Anyway that's all I have to say, I hope someone enjoys this. I actually can't believe I'm actually posting but whatevs *hides*, thank you for checking it out and hopefully this isn't _too_ weird. :)

There’s a pink happy face.

A grinning, overly joyful, happy pink face staring back at him. It’s smile is the shade of bubblegum, sickly sweet and artificial. _Happy_ , that’s what he’s supposed to be; ridiculously, euphorically, ecstatic at the prospect of a new life. 

But instead of those expected feelings, all he feels is terror. Pure stomach wrenching, sweaty palms, racing, heart stopping, _terror_. It’s a feeling which he can sum up perfectly in just one single word.

“ _Fuck_.”

*****

It’d been Chrissie’s idea.

Robert had been sat at the kitchen island, bowl of cereal in front of him on the counter top when Chrissie had mentioned it, leaning against the cupboards opposite with a cup of coffee clutched in her hands.

“I mean it’s only logical, isn’t it?” She’d said, the diamond on her finger catching the bright of the overhead lights as she’d adjusted her grip on her mug. “The next step? Proof of how much we love each other?”

Robert had nodded and swallowed down his mouthful of cereal, brief thoughts flickering through the back of his head about how this would be it, the perfect way to finally assert himself fully in Chrissie’s life once and for all. 

“It’s not a bad idea,” he’d said after a moment, reaching for the decanter of orange juice and pouring a glass. Chrissie had grinned and pushed away from the cupboards, turning to place her mug in the sink. She’d kissed his cheek, the soft brush of her hair catching his shoulder, as she walked from the room, promises that they’d talk later on her lips as she headed off for a meeting.

In the end, they hadn’t talked about it – at least not properly – until 5 days later, when Chrissie found Robert in the bathroom with pack of suppressants in hand as he’d got ready for bed. 

“I thought you were going to stop taking those?” She’d queried, brow furrow and lips ever so slightly pouted. Robert had turned, half empty foil packet in hand, and shrugged.

“Well, you never mentioned it again. Wasn’t sure if you’d changed your mind.”

“I haven’t. There’s nothing I’d want more with you.” She’d smiled, before sobering a little when she studied Robert’s face more, her blue eyes flickering back and forth. “Unless it’s something you’re not sure of?”

Robert had quickly shaken his head, forcing down the niggle of doubt that had attempted to make itself known at Chrissie’s words, and had thought about the security it would give him; a biological tie to Chrissie, something that would keep her happy and willing to stay with him, a way to fully assert himself into her family and make Lawrence finally take him seriously. If by extension, the metaphorical devil on his shoulder had whispered, it also tied him to the White’s money and business too, it could only be seen really as an additional bonus. 

“No, course not.” He’d smiled back at her reassuringly, relaxing his grip on the packet in his hand. “It’s something I want too.”

“Good.” Chrissie had replied softly, before stepping closer and plucking the packet from Robert fingers. She studied them carefully and glanced up at Robert coyly from under her lashes. 

“I guess that means you don’t need these anymore,” she’d said and Robert had watched as she pressed out the remaining suppressants and flushed them away. She’d turned then, once they were gone, reaching for him, and he had kissed her back when she’d pressed in close, whispers of this being the start of their future on her lips.

He’d let her then steer them both back into the bedroom, his hands working on the silk folds of her dressing gown, and had hummed agreeably when she pushed him down hard onto the bed.

*****

Aaron is ignoring him. Again.

He’d fucked up and he knows it. The mess with Donny, and then the break up and subsequent make up with Chrissie, had made him a shit – _whatever they are_ , but Aaron knows him. Knows his flaws and his faults, and he’d _apologised_ , something they both know he never does without real incentive.

Which makes the fact that Aaron is ignoring him feel 10 times worse. 

“Can we talk?” He says closing the portacabin door behind him, palm still clasped tight around the door handle. Aaron is silent, sat leaning over the desk as he thumbs through an invoice.

“Aaron?” 

Aaron sighs and turns a page, muttering under his breath. “What d’you want Robert?”

“I said can we talk?” He replies, finally letting go of the door and shifting awkwardly on the spot. Aaron still won’t look at him, his eyes still fixed on the pieces of yellow counterfoil in front of him.

“What about?”

Pink happy faces flash behind Robert’s eyes and he inhales sharply, immediately shoving the anxiety he can feel burning at his throat away. “Dunno, just, how are you?”

Aaron sits back and pushes away from the table, the swivel chair turning to face him; Aaron’s blue eyes meet his finally as he looks up with irritation steeling his jaw.

“Is this some kinda joke? What are you _really_ here for Robert? What do you want?”

Robert swallows, his brow raising as he looks at Aaron earnestly, for once having no agenda except only wanting Aaron to look at him with anything but disgust on his face. 

“Nothin’. I swear. I’m not after anything.”

Aaron’s frown deepens and he shakes his head, annoyance flashing in his eyes. He shifts in the chair and turns back to look over the invoices. 

“Well in that case do one, I’m not interested.”

Robert hesitates, mouth pursed as he holds back all the things he wants to say. The desperate want to just be able to just make things right between them, to spill all the confused and scared thoughts churning away inside his head about pink happy faces on white plastic and what it _means_ ; but instead he sighs resignedly and turns back to the door, his fingers wrapping around the handle once again as he closes it gently on his way out.

*****

They’d gone to a fertility clinic.

“It would be just to check everything out,” Chrissie had said one afternoon, placing her magazine down on the coffee table as she’d looked up at him from the sofa. “I mean not that 28 is very old, but it’s not exactly ideal. And I know you’re not on the suppressants anymore, but 13 years is a long time to be taking them without a break.”

Robert had steeled his jaw but agreed, and so Chrissie had booked them an appointment at a fancy clinic in Harrogate for the following day.

There’d been blood tests and urine tests, doctors and nurses prodding at his insides and outsides; ultrasound scans with black and grey blobs that'd meant absolutely nothing to him, but which the doctor stared at with rapt attention. 

He’d sat at the end of it all in a plush, wooden furniture filled office and twiddled his thumbs, counting all of the certificates and awards decorating the walls and shelves as he waited for the consultant to tell him his fate. 

“Well, everything looks like it’s in working order,” the consultant had said, flicking through the file of paperwork. “There’s no real sign of any issues, but with such prolonged suppressant usage it could take a little while for the drug to leave your system fully.”

“But is that a given?” He’d asked wanting to be clear, and the consultant had shaken her head. 

“No not necessarily. There are plenty of people who come off long-term suppression use and have no issues conceiving from the first heat.”

She’d moved on after that, and Robert had nodded along accordingly as she had drawled on and on through the in depth findings of his results, the whole time planning how to tell Chrissie that she’d been _wrong_ , that he was perfectly fine, without coming across like the arrogant prick he was.

He’d shaken the consultant’s hand as he stepped through the door and turned to meet Chrissie’s eyes – smug smile fighting to break out across his mouth – when he’d seen it. The upset in Chrissie’s face, and he’d paused.

Low count, she’d said. Her tests had come back with a low count. There were options: hormone injections, pills… there were things that could be done but it would take time. A lot of time. 

He’d held Chrissie that night, her face pressed against his throat as she clung to him. Her tears had stained the collar of his t-shirt and he’d run his fingers through her hair, trying to find the words to comfort her but failing spectacularly.

*****

4 days after the happy pink face had grinned up at him from the bathroom counter top, Robert spends half the morning curled around the toilet bowl of his and Chrissie’s en-suite.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call a doctor?” Chrissie asks soothingly, her fingers stroking through the hair at his nape as he lays his forehead on the edge of the seat. His blood runs cold at her words, and he shakes his head furiously.

“No! No, I’ll be fine. S’probably one of those 24 hour bugs.” He croaks out, throat raw and scraped like sandpaper. Chrissie hums disapprovingly but continues stroking the back of his neck, even as he lurches forward over the bowl once more. 

It lasts for 2 more days, the sickness, before he drives to the chemist first thing and buys up almost the entire section of anti-nausea tablets. 

After that he feels almost back to normal. Well as normal as he can feel given the circumstances.

He goes about his day, schmoozing clients, bickering with Lawrence and comforting Chrissie when she argues with Lachlan, all without even thinking about ‘it’. But at night when he lies in bed, Chrissie breathing steadily against his shoulder, the thoughts creep in. Fears. They creep inside and slowly consume him. If’s, buts, and _what the fuck am I going to do_ ’s?

By the morning’s he’s exhausted; emotionally drained and sleep deprived. 

Chrissie suggests breakfast at the café as she dresses, and Robert drives them down to the village, eyes bleary and sunken. She orders them both coffee and croissants, and Robert almost gags at the smell of frying sausages as Bob flips them about in the pan over the other side of the counter. He grabs a seat at a table as far away from the smell as possible, and buries his head in his hands until Chrissie sits down opposite him, passing him over a steaming mug.

“Maybe we should try to cut down on the pastries for breakfast,” she says casually, leaning back in her seat; however Robert sees her eyes drift down to his stomach, slightly more rounded than it used to be.

He swallows a large gulp of his almost too hot coffee and smiles back at her weakly with a small nod. The bell above the door tinkles softly and he glances down self-consciously at his midsection, playing anxiously with the handle of his mug as he notes the way his shirt buttons strain a little harder than before.

“Latte please Brenda,” Aaron’s grumpy voice says to his left, and Robert’s head jolts up instinctively. He watches Aaron from the corner of his eye as Chrissie begins to chatter away about her newest salon opening, willing Aaron to turn and look at him, to give him just the slightest hint of acknowledgment, but it never comes.

He perseveres though and watches Aaron’s back the whole way as he walks back to the door, his stomach sinking when Aaron grasps for the handle. He mentally sends one last plea, one last wish for Aaron to just _look at him_ , when Aaron pauses, adjusting his grip on his takeaway cup and looks up, eyes meeting Robert’s intuitively. 

He quirks a corner of his lips in a secret smile – something just for Aaron, just for _them_ – which he drops almost immediately when Aaron scowls and yanks at the handle with his free hand. 

The door closes behind him in not quite a slam.

*****

He makes a doctor’s appointment the day his jeans won’t button at the top.

He knows he can’t hide it much longer, can’t pretend that it isn’t happening like he has been for the past 17 days. Soon it will be obvious, to Chrissie, to Aaron, to _everyone_ , and he needs time to prepare.

The surgery waiting room is thankfully quiet and Dr Bailey calls him in only 5 minutes after his scheduled appointment time. He takes a seat in the padded chair opposite the desk and Dr Bailey asks him what he can do for him.

“Erm,” Robert coughs, shifting anxiously and flexing his fingers. “Well I think – I think I might be, y’know…” he says, nodding down towards where his belly protrudes slightly above his belt. 

Dr Bailey frowns confused for a second before his eyes widen in recognition and he nods. 

“Right, okay. And have you taken a test?”

He nods. “Yeah. It was – it was positive.”

Dr Bailey nods and writes down a couple of notes. He pushes himself to stand and gestures to the examination table.

“So if you just want to pop up on here I’ll give you a quick examination and then we’ll do a couple of blood and urine tests, just to be certain.”

He loosens his belt and lowers his zip as he slides up onto the table. Dr Bailey prods and pokes, his face not giving away anything. Afterwards he calls for a nurse and Robert sits up as Emma Barton comes in to take his blood. 

“This won’t take a minute,” she says, overly cheerful medical professional smile on her face, as she lays out the needles and adjusts the tourniquet on his arm. He winces a little as she carries out the test, and rubs at the spot when she pulls away after taping a cotton pad over the crook of his elbow.

Dr Bailey then points him in the direction of the men’s toilet and hands him a sample cup; he feels a faint blush creeping across his cheeks when he returns to hand Dr Bailey the cup, before heading back out into the waiting room as instructed and taking a seat in one of the few well worn chairs. 

He twiddles his thumbs while he waits, foot bouncing rhythmically against the floor as the clock on the wall ticks loudly. An elderly couple to his right talk aimlessly among themselves, and Robert finds himself clenching his teeth as their voices grate on what remains of his shredded nerves.

Eventually though Dr Bailey calls him back in as the hands tick over quarter past, and Robert exhales shakily as he stands to follow the doctor back into his room.

“Well as I thought, the urine test has come back as positive,” Dr Bailey says, taking his seat and clasping his hands in front of him as he leans on the desk. “It’ll take a couple of days for the blood result to come back, but I think it’s safe to say that you _are_ pregnant.”

Robert slumps back in his chair and zones out as Dr Bailey continues to talk: ultrasound scans, further blood tests, and follow up appointments, all important points that he fails to truly register through the fog of dismay he can feel slowly consuming him. He blinks slowly when Dr Bailey hands him several leaflets, and he stuffs them in his pocket without so much as a glance at their thick pages. 

Afterwards he sits in the car on the outskirts of the village, head pressed against the steering wheel, and a sickness deep in the pit of his stomach that for once, has nothing to do with the hormones surging under his skin.

*****

Robert didn’t like being an omega.

Omega’s were supposed to be soft, warm. Submissive and subservient. All things that he was most definitely not.

Sure there were advantages to being an omega – especially when it came to playing with the heartstrings of lonely old alphas like Lawrence, who would practically salivate over Robert’s charming smile and plush arse – but for the most part there were twice as many disadvantages when it came to his secondary gender.

He’d spent many years trying to prove himself in his late teens and early twenties after, well – _after_ ; and it’d been hard for a time, having to work twice as hard for half the recognition in what everyone said was an ‘alpha’s role’, but he’d done it eventually, risen to the top the way he’d always knew he would. 

And if the sneering alphas in the rest of the department had passed comment on Lawrence’s wondering eye and his budding ‘closeness’ with Chrissie after the Christmas party, well he'd had to make the most of every asset available to him. Biology had dealt him a seemingly dud hand when it came to business – but his charm and pretty smile, had left him with an ace up his sleeve to put them on an even playing field. 

Except after playing his ace, he'd then found himself back at square one in a whole new card game. Lawrence’s willingness to praise him, and obvious enjoyment of his company, had quickly soured at the discovery of his and Chrissie’s relationship. In a matter of days he'd gone from celebrated omega protégé, to gold-digging omega chancer, and Robert had found himself having to prove himself all over again just to meet the _expectations_ both Lawrence – and Chrissie – held when it came to an omega’s ‘behaviour’ in a serious relationship. The ruthlessness and dubious morals that had awarded him so many brownie points when it came to sealing deals, had not afforded him the same response when it came to dating Chrissie.

So he’d learnt to curb himself, tame the reckless side of himself that had always landed him in more trouble than not. He’d played the doting omega boyfriend, the dutiful omega fiancé, and eventually Lawrence’s scorn had withered down to begrudging acceptance, all because of the smile he worked hard to keep on Chrissie’s face. 

But he should have known that he could only ‘play good’ for so long, and well Aaron had made slipping up so worth the risk. A working class, scruffy mechanic with calluses on his hands, a wicked mouth, and no _expectations_ whatsoever. It’d been inevitable. 

The fact that Aaron could see through his bravado and bluster, could see him in a way nobody else did and still accepted him for who he was – the flawed, black sheep, omega son of a farmer – had pulled at a feeling deep inside of him that he didn’t care to examine in too much detail.

Sure Aaron called him on his bullshit, his scheming and manipulating ways, but not because it was ‘un-omega like’ and threatening to his alpha masculinity, but purely because he thought Robert could be _better_ , that he could _be_ good rather than just fake it.

And so he’d allowed himself Aaron despite all his self-held promises that he wouldn’t cheat once he was engaged; because as long as he could be himself with Aaron, he could be the omega Chrissie needed, and keeping Chrissie happy was, in the grand scheme of things, all that really mattered.

*****

He gets a letter 3 days later with an appointment for a dating scan.

He stuffs the letter as far into his trouser pocket as possible before Chrissie can turn from her place by the toaster, and forces a smile for her when she eventually does so, placing a plate down in front of him.

On the Thursday morning he drives to the clinic in Hotten, and contemplates turning straight back around as he stares through the windscreen at the double doors; but after 10 minutes of deliberation he sighs, defeated, and opens the car door resignedly. 

He registers with the receptionist at the counter and not 2 minutes later a midwife calls him down to a small room half way down the hallway. She gestures for him to get on the bed and he obliges, shuffling back awkwardly and trying not to crease the paper too much underneath him. 

“So your last heat was 12 weeks ago?” she says, glancing down at his notes on the clipboard in her lap. Robert nods and watches her tap away at the machine as he lies back on the bed.

“Yeah, roughly that anyway.”

The midwife nods and instructs him to lift his shirt. She tucks a strip of tissue across his hips into the waistband of his jeans and grabs the gel covered wand from its place beside the machine; his stomach jumps reflexively when she touches the wand against his skin.

“Sorry, it’s cold, I should have warned you,” she says with an apologetic smile, adjusting something on the monitor. Robert bites his lip and flashes a brief, half-hearted one in reply. 

“So is your alpha not with you today?”

Robert inhales deeply and shifts his legs anxiously on the bed. “No, she’s busy today. Got a work meeting she can’t miss.”

“Aw,” the midwife coos. “That’s a shame, I bet she’s excited though, probably won’t be able to get any work done!”

Robert plasters on a false smile and huffs a weak laugh as he tries his best to be polite. Silence then descends over the room for the next few minutes as the midwife passes the wand repeatedly over his lower abdomen, black and grey blobs swirling over the monitor that he can see just to his right. Eventually she pauses and hums pleased, holding the wand still just under his belly button.

“There you are, you were a tricky little one.” She murmurs to herself as she taps something on the screen to take a photo. She adjusts the monitor again next and turns back towards him, pointing her finger at a large, black blob with a smaller grey, bean shaped blob in the middle.

“That here,” she says, indicating to the small bean blob in a slow circle. “Is your baby.”

Robert blinks, holding himself still as he stares at the screen. He can feel his heart thumping hard in his chest, his pulse fluttering away at his jaw. He feels a little numb, a little shell shocked and unexpectedly stunned; despite _knowing_ in his head that there was a tiny human growing inside him, actually _seeing_ it is a whole different ball game entirely.

“I don’t think you conceived during your heat though.” The midwife continues, oblivious to his ongoing existential crisis as she begins to move the wand again. “The baby looks a little too small.”

He jerks his eyes away from the screen and back towards her, his palms sweating now profusely where they lay against his chest. “Wh – what does that mean?”

“Well.” She drawls, taking another screenshot and glancing over at him briefly. “Instead of being 12 weeks like we first thought, I’d say you were more 10 weeks. The foetus isn’t developed enough to be 12 weeks so you conceived _after_ your heat.”

“Is that possible? I mean I didn’t think that could happen.” He asks sharply, panic welling in the back of his throat. The midwife hums thoughtfully but nods her head to his despair. 

“It’s unlikely, especially given your prolonged suppressant usage, but it is possible. Conception outside of heat mainly happens in younger male omegas as fertility begins to drop after your mid 20’s, but there’s always exceptions to the rule.” She smiles, turning to look at Robert briefly. “Looks like you’ve got your own little miracle here.”

*****

He has to stop half way back to the village to throw up, his stomach churning with an anxiety that even the anti-nausea pills can’t stop.

He leans his head back against the headrest when he climbs back into the car, breathing heavily as he shuts his eyes tight.

There’s a photo burning a hole in his pocket. He wants to reach in and screw it up, tear it into a million pieces, but he can’t. He hadn’t wanted a scan picture, had wanted to say no when the midwife had asked, but he knew it would have looked strange and so he took the glossy picture with a forced smile.

He should get rid of it, both the photo and – and _it_ , should book another appointment and tell Dr Bailey that he wants it _gone_ before Chrissie suspects.

But Chrissie would know, would ask him all sorts of questions about the blood and the mess and – and…

He could say it was a miscarriage. That he hadn’t known until it was too late. But he can already see Chrissie’s devastated face behind his eyelids, and he knows that he couldn’t deal with Chrissie’s grief for a child she hadn’t even met. 

He feels a headache start to build against his temples and rubs a hand across his eyes, trying to push the pain away by force. His phone beeps quietly from his jeans pocket and he slides it out, thumbing across the lock screen until it lights up with a message.

_**From: Aaron --- Received: 13:51**  
Come by the yard need to talk to you_

He exhales shakily and he stares down at the screen, his eyes unblinking. 

Because then of course there was Aaron.

What the _fuck_ was he supposed to do about Aaron?

*****

When Aaron had turned to face him in that barn with a sneer on his face, he’d known he’d been in trouble.

He’d had male alphas before. It wasn’t something he’d indulged in often, his father’s disappointed face popping up behind his eyes whenever he’d thought about it too much, but he couldn’t deny that there was an attraction there, an itch that he just had to scratch every now and again.

And Aaron, well Aaron had him feeling like he was coming out in hives.

He hadn't really understood why to begin with, at first glance there really was little difference between Aaron and his dodgy mate Ross – both brunet with stubbled jaws, heavily gelled hair and dark clothes, brooding expressions – but the more time he'd spent around Aaron the more he realised that there was a difference. 

Aaron had morals, slightly dented ones, but he had them. He was fascinating in a way, a thief but a reluctant one, a bloke who could deck a man in anger and then spend the rest of the day wracked with guilt for it. The more time Robert had spent around him the more he had found himself wanting, both Aaron’s body and just simply Aaron as a person. 

He'd wanted to spend time with him. Even if Aaron never saw him in _that way_ he’d have taken Aaron’s begrudging friendship over nothing, which in itself was a novel thing. He’d never really had friends, at least not since he’d been a kid and that friend had been _Andy_. He’d had acquaintances, work colleagues who he could share a drink with, and a string of girlfriends and lovers who were all up for a good time, but never really a proper friend.

But in the end though, Aaron hadn't ended up being his friend either.

In all honesty he hadn't known why he’d pried, but after Chrissie’s pleased glow at Aaron fixing her car for free that morning, Robert had felt a squirm of jealousy in his belly all day that just wouldn’t abate. 

So when he’d seen Aaron propping up the bar he hadn’t been able to stop himself from niggling, testing and teasing to try and get a reaction. When he’d started questioning Aaron about his crush on Chrissie, he’d been unsure if the green-eyed monster he could feel stirring was because Aaron had been checking out his fiancée, or because Aaron hadn’t been checking _him_ out instead; but then Aaron had snorted at his insinuation and downed the remainder of his pint, and Robert had known.

“I’ll remember that for when I stop being gay,” Aaron had said, before stalking off without so much as a glance back. The fluttering anticipation in Robert’s stomach that he left behind though, had answered the question, and from that moment he’d known he was done for.

*****

“You took your time.” Aaron mutters when Robert walks through the door to the portacabin.

“I got held up,” he says quietly, his hair a dishevelled mess across his forehead as the photo still burns a hole in his pocket. “What did you need?”

Aaron pushes himself up from his seat and walks to the filing cabinet, pulling open the top draw and grabbing a folder.

“Need you to sign this off,” he says, passing the folder over to Robert and crossing his arms. Robert grabs a pen from Adam’s desk with clumsy fingers and quickly scans his eyes over the documents. He signs his name in the 2 marked boxes sloppily and tosses the pen back down. 

Aaron steps forward to take the folder when he holds it out, and turns back to file it away in the cabinet. “Right you can go now.”

Robert furrows his brow and shifts his stance aggrieved, hurt and irritation adding to his already wound up mood. “What that’s it? That’s all you’re gonna say?”

Aaron shrugs, pulling a face as he turns back to look at him. 

“Well you’ve signed the paperwork, ain’t got nothin’ else to say to ya.”

He shakes his head disbelievingly, scrubbing a hand through his already wrecked hair once more as he runs his eyes over Aaron, taking in his defiant shoulders and sharp jaw.

“Why do you keep being like this? Acting like we don’t have something going on here?”

“‘Cause we don’t,” Aaron says flatly, his tone so blasé that Robert feels his chest tighten unpleasantly. “We’re nothin’. _You’re_ nothin’.”

“Aaron – ” 

“Just shut up Robert.” Aaron snaps, Robert finally catching the first hint of emotion in his blue eyes; a flash of pain that jolts him down to his toes and makes him swallow hard. “Just shut up and get out of my life!”

*****

After what happened at Wylie’s, he had honestly thought he’d lost Aaron for good.

Not even just at the quarry – and the drop he’d felt in his heart when he’d thought Aaron had jumped was one he never wanted to feel again – but afterwards, when they’d stood in the back of the pub and Aaron had made clear that _whatever this was_ , it was over.

He’d gone back home then, back to Chrissie and kissed her hard like she’d wanted him to for days, and then he’d taken her to bed. Had pushed her down onto the mattress and smirked at her raised eyebrow, climbing on top to straddle her hips with his thighs.

Afterwards he’d rolled on his back and panted, sticky with sweat, come and slick between his legs. Chrissie had all but purred beside him, content and satisfied, and had turned on her side to graze her fingertips lightly against his chest.

“Not that I’m complaining,” she’d said, sated and curious as she’d gazed at him under hooded lids. “But what brought that on?”

He’d exhaled shakily and pushed down the hurt that had threatened to bubble back up inside of him, shoved away the thoughts of Aaron’s determined face and cold eyes as he’d told him they were over, done.

“Just thought you were right.” He’d answered, staring up at the ceiling as Chrissie had continued to stroke over his skin. “We haven’t had time for us with everything that’s happened. And you’ve put up with so much since the wedding, you’ve been amazin’ y’know?”

Chrissie had hummed and leant up on her elbow, and Robert had swallowed hard, forcing the flashes of broken floorboards and flat, empty eyes back into the recesses of his mind where they belonged. He’d turned his head then, when he was sure his face wouldn’t give away the horror he could still feel, to look at his wife. His _gorgeous_ , _loving_ new wife, and forced a smile.

“I love you,” he’d said, sliding his hand through the back of Chrissie’s hair and stroking at her nape. “You know that right?”

“Of course.” She’d grinned and had leant down to kiss him long and slow. 

She’d ran her hand down his stomach and between his thighs, and he’d moaned when she’d curled her fingers just right. If when he’d looked up into her soft blue eyes he’d imagined another pair, harder but just as bright, looking back at him as he’d come, well nobody else had to know.

*****

He closes the front door behind him when he gets back from the scrapyard, and Chrissie storms out of the kitchen with purpose.

“I think we need to talk,” she says, voice stern but unreadable and his stomach drops, an endless swirl of his many possible misgivings – the burglary, Katie, _Aaron_ – cycling through his head as he tentatively follows her back through to stand in the doorway.

“Look, it was a mistake alright – ” He starts nervously, settling on the most obvious. He breaks off when Chrissie holds up a hand and cuts him off abruptly.

“What are these?” She asks, dropping a pile of paper onto the counter top. He looks closer at the pile of papers, and feels his mouth dry up at the sight of the familiar pages.

“I can explain.”

“Good.” Chrissie replies, folding her arms across her chest. “Because I think you owe me an explanation.”

He shuffles on the spot, trying his hardest to find the words, to find a way to spin this to keep Chrissie happy; but instead he ends up falling back on old habits and immediately goes on the offensive.

“You went through my things.”

“I moved your jacket and they fell out!” She shouts, finally, gesturing toward the pile with a sweeping arm. “What is going on Robert? Why do you have these?!”

“Why d’you think?!” He snaps, jaw clenched tight as he wills Chrissie not to make him say it – he hopes to God she doesn’t make him say it.

Chrissie blinks then, her eyes immediately widening as the tension drops from her shoulders. He looks away from her softening gaze, unable to bear what will come next.

“Really? You mean you’re…” she trails off; voice little more than a whisper. Robert nods and he hears Chrissie gasp. 

“Oh my God, oh my _God, Robert_! This is amazing!”

He tries to stop from flinching as Chrissie launches herself across the room, wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight hug. He slowly places his arms around her and rubs at her side softly.

“I can’t believe it!” She says, pulling back to look up at him with amazement in her eyes. “The consultant said it could take _months_ , even years! I just can’t believe it!”

He plasters on a false smile and Chrissie grins up at him, eyes sparkling with joy. She cuddles back into his chest and runs her hands up and down his back; his smile falls when she can’t see him, and he presses his face into her neck breathing in her vanilla scent.

“We’re having a baby.” She whispers; and Robert’s stomach drops.

*****

He had never given much thought to children. Not really.

He’d thought about them of course, in that sort of abstract way of ‘sometime maybe, but not right now’. But never seriously, at least not until Chrissie had suggested it.

Having children was just something Robert assumed would happen eventually, being an omega it was almost a guarantee, something that was biologically ingrained in him from birth. But he’d never planned, never set a time frame; instead he’d concentrated on more important ambitions and fought for them both tooth and nail. 

But now those ambitions were fulfilled, for the most part, and he needed something else to do with his time. Why not a child?

As he’d lay in his and Chrissie’s bed the night of their talk over cereal and coffee at breakfast, those thoughts had run through his head as he listened to his wife breathe. 

Chrissie had been right, it would ‘complete them’ in a sense, strengthen them as a couple as well as strengthen Robert’s place within the family. Alongside that he couldn’t also help but consider the sentimentality of it all; the baby would be part of _him_ , his own flesh and blood, someone who would love him unconditionally even if, god forbid, their relationship ended up as bitter as his and his own father’s. 

Because he had loved Jack, despite the bitterness and anger he still felt towards him years after his death, he had loved him very much. 

But on the other hand, having a child would mean that would be it, he’d be settled down; no more games, no more flirtations… no more _Aaron_. No, definitely no more Aaron – not that Aaron had been talking to him anyway. 

He wouldn’t have room for Aaron, and certainly no time for him anyway even if he _was_ speaking to him. Chrissie was demanding of his time on her own, if there was a baby too then they would need to come first, before even Chrissie.

Aaron had supposed to have been just a bit of fun before things got serious, some ‘light relief’ from daily familial obligations and snide remarks from Lawrence. Aaron had supposed to be, for all intents and purposes: dispensable. 

At least that’s what he had tried to tell himself, his eyes fixed upwards on the bedroom ceiling and Chrissie’s arm thrown across his waist. His heart however, had thumped a little harder at the thought, in his ever tightening chest.

*****

Chrissie fawns over him the next few days, cooking him breakfast in bed and dropping everything for Robert if he so much as complains of a headache. It’s both caring and suffocating and he spends most of the days struggling to breathe.

5 days after he’d told Chrissie she suggests lunch at the pub over breakfast, a soft smile on her face as she watches him pick at his half eaten slice of toast across the table.

“It’d be nice to get out of the house for a while,” she says, fingers curled around her coffee mug. “You know just the 2 of us… well 3 of us I suppose if you think about it.”

He tries his best not to wince and nods in reply. “Yeah, sounds like a good idea. What time were you thinking?”

“Well I have a meeting at the Leeds salon at 11 so if we say 1 o’clock?” Chrissie smiles, picking up her mug and empty plate. “I’ll drive straight back and meet you there.”

He pushes his plate away and reaches for his own cooling mug. “That’s fine, I’ve got some paperwork I need to finish anyway.”

Chrissie places her mug and plate into the sink and moves around the island, he sits up obligingly as she leans down to kiss his lips, soft and chaste.

“I’ll see you later then.” She whispers, stroking her fingers along the back of his neck as she walks away. Robert keeps up the pretence of happiness until he hears the front door close quietly.

*****

He tries to concentrate on the pile of paperwork in front of him, but the whirling thoughts in his head won’t let him progress past the second paragraph, no matter how many times he gets up and makes coffee, before coming back with what he hopes will be fresh eyes. He can see Nicola starting to become irritated with him from the corner of his eye, her mouth pursing every time he sighs with frustration, and he huffs, leaning back in his chair and checking the time on his laptop.

12:36. Bit early to be leaving for the pub, but at least if he leaves soon he will be able to sneak in a pint before Chrissie gets there. 

With thoughts of a nice cold beer to calm his anxious procrastinating, he pushes back from his desk and grabs for his jacket. 

“Going for lunch.” He announces as he heads towards the door, ignoring Nicola’s quiet mutter of ‘Thank God’ as he closes the office door behind him.

He drives much too fast for the narrow country lanes as he heads into the village, foot twitchy against the throttle as some indie top 10 band blasts from the car radio. The pub is relatively busy when he arrives, parking around the back and cutting the engine, a group of walkers crowding around the benches on what appears to be their lunch break. He navigates through the tables and enters through the front, heading immediately for the bar and internally sighing when he sees Diane behind it.

“Pint please, Diane,” he says, reaching for his wallet and pulling out a fiver. Diane smiles and grabs for a glass.

“You alright pet? You look a bit stressed.”

He huffs a laugh and shakes his head as Diane hands over his drink. “Fine. Just work y’know?”

Diane hums and nods her head knowingly, turning away as one of the walking party calls her over from the other end of the bar. He gulps at his pint, checking his watch as he does so, and from the corner of his eye he sees his sister walk out from the back, a plate balanced in each hand as she laughs, her head turned to look back over her shoulder. He swallows back the last of his drink and opens his mouth to call her over – when Aaron follows her out with a teasing grin on his face. 

“Just you wait until Adam hears about this!” Vic calls back at Aaron as she places the plates down on a nearby table, smiling at the couple before turning her gaze towards Robert. “Oh hi Rob! Finally decided to venture out from the big house did ya?”

He sees Aaron’s head jerk in his direction and he forces himself to keep looking at his sister, plastering on a sarcastic smile as she grins cheekily at him and walks back behind the bar. 

He avoids Aaron’s eyes as he watches Victoria head through the door but instinctively finds himself turning towards him after she leaves. His gaze meets Aaron’s almost straight away and he sees a hint of _something_ in Aaron’s expression that doesn’t immediately make his heart sink. He toys with the base of his empty glass and just as he makes up his mind to go over – to _finally_ sort this out with Aaron – he sees Aaron’s face shut down, whatever warmth he’d held in his eyes evaporating in less than a heartbeat. 

“You’re already here.” Chrissie’s voice sounds from his left and he jumps, his head turning away from Aaron’s cold eyes to meet the loving ones of his wife.

“Yeah.” He answers, half breathless with surprise as he tries to school his face. “Yeah, Nicola was doing my head in so I thought I’d come down and get us a table.”

“Aww.” Chrissie coos, leaning forward to wrap her arm around his shoulders and kiss his cheek. “You’re so sweet.”

He smiles thinly and slides his palm across Chrissie’s waist as Diane walks back down the bar. Chrissie turns to greet her and leans against the counter top. 

“A glass of white for me and an orange juice please Diane. Also could we get a couple of menus?”

Diane raises an eyebrow as she picks up a wine glass with a smile. “Lunch date is it? Any reason in particular?”

Chrissie bites at her lip, trying to hold back her grin, and Robert feels something like terror settle in the back of his throat. He sees Victoria pop back out from the back and immediately his stomach sinks when Chrissie looks at him with uncontainable excitement on her face.

“Well…” Chrissie drawls, turning back to Diane. “Robert and I have had a little bit of news.”

“News? What’s this?” Vic pipes up, making her way over to stand by Diane, a confused frown pulling at her brow. He sees Aaron looking over from his seat at the end of the bar and feels his palms begin to sweat.

“Robert and I.” Chrissie starts, her hand coming to curl possessively around his bicep; Robert forces himself not to pull away. “Robert and I are having a baby!”

Victoria squeals in a high pitched shriek and he winces from the sound and the bone crushing hug he is quickly pulled into. 

“Oh my _god Robert!_ ” Vic exclaims squeezing her arms tight around his back. He hears Diane’s congratulations and excited chatter with Chrissie as his sister continues to hug the life out of him; eventually he manages to prise her away and he immediately turns, heart hammering, to look for Aaron. 

He’s still there, to both his relief and horror, but his expression is blank, completely flat and unreadable. Robert watches him intently as Aaron drains the last of his pint and slams his glass down a little too hard against the bar. Aaron looks up, his gaze meeting Robert’s as he pushes his stool back and stands.

His chest constricts as Aaron walks quickly through the bar, hurt flashing over his face.

*****

The first time he’d kissed Aaron it’d almost been too much.

He had been lusting after Aaron for weeks, fantasising about the feel of his toned arms under his hands, how he’d taste on the tip of his tongue. He’d sit in the office of Home Farm and lose himself in his head just thinking about what it’d be like for Aaron to fuck him, to suck him off slow and bring him to his knees, until Chrissie would snap at him after he failed to answer her one too many times. He’d tell himself that it was just a crush, just a silly infatuation that he’d get over soon enough, but deep down he'd known that Aaron had gotten well and truly under his skin. 

Aaron had tasted like lager and faded spearmint and Robert had groaned loudly when Aaron had manhandled him towards the truck with intent. 

It’d been Aaron’s fingertips though, brushing lightly against the bare skin of his throat as he stripped Robert’s jacket, that'd done it, brought him back down to Earth with a thump. 

It’d been wrong and he’d been stupid, so stupid to risk all that he’d worked for because of a minor spat with Chrissie. Aaron’s arms, and taste weren’t worth it, weren’t worth the loss he’d suffer if Chrissie ever found out. 

And so he’d pushed Aaron away and ran, ran away as quickly as he could from Aaron’s reddened mouth and dishevelled clothes. His musky leather scent and disappointed eyes. 

But it had been too late. Oh it had been much too late. He’d opened Pandora’s Box and after that there was no going back.

*****

He sits sandwiched between an overly excitable Victoria and a gushing Chrissie, half empty meals left on plates as the pair chatter enthusiastically between themselves, with Diane piping up from behind the bar every once in a while. He’s anxious, foot twitching against his chair leg as he stares at the door behind the bar, fully expecting Aaron to storm out in a fit of scornful rage at any second.

“Robert? Are you even listenin?” Victoria sighs, a smile pulling at her lips though. He blinks and clears his throat at the sound of her voice, shifting in his seat as his sister continues to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Sorry, did you er, say something?”

Victoria rolls her eyes fondly and nudges him with her elbow. 

“I _said_ do you want a boy or a girl?”

He bites at his lower lip and shrugs, toying with his half empty glass of orange juice. “I’ve er, not really thought about it.”

“We just want the baby to be healthy.” Chrissie pipes up leaning in against his side, her hand curling over his lower thigh and squeezing gently. He smiles weakly, turning to look at Chrissie’s grinning face, when his phone vibrates in his jeans pocket and he looks at her apologetically, sliding his phone out with fumbling fingers.

_**From: Aaron --- Received: 14:03**  
We need to talk. Now_

“Sorry to break this up ladies but I’ve got a bit of business to deal with,” he says, schooling his face to hide the pounding in his chest. Chrissie pouts but sits back in her seat.

“Can’t it wait? We’re supposed to be celebrating!” 

He shakes his head and pushes back his chair with a loud scrape.

“Afraid not, I’ll be back as soon as I can though.”

Chrissie tilts her head back for a kiss and Robert obliges, squeezing her shoulder as he turns and heads out through the main entrance. He looks around briefly before ducking around the side of the pub and knocking rapidly on the door.

The door swings open after just a couple of seconds, Aaron’s stony face appearing from behind. Robert buries his hands in his jeans pockets and shuffles awkwardly on the spot.

“You wanted to talk?” He prompts softly and Aaron’s brow furrows, his jaw clenching as he steps back into the hallway.

“Not here.” Aaron barks, turning away and walking through to the living room; Robert steps inside and closes the door behind him.

“So. Is it mine?” Aaron asks sharply as Robert moves through the doorway, his hands squarely on his hips as he stands in the centre of the room. Robert swallows and schools his face, his sweating palms clenching into fists inside his pockets.

“No, it’s not yours.”

“You sure?” Aaron replies, his eyes hard as he looks him over. He nods and feels a pang of irritation and hurt in his chest as Aaron’s face relaxes in relief, a hand coming up to rub at his eyes.

“You don’t have to look so relieved.” He snaps as Aaron drops down to sit at the dining table, legs splayed out as he leans back in the seat. Aaron huffs, eyebrows raised.

“What you want me to be disappointed that I haven’t knocked you up? I don’t want a kid Robert, especially one with you.”

Robert tries his hardest to stop the pained clenching of his jaw and folds his arms across his body; his throat feeling unnaturally tight as he clears it roughly.

“Well you don’t have to worry,” he says gruffly, his eyes unable to look in Aaron’s direction. “It’s Chrissie’s. 100 percent.”

He hears Aaron sigh and glances over as Aaron stands from the table and gestures to the door behind Robert’s back. 

“Right well, you can go.”

He blinks incredulously and stares back at Aaron, his lips parting in protest.

“Seriously? Are you seriously doing this _again_? You can’t keep doing this Aaron!”

“Doing what?” Aaron shrugs, hands slipping nonchalantly into his jeans pockets. Robert’s cheek twitches with frustration and his fingers curl against his palm.

“You know what!” He snaps, anger simmering up inside him as Aaron huffs an amused laugh. “Having me come running and then chucking me out once you’ve had enough. It’s not fair on me Aaron!”

“Fair?” Aaron laughs broken, his voice twisting in a way that makes Robert’s chest twinge. “You wanna talk to me about what’s _fair_? Cause I tell ya what isn’t fair Robert is _you_ , you comin’ in here with your pretty missus playin’ happy families and lording it all in my face, _that’s_ what isn’t fair Robert. So just get out.”

Robert swallows, guilt welling up in his throat as he looks back at Aaron. At his tensed muscles and reddening eyes; he longs to step forward, to reach out and just _hold_ him, but knows that that isn’t an option anymore. He’s not even sure that it ever has been.

“Fine,” Aaron says after a moment, his shoulders slumping defeated. “If you won’t go then I will.”

“Aaron – ” He starts, turning on the spot as Aaron moves past him towards the back door. Aaron doesn’t stop though, doesn’t even acknowledge Robert’s voice, and he winces as the slam of the door echoes out from the hallway.

*****

Chrissie insists on telling Lawrence and Lachlan that night.

Lawrence crows loudly and pulls Chrissie in for a hug, before shaking Robert’s hand perfunctorily and business like. He cracks open a bottle of his best single malt and Chrissie protests when he places a glass in Robert’s hand, claiming ‘one won’t hurt’. He forces a grin, but swirls the amber liquid around in the glass, figuring that the pint he’d gulped down in the pub was probably already pushing his luck.

Lachlan’s expression is blank, neither delighted or an angry mess. He remains seated the whole time, arms folded and disinterested on the sofa. When Chrissie prompts him for a response he just shrugs and stands to go to his room. Robert doesn’t miss the way Chrissie’s smile falters. 

His sleep is disturbed that night, stuttering and restless. As Chrissie breathes steadily beside him, half drunk on Lawrence’s booze, he can’t help but wish that he’d drank the whisky too.

*****

Aaron had been running. A lot. Way, way too much.

It’d shocked him at first, the state Aaron had worked himself into while he’d been gone. It’d been bad before he’d left, the quarry being the first sign of many, but he hadn’t thought it would escalate so quickly, especially not with both Chas and Paddy circling him like hawks.

But it had and Aaron had seemed to only be getting worse.

He’d followed him in the end, sat outside the pub in one of Home Farm’s pickups in the rain, and waited until Aaron had stumbled back from another of his runs, out of breath and heaving as he’d reached out to brace himself on the bin.

He’d stepped out of the car and tried to get Aaron to talk, tried to break through the walls Aaron had so clearly put up around himself to keep everyone out, but Aaron had shut him down viciously and slammed the door in his face. That night Robert had sat up long into the early hours, emotions flicking between anger at Aaron’s dismissal, and anguish at the obvious pain he was in.

A few days later he’d been sat in the pub with Andy when Aaron had stumbled in, drenched in sweat with a haunted look on his face. The image wouldn’t leave his head and he had wondered aimlessly around the house, feeling sick to his stomach and toying with his phone anxiously for the rest of the day.

“You look like death warmed over,” Lawrence had said, unscrewing the cap on his single malt and pouring himself a measure. He had nodded towards Robert with the bottle and Robert had shook his head. 

“I’m a bit worried.” He’d replied, pausing his pacing when Lawrence had raised his eyebrow. “About Andy.”

Lawrence had sipped slowly at his drink and nodded his head. 

“Understandably. But he’s doing better now isn’t he? And he has Diane and Victoria around him to keep an eye on him now too; he’ll be fine.” Lawrence had acknowledged, before walking around the kitchen island and gesturing at Robert lazily with his glass in his hand. “You on the other hand have a lot on your plate right now. I know Chrissie is the one having _issues_ , but you stressing out about your brother won’t help things along either.”

Robert had pursed his mouth and nodded, flashing Lawrence a false smile and waving a hand towards the doorway over his shoulder.

“I’m er, not feeling great actually,” he’d said, not really stretching the truth when his pulse had begun to throb in his temple. “I’m gonna have a lie down. Let Chrissie know when she’s back.”

Lawrence had nodded and Robert had headed up the stairs to his and Chrissie’s room, immediately kicking off his shoes and dropping down onto the bed. He’d fallen asleep almost the instant his head had hit the pillow.

When he’d woken it’d been nearly dark and his skin had felt like it was on fire. 

Chrissie opening the door had been what had disturbed him, and he’d smelt her before he’d seen her.

“Robert, are you…?” She’d trailed off, her eyes wide and lips parted. Robert had shifted his legs and felt the slick sticking the material of his trousers to the back of his thighs.

“Yeah.” He’d croaked, and Chrissie had smiled, stepping further into the room.

He’d whimpered needily when she had climbed over him and scraped her teeth at his throat, fully succumbing to the rushing hormones of the first heat he’d had in 13 years. The earlier worries he’d had about Aaron all but fading into the recesses of his brain, as he’d lost himself to pulsing need and Chrissie’s dark vanilla scent.

*****

Victoria hovers around him like the natural born Mother Hen she is. She fusses at him every chance she gets, and he rolls his eyes at her cooing when she catches sight of his still tiny belly for the first time.

“Did you know.” She starts one afternoon, leaning against the bar as Robert sups at his orange juice. “That at 13 weeks a baby is the size of a lemon.”

He rolls his eyes and places his glass down with a sigh. “No I didn’t Vic. More to the point why do _you_ know?”

“Google,” she says with a shrug. “Oh come on Robert, can’t you just admit that you’re a teensy weensy bit excited?” 

“I’m excited,” he says flatly. Vic rolls her eyes and swats at his arm.

“Robert! Come on! It’s a _baby_ , I mean look I can see it’s eyes and everything!” She smiles, leaning over and poking at his stomach gently. Robert bats her hand away and huffs, despite the grin pulling at his face.

“Alright, alright! Pack it in will ya! I’m excited, I can’t wait to have a red snotty, wailing, lump for a kid. Better?”

“Better.” Vic concedes, her lopsided grin matching his own. She adjusts her chef’s hat on her head and leans down to fold her arms against the bar top. “So d’you know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?”

“No.” He replies, toying with a stray beer mat. “It’s too early.”

“Are you gonna find out?”

“Probably not.” He shrugs, leaning back on his stool and folding his arms over his chest. He adjusts the way his shirt falls when he sees Vic’s eyes brighten as the material pulls tight. 

Vic pouts and tilts her head slightly to the side. “Why not though? Would make it all a lot easier when it comes to buying stuff.”

“Just not thought about it to be honest,” he says, eyes trailing away from his sister as he sees Chas walk in from the back. She scowls when she sees him, and he ducks his gaze away sheepish.

“Er, I didn’t think I was payin’ you to stand around gossiping Victoria?” Chas calls over, hands on her hips. Vic straightens up and looks at Chas over her shoulder.

“I was serving Robert actually.”

“Yeah well now you’re helping Marlon with his cottage pie.” Chas grins sarcastically and Victoria rolls her eyes at him, pushing away from the bar.

“See you later.” She mouths, before turning and hurrying back through to the kitchen. Chas watches her go, and then stalks across the bar towards him to his dismay.

“You’ve got a nerve!” She hisses, eyes hard and so completely unlike her son’s. He reaches for his glass and takes a slow drink, raising an eyebrow at her pointedly.

“My sister works here,” he says with a shrug. “Last time I checked this was a free country.”

“You just stay away from Aaron alright.” Chas snaps, fierce and protective. “He doesn’t want you. Especially not now…” She trails off, her nose wrinkling in disgust as she glances down at his waist. 

His spine prickles at that, and he longs to snarl, to jump across the bar and rip into Chas piece by piece; instead he fixes a smug expression on his face and leans close into her personal space.

“Oh really? Is that why you’re out here tellin’ me that instead of him?” He leers; Chas’ jaw flexes unhappily. “Back off Chas, Aaron doesn’t need a guard dog.”

He slams his glass down hard on the bar and climbs down from his seat. He feels Chas’s eyes boring into him the whole way to the door.

*****

Lachlan steals Lawrence’s credit card again and blows £20,000 in under 6 hours.

Chrissie’s shouts can be heard even from behind the locked door to their en-suite, where Robert stands underneath the scolding hot shower. It’d been clear that something like this would happen; Lachlan had been too quiet, too accepting. It was obvious that something wasn’t quite right, obvious that is to everyone but Lawrence and Chrissie.

“I thought you were happy about this!?” Chrissie cries, her voice loaded with hurt and tears filters through the air as he heads back down the stairs, damp hair curling at his nape.

“Happy?” Lachlan snorts nastily. “Why would I be happy about some snotty brat hanging about the place?”

“Lachlan! That’s your brother or sister, how can you say that?!”

He steps through into the doorway of the living room and immediately Lachlan’s eyes snap towards him; he huffs and rolls his eyes, and Robert’s jaw hardens.

“Great, and now _he’s_ here. Whatever, I’m done with this.” Lachlan replies, pushing past Chrissie and over towards the door. Robert steps aside and Lachlan storms towards the staircase.

“I just don’t understand,” Chrissie says wetly, turning to face him and rubbing at her cheeks with the back of her hand. “I thought everything was okay?”

He pulls Chrissie into his arms and allows her to sob against his throat. He strokes her hair soothingly and she wraps her arms around his waist, holding him close.

“Look, why don’t you spend a bit of time with him?” He murmurs after a while, rocking her gently as her cries begin to subside. “Go away somewhere for a few days, spend a bit of quality time together.”

Chrissie pulls her face back to look up at him and wipes clumsily at her eyes. “What about you? Dad’s away on business, will you be alright looking after this place by yourself?”

Robert smiles reassuringly and brushes his hand through the back of her hair.

“I’ll be fine, it’s not like I haven’t done it before.”

Chrissie nods and sniffs, her hands pulling back around to his side and rubbing protectively. 

“I know, I know, but it’s different now,” she says softly, her left hand then sliding to rest against his stomach pointedly. He stiffens minutely in Chrissie’s embrace and he schools his face against the annoyance he feels at her insinuation.

“I’ll be fine.” He forces out, false smile fixed on his lips as Chrissie looks up at him with undisguised worry. “I mean what’s the worst that could happen?”

*****

He hadn’t meant to kill Katie.

He hadn’t honestly. He’d just wanted to scare her, wanted to stop her from talking, from telling Chrissie he’d been sleeping with another alpha, and a _male_ one at that.

He’d loved Katie once; it hadn’t been enough to stop him from sleeping with Sadie, but he had loved her in a way. Years later, after he’d met Chrissie, he’d accepted that it never would have worked. She would have left him for Andy eventually, would have run back to strong alpha Andy, who would have been able to give her everything that she'd wanted, and was everything that Robert was not. He’d been bitter about that for a while, but he hadn’t been bitter enough to want her dead – and especially not by his own hands. 

Andy had been distraught in the days and weeks after, and Robert had been wracked with guilt. After the funeral and the quarry, he’d taken to long walks at night, wondering aimlessly through the fields he’d used to run through as a kid and trying his hardest not to break. 

He’d thought about Andy and Katie; had thought about Chrissie and the fact that she thought he didn’t hear her crying when she was by herself, heartbroken and upset at the thought of never having another child. 

He’d often wondered if that was karma coming back to bite him, Katie having her revenge and putting a blockade on his future anyway; but he made sure to shake those thoughts, when they crept up on him, from his head before they could truly take hold. Before they could consume him with guilt and leave him a trembling wreck against another dew-covered fence. 

If he had also done the same when thoughts of Aaron became relentless in his mind, it was only because Andy and Chrissie had been more important and more needing of his attention; and not because they would leave him feeling sick and empty. 

He had always headed home when the birds would begin to sing, their songs too happy for a sky still so dark. Chrissie would curl into him when he’d climb back into the bed, still asleep but aware of his presence, and he’d wrap an arm around her waist seeking out her warmth – try his hardest to erase the cold that had seeped into his bones, and forget about the thoughts of bad karmas and scornful ex-lovers.

*****

3 days after Chrissie leaves with Lachlan, Victoria accosts him to have tea at hers.

“Now I know what you’re like Robert,” she says, bending down to pull a large casserole dish from the oven. “3 days without Chrissie and you’ll have been living off Chinese and takeaway pizza, am I right?” 

He mutters under his breath but doesn’t argue, knowing that if Vic so wished to look, she’d find half a Dominos Mighty Meaty taking up the top shelf of the fridge up at Home Farm. 

“I can actually cook y’know?” He says instead to Vic’s raised eyebrow as she places the dish down on the table, pulling off her pink oven gloves before she grabs for a large spoon.

“That may well be the case but it’s if you actually do it that’s the point!”

She dishes out the meal and smiles when she passes him a plate. He finds himself tucking in with more gusto than he expected, the casserole full of flavour and tasting as delicious as it smells. Vic smirks at him pleased and he rolls his eyes as he chews at another forkful, nodding his head when she asks if he’s enjoying it.

She starts talking then, chattering away about her day and the complete nightmare Marlon was currently being at work. She gets halfway through her story about Marlon’s disastrous meringues and the ensuing argument they’d had about them, when he first feels it, a twinge of pain clamping around his lower belly. He winces, fork held aloft in his hand, and Victoria cuts herself off mid-sentence.

“Rob? You okay?” She asks concerned, her brow creased as she runs her eyes over him.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” He breathes out, placing his fork back down on his plate and nodding his head, despite the worry he can feel beginning to niggle away in the back of his head. “Happens sometimes.”

“If you’re sure? I can call someone if you want?” Vic says carefully, her expression still uncertain. He shakes his head and smiles at her strained.

“Vic I’m fine, honest. Now go on, what was that about Marlon’s meringues?”

It happens a couple of more times during the course of the hour, each one causing the niggle of worry to grow bigger and bigger. He does his best to hide his pain from Victoria, but by the look on her face he’s not quite sure he’s successful.

Vic stands up when they’re done to begin clearing the plates away, and he rubs at his stomach as another pain, stronger than before, cramps at his belly.

“Just gonna use your loo,” he says as lightly as he can, pushing his chair back and standing up as straight as his body will allow him. Vic glances at him over her shoulder with a furrowed brow, and he attempts to smile at her reassuringly as he walks to the door.

He climbs the stairs steadily, pain still clamping his midsection. He pushes at the bathroom door with one hand and leans his back against it to close it to. He breathes deeply for a second, half winded from the pain, before clumsily fumbling at his belt and pushing his jeans down to his knees.

He feels something wet drip down his thigh and he rubs his fingers along the inside of his leg; he pulls his hand back and feels his chest constrict tight.

“Vic,” he says voice weak and stunned as he stares at his fingers. He exhales shakily, hand trembling and turns his head towards the door before shouting for his sister.

“Vic! _Victoria!_ ”

He hears feet rush up the stairs and not seconds later the sound of the door handle turning.

“Robert? What’s – ” Victoria cuts herself off and her eyes widen as she stares at his raised hand; Robert breathes shallow and wide eyed as he turns to face her.

“Vic, Vic I’m bleeding.”

*****

He gets taken through to a private room pretty swiftly despite A&E being jam packed to the rafters. Vic sticks close beside him the whole time, her expression trying to be one of reassurance despite the tears building in the corners of her eyes.

A nurse – or midwife he presumes – brings him a gown and softly instructs him to change, her eyes thankfully not falling to his now ruined clothes, and settle himself on the bed. He does so slowly, hands shaking, and Victoria talks to him gently from behind the pale green curtain drawn across the room. 

The midwife prods and pokes at him, her hands firm but gentle; but he still hisses with pain as she presses against his stomach, tears uncontrollably filling his eyes that he tries to blink back rapidly.

“Am I losing it?” He asks falteringly, the midwife gives him a sad smile and straightens up, removing her gloves and dropping them into the bin at the side of the bed.

“I’m afraid I can’t say love,” she says sympathetically. “Sometimes these things just stop by themselves, sometimes they don’t. We should know more when we get your test results back, I’ll send someone in to do an ultrasound and that should give us a better idea of what is going on.”

She steps around the bed and pushes back the curtain; Vic moves to stand by her side, teeth worrying at her bottom lip.

“Is there anyone you’d like us to call?” The midwife asks. “Your alpha maybe?”

“She’s in Portsmouth.” Victoria replies, her voice choked. “But I’m sure she’d come up here as soon as she knew.”

“No,” he says, shaking his head. He sees Victoria frown from the corner of his eye but can’t bring himself to look at her. There’s only one person he wants with him, just one person he trusts to see him like this, weak and vulnerable and hurting so badly. 

“Aaron. Can you call Aaron?”

“Aaron?” Vic parrots, her brow now furrowed in confusion rather than concern. “Why Aa – ”

“Please Vic. Just – just call him.” He answers tiredly, another wave of pain rushing over him as his eyes slip closed. 

He hears Vic agree softly and the door to the room open and shut as both the midwife and his sister leave. He breathes steadily, in and out as he tries to ride the crest of the pain, doing his best not to let those thoughts of bad karma creep up on him once more.

*****

He’d had a nightmare one night when Aaron had stayed at Home Farm.

It’d been a long time coming. He hadn’t been able to go on one of his walks for over a week and he’d felt it, like the tension before a thunderstorm, just waiting for the right moment to break.

He’d left Aaron in bed and stumbled downstairs, breathless and shaking, to grab for Lawrence’s decanter and pour himself a shot. He’d swallowed it down in one and readied himself to pour another, when he heard footsteps in the hallway followed by Aaron’s half naked body appearing in the door.

“Y’alright?” Aaron had asked sleepily, rubbing at his eyes and blinking blearily. Robert had nodded, swallowing back his second shot before lowering his glass.

“Will be.” He’d tried to smile, gesturing with the empty glass. “When I’ve had enough of this.”

Aaron hadn’t said anything but moved further into the room, dropping down to sit on one of the sofas. Robert had hesitated by the drinks table, tempted to pour yet another drink, but eventually had placed the glass down and moved to join Aaron, sinking back into the cushions with a tired sigh.

“I had a nightmare,” he’d said after a while, both of them sat in silence with only the single lamp Robert had switched on to light the room. Aaron had hummed encouragingly and shifted to fold his arms over his chest.

“About Katie?”

“No.” He’d replied, shaking his head. It hadn’t been strictly true, she’d been there, lurking at the edge of it all, dead eyes and pale skin, but it’d been the same nightmare as always. The one he’d had since he was a kid.

“There’s a fire.” He’d said eventually, Aaron waiting patiently for him to continue. “In the barn, the one back on the farm at my dad’s.”

Aaron had nodded and bit his lip.

“Your mum.”

“Yeah.” He’d whispered, a thick lump catching in his throat as flashes of the dream had lit up behind his eyes. “She’s screaming. Always just screamin’ and I can’t – I can’t _get_ to her. I can’t get her _out_.”

He’d breathed heavily then, half gasping as he’d felt tears begin to burn at his eyes. He’d leant forward and braced his forearms on the tops of his thighs, and rubbed his palms into his eyes.

“It’s stupid.” He’d muttered, trying to wipe away the wetness from his cheeks before Aaron could see. “It was years ago, I should be over it.”

The sofa had moved underneath him and he’d felt Aaron draw closer, the side of his bare thigh brushing against his own.

“Just ‘cause it was years ago don’t mean you’ve gotta be over it,” Aaron had said softly, and Robert had sniffed and raised his head. “It was summat bad that happened to ya, you’re gonna think about it now and again.”

“You mean like Jackson?” He’d asked, wiping again at his eyes. Aaron had blinked for a second, before he’d glanced away and shifted his legs, twisting his fingers together.

“Yeah. Yeah, like Jackson.”

They’d sat in silence for a while, legs pressed against one another and only the sound of their soft breathing to break the quiet. He’d seen Aaron’s eyes begin to drop, his head pressed back into the sofa cushions, and he’d nudged Aaron softly, gesturing upwards in the direction of the bedroom.

When he’d finally fallen back to sleep, he’d had the best night’s sleep he’d had in weeks. Aaron had lay curled up against his chest and Robert had held him close, unwilling to let him go for even a second.

*****

Barely half an hour passes after Victoria comes back into the room, before the sound of footsteps stops outside the door. Vic pauses half way through her sentence – another light-hearted story designed to distract him from the darkness and cramps – and turns to look towards the doorway as the handle pulls down.

Aaron’s frowning face appears in the gap, and Robert’s heart lurches in his chest at the sight of him.

“Alright?” Aaron says slowly, eyes flitting around the room as he steps inside. Vic’s smile is fragile as she looks up at him, and Robert swallows roughly as Aaron’s gaze finally lands on him.

“Would you give us a bit Vic,” he says slowly, eyes unable to move from Aaron’s. There is silence for a moment, nothing but the slow beep of the heart monitor, and he thinks he’ll have to talk Vic into leaving them alone; but then there is the soft scrape of a chair and suddenly Vic is by his side, leaning down to place a kiss to his forehead.

“We’re gonna talk about this,” she says meaningfully, her fingers curled in his messy hair. “I’ll go to the canteen and get a coffee, but we are gonna talk about this Rob.”

He nods, and pulls his gaze from Aaron’s awkward form to look at his sister. “Thank you. I don’t know what – ”

“Shhh,” she says softly, pressing another kiss to his hair and stepping back. “It’s okay, love you.”

“Love you too.” He murmurs, smiling at her sadly as she turns to go. She squeezes Aaron’s arm on her way past and gives him the same meaningful look, but then she’s gone, and it’s just him and Aaron and a room full of loaded questions.

“What am I doing here?” Aaron says tiredly, the latch on the door clicking closed. Robert looks up at Aaron’s face once more and his fingers curl into the sheets by his hips.

“I’m – I’m losing it,” he says, his voice sounding broken to his own ears. “The baby. I’m losing it.”

Aaron’s expression falls a little, though Robert can tell he tries his best not to let it show. He feels unwanted tears begin to well up in his eyes again and drops his gaze away from Aaron to the sheets covering his legs.

“I’m – m’sorry.” Aaron answers quietly. “I am Robert, honest. But why did ya call me and where’s Chrissie?”

“I don’t _need_ Chrissie!” He bursts out, breath short and gasping. Fear finally beginning to get the best of him as the whole situation starts to sink in. “I need you.”

Aaron’s brow furrows once more and he shuffles anxiously on the spot.

“But someone needs to tell her Robert. She needs to know, it’s her baby too!”

He shakes his head in disagreement, lower lip trembling as he folds his arms across his chest. “No.”

“You need to tell her Robert! She needs – ”

“No!” He shouts, turning his head to face Aaron fully. Aaron’s eyes are wide and confused, his lips still half parted on a word. “Don’t you get it Aaron?! Don’t you understand?!”

Aaron blinks slowly and shakes his head; Robert laughs a half sob.

“The baby isn’t Chrissie’s,” he says, words heavy and weighted. “It’s yours Aaron. The baby’s _yours_.”


	2. Chapter 2

They had been drunk, so very, very drunk.

He’d opened one of Lawrence’s best Irish whiskeys for the hell of it. He’d had a long day and Aaron had been late coming back from the scrapyard, a pickup in Doncaster running _way_ over schedule. 

Aaron had grumbled when he’d finally shown up, oil stained and smelling ripe, and had immediately headed for the shower; Robert had sighed and grabbed for the pile of takeaway menus that had set up home on the kitchen counter, heading for the living room and Lawrence’s extensive booze cabinet.

When Aaron had reappeared, freshly scrubbed and dressed in a pair of soft tracksuit bottoms and one of Robert’s white t-shirts, he had been on his second measure. The whiskey peaty and heavy on his tongue as he’d sipped it slowly.

“I ordered Chinese, hope that’s alright?” He’d asked, shifting on the sofa to make room for Aaron. Aaron had sat down and nodded, reaching for the bottle on the coffee table. He’d raised an eyebrow curiously as he’d twisted it about in his hands and carefully unscrewed the lid.

“This any good?” He’d questioned, sniffing cautiously at the bottle; Robert had snickered, amused.

“You jokin’? That stuff’s 200 quid a bottle.”

Aaron had rolled his eyes and pulled a face, but he’d still grabbed for an empty glass on the table and poured himself a drink. He’d knocked back half the shot in one go and Robert had stared at him, half horrified and half impressed at the sight. Aaron had grimaced as he’d swallowed, and Robert had huffed a laugh.

“You’re supposed to sip it,” he’d said with a grin. Aaron had snorted and shook his head.

“You need to get out more mate.” He’d laughed, necking the rest of the whiskey before pouring himself another one, and leaning over to refill Robert’s glass.

It’d got messy after that. 

They’d eaten the Chinese through drunken laughter and slurred conversation. Aaron had kept their glasses topped up, and had needled him into playing a stupid drinking game while watching a re-run of Fast and Furious on ITV2. By 10:30 he had been well and truly smashed, and the flush on Aaron’s cheeks had been causing his dick to throb in his jeans. 

Their kisses had been sloppy as he’d pushed Aaron down onto his back, Aaron gasping against his mouth as he’d straddled his hips. He’d moaned when Aaron had ground his cock up against his arse, and had reached down to pull at the hem of Aaron’s t-shirt.

They’d stripped clumsily then, their clothes tossed carelessly across the room. He’d shoved impatiently at the waistband of Aaron’s trackies, and worked them down to the tops of his knees as Aaron had unbuttoned his shirt. He’d lost his jeans and boxers some time before, and he’d felt a tug in his stomach as Aaron’s dick had slid wet and hot along the crease of his thigh.

“Want you to fuck me.” He’d smirked, lazy and lopsided, as he’d rocked his hips slowly. Aaron had groaned and wrapped his palms around his hips, pulling him closer still until he could feel Aaron’s cock pressing up behind his balls. Aaron had slipped his hand over his hip and down between his legs, fingers playing lightly across his entrance; he’d groaned loudly as his fingers slipped easily inside, Robert’s body giving way with little resistance.

“So wet already, _fuck_!” He’d gasped as Robert rocked back against the digits instinctively, before leaning down to nip at Aaron’s lower lip, chasing the taste of whiskey that still lingered. 

“Just fuck me Aaron.” He’d begged between kisses. “Please, jus’ fuck me.”

Aaron had pulled his head back from his mouth and moaned unhappily. “Don’t have anythin’ down here.”

“Never stopped ya before.” He’d panted mindlessly, fucking himself on the curl of Aaron’s fingers, and Aaron had nodded, eyes glazed with alcohol and the raging pheromones drenching the room. 

He’d sighed happily as he’d sunk down on Aaron’s cock, bending over to bury his face in Aaron’s neck and suck hard at his collarbone. Aaron had wrapped his calloused hands around Robert’s hip bones as he’d thrust up to meet him.

They hadn’t lasted long, too drunk on both whiskey and each other to take it slow. He’d moaned brokenly as he’d got close, his rhythm faltering as his insides had tightened; Aaron had sworn the air blue and thrust hard, fingers pulling at his hair as he’d come.

Afterwards he’d collapsed against Aaron’s heaving chest, vision blurry and limbs heavy. Aaron had draped his arm around his shoulders and Robert had murmured lazily against his throat as they’d drifted off to sleep, happy and content pressed close against his chest.

When they’d woken the next morning they’d showered almost immediately, temples banging with the after effects of too much alcohol. Robert’s brain had been slow and sluggish that morning, otherwise he would have paid more attention to the dried stickiness coating both his inner thighs.

*****

Aaron stares down at him with an expression torn between anger and dismay.

“Why would you say that?” He asks, voice breaking as he breathes hard, chest rising and falling perceptibly. “Robert why would you _say that_?!”

“Because it’s the truth.” He answers quietly, his throat choked up and wrecked. “I’m sorry Aaron, I’m sorry.”

Aaron shakes his head and rubs a hand over his face; Robert watches his every move with barely disguised desperation.

“You told me it was Chrissie’s,” Aaron says eventually, his tone of voice accusing and harsh. “I asked ya Robert and you swore it weren’t mine.”

His stomach begins to cramp once more and he inhales slowly, fighting back the desire to curl up tight and clutch at his belly. 

“Well I lied.” He grits out instead, and shifts up against the pillows to try and support his back. “Does that come as such a shock to you really?!”

“And how do I know you’re not lyin’ now?” Aaron asks flatly, his jaw twitching at the side. Robert feels a sinking hurt in his chest and bites hard at his lower lip.

“I’m not. I wish I was Aaron, but I’m not,” he says through heavy breaths as he makes himself meet Aaron’s eyes. Aaron stares back at him intently, until he winces and breaks eye contact, shuffling his feet from side to side and flexing his hands as hard as the muscle in his jaw line. 

“I can’t do this…” He trails off sharply, twisting his body to turn towards the door. Robert feels his heart fall into his stomach, and moves instinctively to push himself up, to try and stop Aaron from leaving, when the door to the room opens and a dark haired nurse blocks the exit.

“I’m Alice, I’m here to do your ultrasound?” She says gently, looking between them both hesitantly as if sensing the tension. He nods distracted, eyes still focused on Aaron’s back and the nurse smiles, moving towards the machine in the corner of the room. Aaron remains unmoved, still halfway towards the door.

“Please.” He begs softly, aware of the stranger in the corner but desperately unwilling to let Aaron walk away, not when he can feel his heart thumping so hard in his chest. “Please Aaron, don’t leave me. I can’t – ”

Aaron glances at him over his shoulder and Robert swallows back the rest of his sentence, unable to voice his fears and upset to Aaron’s face if Aaron was determined to walk away. He looks down and away to the sheets covering his legs, and prepares himself for the sound of the door closing shut.

“Okay,” Aaron’s voice says however, and Robert looks up in surprise. Aaron turns back around and flicks his gaze towards the nurse, before exhaling and moving back towards the bed. He slides down into the seat vacated by Vic and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he rubs at his mouth. Robert nods weakly, and slumps back against the pillows once more, keeping one eye on Aaron as the nurse pulls the ultrasound closer.

It’s quiet in the room, the nurse – Alice – finishing the set up before instructing him to lift the gown up to his chest; he doesn’t miss the way Aaron’s eyes widen slightly at the small bump of his stomach. 

Alice places the wand against his skin and moves it around slowly, ripples of black and grey swirling over the screen until she pauses and the familiar bean shaped blob appears, larger than the previous image of it still tucked away in his wallet. She taps a button and suddenly a wet sounding thump bursts from the speakers of the machine. Robert feels his body sag with relief.

“The heartbeat is strong.” Alice smiles, adjusting her grip on the wand. “Everything looks good, baby is a good size for 14 weeks.”

“So everything looks okay?” He asks hesitantly, eyes flicking between the screen and the nurse. Alice nods and he exhales a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding.

“We’ll keep you in overnight though,” she says. “It’s not uncommon to have some bleeding during the early months, but along with the pain you’re experiencing it’s best we just keep you in for observation for a little while, and also so we can do a few more tests to rule some things out.”

“What – ” Aaron starts gruffly and Robert turns his head sharply towards the sound of his voice. Aaron is still hunched over in the seat, knuckles pressed under his chin and jaw tight. There’s a crease in between his brows and Robert longs to run his thumb over it and smooth it out. “What y’know, could be causing it?”

“It’s hard to say in all honesty.” Alice replies, pausing the picture on the screen and beginning to clean the wand as she looks over at Aaron. “But if I had to say, you may be experiencing something called a threatened miscarriage.”

“Does that mean it could still happen though?” Robert asks worriedly, accepting the tissues Alice hands him to wipe off his belly. He pulls his gown back down and adjusts himself against the pillows. 

“It is a possibility, but the scan isn’t showing up anything to cause concern. If your other tests come back clear then we would say you have nothing to worry about.” She answers with a small reassuring smile, and stands up from her stool to begin tidying the machine away. “Try and get some rest. I know it’s difficult, but you’ll feel better for it.” 

It takes her a moment but eventually she had the ultrasound machine packed away and she moves over towards the door.

“I’ll leave you both to it for now,” she says, and Robert twitches his lips up in what he hopes comes across as thanks. 

The door clicks quietly closed behind her as she leaves and the room falls back into silence. He slowly lets his eyes drag over to Aaron still sat beside the bed, his gaze firmly fixed on the floor. He struggles to find the words to say, but in the end Aaron gets there first, lifting his head up and staring at Robert with determined eyes.

“Think you’ve got some explaining to do, don’t you?”

*****

Aaron had been close to breaking point and Robert had felt helpless.

He’d tried talking to him, telling him that it wasn’t his fault, that he shouldn’t feel guilty, but it was no use. Aaron had been too consumed in his own head, in his own self-destructive conscience, to listen to his pleas.

In the end, he’d known he’d had no choice.

 _I killed her._ He’d never forget the look on Aaron’s face at those words, never forget the hurt and betrayal that had flashed in his eyes; the rage when he’d finally snapped. 

Aaron’s fists had hurt, but not as much as the knowledge that Aaron hated him did, and as he’d scrabbled about in the dirt he’d felt a pain in his chest that had nothing to do with a physical injury.

He’d thought that’d been it, game over, as he’d stood in the kitchen at Home Farm after, Chrissie dabbing at his face and making distressed noises. That he’d be spending the rest of his life in a prison cell; but he should have known really, Aaron was too loyal for his own good. Far too loyal.

When he’d arrived at the Woolpack Vic had been there, staring at Aaron with a mix of fear and confusion. They’d both turned when he’s stumbled inside and Vic’s eyes had widened at his bloodied face.

“Is it even safe to leave you two alone?” She’d asked, and he’d nodded, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on Aaron’s furious face.

She’d left then, cautiously closing the door behind her, and Robert had swallowed apprehensively, Aaron’s glare still piercing and unwavering from across the room.

He’d tried to talk him down then, let Aaron know that it was for the best if they kept quiet, that it would do more harm than good. Aaron had shaken his head, and Robert had taken a seat opposite him when Aaron had said that he couldn’t deal with the guilt.

“Then talk to me,” he’d said, half desperate as he’d shifted in his seat. “I’m the only person who understands Aaron, the only person who knows how you feel. And I – I can’t have you ending up on the edge of a quarry again.”

Aaron tears and broken expression had told him that it hadn’t been enough though, and as Aaron had stood and walked away he’d panicked.

He’d meant it when he’d said he loved Aaron. He had honestly.

He’d spent months trying to fight it but he’d known it was true. He had known for months, since before the wedding – before even the first hotel trip if he was truly being honest with himself – and the thoughts he’d had of losing Aaron over the previous few weeks had only highlighted the strength of the feeling; the desire and desperation to keep Aaron _safe_.

But if his admission had also stopped Aaron from doing something stupid like confessing all to the police, then the twisted part inside of him would take that as a result too. 

When he’d left he hadn’t known if Aaron would do it or not. He’d spent the next couple of hours trying not to fall apart completely and attempting to avoid Chrissie’s upset face, her unnecessary worry for Lachlan grating on him in a way he could usually cope with. 

But when his phone had vibrated in his pocket with a text from Aaron he’d known, known instinctively that they would be okay.

And so he’d gone to the pub despite Chrissie’s concern and protestations, had headed straight for Aaron and the mess they’d created. Aaron had been quiet but open, and when he’d smiled tentative and soft, Robert had grinned in reply; his heart pounding double time when he’d seen the same look in his eyes, reflected back at him in Aaron’s own.

*****

He plays with the hem of the scratchy sheet absently and flicks his gaze between the man sat at his bedside, and his antsy fingers; his wedding ring glinting as it catches the faint light shining through the half open blinds.

“What do you want to know?” He asks quietly, tearing his gaze away from his ring to look at Aaron fully. Aaron looks back at him, stare unwavering and cold as he leans forward in the chair, the line of his back and shoulders ridged.

“Well how do you know it’s _actually_ mine? Unless you’re honestly tellin’ me you weren’t fucking your wife at the same time as you were screwin’ me.”

He winces at Aaron’s choice of words, his harsh tone hitting him harder than it usually would, and licks nervously at his lower lip.

“Chrissie’s got fertility issues which the doctors say could take years to fix,” he says slowly, watching Aaron’s face carefully as he speaks. “Not only that but the dates don’t match up, it can only be yours.”

“But we didn’t – ” Aaron starts, face scrunched up in confusion. “We didn’t, not during – ”

“But we did just after.” He answers softly, knowing exactly where Aaron’s train of thought is heading. “Apparently that can happen.”

Aaron scrubs his hands over his face and sighs lowly. 

“And what were you gonna do?” He asks, dropping his hands back down between his knees. “When the kid arrives and looks nothin’ like Chrissie?”

Robert glances away at that, and folds his arms across his chest, a wave of what feels like guilt settling heavy in his stomach. 

“You’re both dark haired.” He starts quietly. “Both blue eyed…”

Aaron snorts a laugh, sarcastic and sneering. “Got it all figured out don’t ya? You’re unbelievable!” 

“Chrissie wants a kid Aaron, what am I supposed to do?” He snaps defensive, the wave of guilt suddenly feeling like an ocean. Aaron shrugs and leans back in his chair.

“Get rid? Don’t tell your wife you’re having her baby when you’re not?” He replies nonchalant and easy; Robert clenches his jaw hard. “You _really_ think she won’t find out? Stuff like this don’t stay a secret Robert, surprised she ain’t suss about it already.”

A quiet knock sounds at the door and Victoria’s head pops through the gap. She looks tired and rumpled, hair failing out of her ponytail in small tendrils around her face. She’s been crying, he can see the red rims around her eyes even from the bed.

“Everything okay in here?” She asks cautiously, a forced smile on her face as she looks between them both. Robert nods and beckons her in.

“They’ve done a scan, everything looks fine.”

He sees his sister visibly relax, her shoulders slumping as the tension drains from her and a tentative, real smile tugs at her lips.

“Good, oh Rob that’s great news,” she says, moving forward and hugging him tight. He rubs at her back soothingly before squeezing her once and disentangling them from the embrace.

“Look why don’t you head home?” He suggests softly, gaze flicking over her face and taking in the exhaustion in her expression. “They’re keepin’ me in overnight anyway and you look shattered.”

“You sure you’ll be alright?” She asks, her brows furrowed with worry. “You shouldn’t be on your own Rob.”

“I’ll stay.” Aaron pipes up quietly; both Robert and Victoria turn to look at him with surprise on their faces.

“See,” he says reassuringly, when he sees nothing but sincerity in Aaron’s eyes. He shifts his gaze back to look up at Victoria and raises his brow encouragingly. “Go home and sleep Vic. I’ll be alright, and I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”

Victoria hesitates for a moment, her lip caught between her teeth, but eventually nods in agreement to his relief. She leans down to hug him one last time, her arms wrapped tight around his shoulders.

“If anything – and I mean _anythin’_ – happens, you’ll call me right?”

He nods, clutching her close and breathing in her comforting scent for a short moment, before letting her go and flashing her a smile; Vic smiles weakly back at him, quickly rubbing at her eyes again as she steps back further away from the bed.

She murmurs a quiet goodbye to Aaron and ducks out through the doorway, closing the door behind her softly. Robert’s smile drops the moment the latch clicks closed, and he allows his eyes to drift back towards Aaron hesitantly.

“You don’t have to stay,” he says quietly, anxiously fiddling with the rough sheets under his hands. Aaron sucks at his lower lip and sighs slowly, shrugging his shoulders.

“Don’t exactly have a choice do I?”

“Well you do.” He answers carefully. “You could leave; pretend none of this ever happened.”

Aaron disbelievingly shakes his head, an unimpressed smile on his face. Robert swallows and looks away from Aaron’s eyes, his stomach sinking unpleasantly.

“Get some sleep Robert,” Aaron says flatly, turning away in his chair to face the wall. Robert opens his mouth to argue, to get out of Aaron all the things he knows Aaron wants to say; but he takes in the rigid lines of Aaron’s shoulders and the clench of his jaw and instead rolls over onto his side, eyes eventually slipping closed in a fitful sleep. 

***** 

It all stops around 6:30 the next morning, and he waits with baited breath for the midwife to give him the okay.

“Test results have all come back clear,” she says flicking through the notes on his chart. “Nothing to indicate any abnormalities, and as the bleeding and cramping has stopped I see no reason not to discharge you.”

He thanks her quietly and shifts up against the pillows; Aaron’s eyes blink slowly, heavy with exhaustion, from where he still remains sat in the chair. The midwife places his chart back down and moves towards the door.

“I’ll get your paperwork sorted now and we can get ready to sign you out,” she says with a tired smile as she leaves. He sags with relief, physically feeling the unease bleed from his body as he slumps into the bed.

“Thank God.” He murmurs quietly, rubbing his hands over his face and trying not to let him emotions get the best of him. He hears Aaron stir beside him, a quiet popping as he cracks his fingers.

“Suppose I’d better call Vic.” Aaron’s voice is rough and scratchy with disuse, and Robert drops his hands back down into his lap as he turns to look at him.

“Don’t. You know what Vic’s like she’ll be over here like a shot and there’s no need.”

“So you want me to lie to your sister now too?” Aaron snaps, his tone however lacking its usual bite as he stares at him through furrowed brows.

“No.” He backtracks, holding his hands up defensively. “No, just – look, there’s no point her coming rushin’ over here when I’m being discharged anyway. It’s early, and I can just let her know I’m out when I get back.”

Aaron chews at his lip but eventually nods slowly in agreement, and pushes himself up to stand. Robert can’t help but watch him appreciatively as he stretches his arms and works out the crick in his neck, his rumpled t-shirt riding up over his hips to reveal a sliver of pale skin. The door to the room reopens as Aaron is slipping his hoodie back on and the midwife from earlier appears with sheets of discharge papers.

It’s a matter of a few minutes before he is dressed back in his own clothes and heading out through the hospital doors towards Aaron’s car. The sun is already up, and the day already warm, as Aaron starts the engine and begins to drive them back towards the village. 

It’s quiet in the car, awkward in a way that he longs to break but knows would be dangerous to try. Instead he settles for watching the way the sunlight plays over Aaron’s face out of the corner of his eye; light and shade highlighting the permanent frown of his brow, the dark stubble soft along his jaw line. He wets his lower lip and forces himself to look away, the tug of longing in his stomach too much to deal with after such a long night.

They pull up outside Home Farm just before half 7, and he sighs mentally in relief that both Chrissie and Lawrence’s cars are still gone from the driveway.

Aaron is still silent as he exits the car and follows Robert to the door. Robert fumbles for his keys, feeling strangely weak and uncoordinated as he slots them into the lock. Aaron hovers at his side, and he can’t help the warm feeling beginning to bloom in his chest at the knowledge that, despite the frosty demeanour, deep down Aaron must still care on some level. 

He walks across the hall and over towards the staircase slowly, a curtain of exhaustion suddenly falling upon him from what feels like out of nowhere. He staggers a little and grabs for the banister, black spots flashing in his vision as he braces himself against the wood and inhales deeply.

“Easy!” Aaron calls, and he feels Aaron’s hands grab at him and pull him upright. “Don’t want to go braining yourself on the stairs when you’ve only just got out of hospital.”

He turns his head to the side and laughs once tiredly, sees Aaron’s weak smile in reply. Aaron adjusts his grip on him, one arm slipping around his waist as he pulls his arm over his shoulder. He does his best not to shiver when he feels Aaron’s fingers skitter warm over the exposed skin on his hip and clutch tight.

It’s a slow trudge up the stairs, Aaron’s hold steady and supportive even when Robert’s heart feels like it’s about to beat right out of his chest. Aaron lowers him gently down onto the bed when they reach his and Chrissie’s room, and he groans as he lies back against the pillows.

“I’ll get you some water,” Aaron says softly as he leaves the room, Robert watches him go under hooded eyes, before kicking his shoes off the end of the bed and settling down into the mattress. 

Aaron returns fairly quickly, and places a glass of water down on the bedside table, drips of condensation running down the side. Robert sees him pause as he straightens at the side of the bed, sleeves pulled down over his hands and lip caught between his teeth. Robert sighs and blinks tiredly, rolling onto his back.

“Get in,” he says lowly, pulling back the covers and slipping under himself. Aaron hesitates and Robert raises his eyebrows encouragingly. 

“Look you’re tired and it’s just to sleep, not like there’s gonna be any funny business.”

Aaron sucks at his lower lip and stares down at the bed with apprehension; Robert continues to watch him until Aaron sighs and kicks off his shoes, climbing into the bed beside him.

“We need to talk,” Aaron says softly, lying on his back with arms folded across his chest. 

Robert rolls onto his side to face him, trailing his eyes over Aaron’s profile, his curved nose and strong jaw line, the plush pout of his mouth, red and chapped. 

“Yeah, but not now.” He murmurs, nuzzling his head into the pillow. “Later.” 

He sees Aaron nod briefly as his eyes drift closed. It’s the last thing he registers before he succumbs to sleep.

*****

The first time he and Aaron had shared a bed, he’d booted Aaron in the shin and left a purpling bruise across the front of his leg.

“Sorry,” he’d said sheepishly as they’d dressed, hair damp from the long shower they’d taken together under the pretence of saving time. Aaron had shrugged and yanked up the zip on his jeans, threading the button through with his thumbs.

“S’alright. I’ve had worse.”

He’d paused at that, shirt cuffs loose around his wrists, and had glanced over at Aaron, taking in his bare chest still rarely on display. The scars were pale pink lines, almost invisible, but Robert knew they were there, knew the feel of them under his tongue and lips.

He’d swallowed and looked away then, busied himself with buttoning his shirt and fastening his belt. Aaron had moved around the room beside him, pulling his t-shirt over his head and hiding his skin back away from view once more.

They’d travelled back in Robert’s car together. He’d felt Aaron eyes on him every now and again, soft and warm, and he’d had to hold back the smile threatening to break out over his face.

He hadn’t known why he’d followed Aaron into the back of the pub really, he’d still been giddy with the memories of the night before and hadn’t wanted to let them go just yet. Aaron had been flirtatious and grinning as they’d stepped inside, and Robert had grabbed him by the waist to pull him close.

“Wanna take this upstairs?” Aaron had murmured, smile wide on his face as he’d nodded his head towards the door. Robert’s stomach had sunk and he’d ducked his head down, loosening his grip.

“Chrissie’s waiting,” he’d said, pulling away and shoving his hands into his pockets. “I’m supposed to meeting her at the bar for lunch.”

He’d seen Aaron’s expression fall, and he’d felt regret at being the one to wipe the unrestricted happiness from his face. 

He’d turned then, sliding past Aaron and through into the pub without looking back, not wanting to see the anger he’d known would be on Aaron’s face. Chrissie had been there waiting and she’d grinned when she’d seen him, eyes bright and blue as she’d leant in to kiss him.

“Next time I’m taking you with me.” He’d murmured with a forced smile, as she’d wrapped her arms around his neck and asked about the meeting through pouted lips.

He’d felt eyes burning into the back of his head, hard and piercing, and so he’d kept his face forward and gaze on Chrissie; knowing that if he’d turned he’d have seen Aaron behind the bar, scorned and bitter and hurting, and all because of him alone.

*****

Chrissie and Lachlan arrive back in a whirlwind of noise and minor agitation not 48 hours later. He plasters on a smile when he greets them at the door, trying not to wince in pain from the migraine that had been pounding at his temples since he’d arrived back from the hospital.

“Oh I have missed you.” Chrissie pouts, cupping his face in her hands and leaning up for a kiss. “I wish you been with us, it’s been like trying to talk to a brick wall.”

“Well I’m here now,” he says reassuringly, wrapping his arms around Chrissie’s waist. “And we can talk to him again, together.”

Chrissie smiles, and leans up to kiss him again before pulling back and reaching for her discarded suitcase, heading for the stairs. 

He sits on the sofa as Chrissie potters about upstairs unpacking her clothes, Lachlan having already disappeared into the depths of his room almost as soon as he’d walked through the door. She reappears just before 12 to suggest taking a trip into the village for lunch and he hesitantly agrees, but not without a failed attempt at persuading her to spend the afternoon making up for lost time instead.

“Anyone would think you hadn’t missed me that much after all.” He provokes, flirtatious grin plastered on his face as Chrissie rolls her eyes and grabs her coat.

“We have all the time in the world for that Robert,” she says unperturbed; however the smile threatening to break out on her face tells a different story. “But right now I’m starving, and not for anything else but food.”

She chooses the café rather than the pub when they reach the village, and Robert thanks his lucky stars as they grab a table at the sofas in the corner. 

He orders them coffee and toasted sandwiches as Chrissie takes a seat at the table, tapping away at her phone. Bob grins wide and overly friendly as he places the 2 Americano’s down on the counter and nods at Chrissie over Robert’s shoulder.

“Busy lady isn’t she? Don’t think she’s put that down since you came in.”

“Yeah well, businesses don’t run themselves. You should know,” he says in reply, picking up the mugs and turning away as Bob chuckles his agreement. He winds his way through the tables and slides down into his own seat, blowing softly on the hot coffee cradled in his hands. He watches Chrissie as she types away furiously at her iPhone before sighing loudly.

“I don’t believe this.” She mutters under her breath, tossing her phone down onto the table. “Looks like I won’t have time for lunch after all. Emergency at the Harrogate salon _again_ , I guess it’s obviously too much to ask those girls to manage things by themselves for more than a week.”

“I’ve told you before, that manager needs to go,” he says with a shrug. Chrissie sighs again and grabs for her handbag.

“I know, I know, but Louise used to be great until that poor excuse for a husband left her for another omega. I’m so sorry to have to cut this short.”

“It’s fine.” Robert replies taking another sip of his coffee. “Go.”

Chrissie smiles and leans forward to place a quick kiss to his lips as she grabs for her phone, promises of a proper dinner later said as she dashes towards the door. 

He cancels Chrissie’s order but stays to eat his own, scrolling through The Times on his phone as he drinks his coffee. Eventually though after around 20 minutes of procrastinating he pulls his jacket back on and pockets his phone, swallowing the last dregs of his drink.

He nods a polite goodbye at Bob as he heads towards the door and back out into the street – immediately walking straight into the path of the one person he’d been hoping to avoid the most.

“Oh so you are alive!” Victoria scolds loudly and he winces, turning to face his sister as she walks with purpose across the street. “Was it so hard to return _any_ of my calls Robert?”

“Vic, I’m sor – ”

“Don’t you _dare_ say you’re sorry Robert Sugden.” She snaps, coming to a halt and folding her arms across her chest. “It’s not like the last time I saw you, you were in _hospital_ or anything!”

He shushes her quickly and glances around, sighing thankfully when it becomes apparent that no one around appears to have heard his little sister’s outburst. 

“Look Vic,” he says quietly, ducking his head. “Can we go somewhere less public alright? We can talk.”

“So _now_ you want to talk?” She drawls annoyed. “What if _I_ don’t want to talk to _you_ right now?”

“Vic, come on!” Robert sighs, running a hand through his hair anxiously. Vic scowls but relents with a huff, nodding over her shoulder in the direction of her house. 

“Fine. But this doesn’t mean we’re good.”

Robert smiles faintly and Victoria rolls her eyes, leading the way over towards the front door.

*****

Vic taps the teaspoon against the rim of her mug before she carries the cups of tea over to the little table in the corner of the kitchen. He murmurs a thank you and Vic raises an eyebrow as she sits down.

“So. Are you going to explain yourself?” She asks pointedly and he nods, playing with the handle of his mug.

“I’m sorry. I know I should have answered, but it’s over now and I just want to forget it happened.”

Vic sighs disbelievingly and shakes her head. 

“Rob you can’t just _forget_ something like that! You nearly lost a _baby_!”

“But I didn’t.” He interrupts, raising his brow and ignoring the flip of worry in his belly at his sister’s words. “Everything’s fine; and everything’s been fine since.” 

Victoria pulls a face and takes a drink of her tea, resting her elbows on the table as she places her mug back down.

“Does Chrissie know?” She asks carefully. He shakes his head and Victoria throws her hands up. “Robert! You need to tell her!”

“She doesn’t need to know, like I said everything is fine. It was just a – a blip.” He protests, shrugging his shoulders as he leans back in his seat, toying with the handle of his mug. “And you can’t tell her either Vic. I mean it.”

Victoria pulls another unhappy face but Robert can tell by her still concerned expression that she won’t say a word. He feels his shoulders relax and takes a sip from his own tea, milky and sugary, just like their mum used to make. 

“So,” Vic says after a moment, glancing down at the table before steadying her gaze at Robert. “Aaron.”

Robert feels his stomach sink and he looks away steeling his jaw, unable to meet his sister’s eyes for fear of what she might see. “Come on Vic, do we really need to do this now?”

“Yes,” she says in a tone that brokers no arguments. “Yes Robert we really do.”

“He’s a mate.” He shrugs with exaggerated nonchalance, and turns back to face Victoria, shaping his face to look as dismissive as possible despite the pulse beginning to thrum apprehensively in the base of his throat. “That’s all there is to it.”

“Really? A mate?” Victoria replies dryly, one sculpted eyebrow raised towards her hairline. “A mate who you call when you think you’re having a _miscarriage_ of all things? Do you really think I’m stupid?”

Robert shuffles in his chair and sighs, gesturing irritated with his hands. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say?!” He says sharply; Vic leans forward over the table slightly and looks directly into his eyes.

“The truth Robert! That’s all anyone _ever_ wants you to say!”

Silence falls over the room, the quiet only broken by the soft drip of the tap. Robert shifts again anxiously in his seat and Victoria breathes out heavily.

“You know you can tell me anything right?” She says softly, leaning forward, her hazel eyes wide and encouraging. Robert swallows and taps his fingers against the edge of the table, biting his lips as he shrugs one shoulder briefly.

“There’s nothing to tell. Aaron’s just a mate.”

Victoria watches him for a moment, eyes darting between his own, before she pulls back, a defeated expression on her face.

“He got you home though okay? After the hospital.”

“Yeah, he did.” He replies, clearing his throat and glancing away from his sister as he tries not to think about Aaron’s warm body curled up alongside him in his bed. Aaron had been gone when he’d finally woken around midday, just cool rumpled sheets and his familiar scent left in his wake. “Dropped me off and then went home.”

Victoria flashes a half hearted smile, and takes a sip from her lukewarm tea.

“He’s a good mate Aaron,” she says thoughtfully. “Do anything for the ones he cares about.”

Robert nods and curls his hands protectively around his own mug, parting his lips as he exhales slowly.

“Yeah. Yeah, he would.”

*****

It’d been pure panic that had made him call Aaron.

She’d been lying there, in amongst the dust and rubble, and he’d just panicked, just pulled out his phone and dialled Aaron’s number before he could even really think about what he was doing.

“You need to come back,” he’d said, voice half broken as he’d looked over at Katie’s motionless body, her blonde hair splayed around her in soft tendrils and her eyes wide open and empty, _dead_. “Please Aaron, it’s bad.”

When Aaron had agreed, he’d pulled himself together a little, started to think with his head. He’d deleted the damning photo and scrolled through to find Aaron’s text, deleting the message despite the flash of betrayal he’d felt at the sight of it.

He’d then heard the sound of Aaron’s car arriving and he’d wiped the phone clear of his fingerprints hastily, before placing it back down on the floor and stepping away slowly.

Aaron had appeared then and Robert had seen his face fall as realisation began to dawn on him. He’d followed him back out into the courtyard and hovered anxiously as Aaron had paced, his face white and eyes red.

“We need to call Andy.” Aaron had choked out, rubbing at his face and smearing tears across his cheeks; Robert stomach had lurched in terror and he’d shook his head hard.

“No.”

“His wife’s _dead_ Robert!” Aaron had shouted, cheeks pinked and eyes wet. “She’d dead and he needs to know!”

He’d managed to talk Aaron round though, hand managed to persuade him that not telling Andy, not calling the police, was for the best. That it would hurt his mum, hurt Andy, that it would mean prison time for the _both_ of them if the police were to ever find out. He’d used his smart mouth to curb Aaron until he’d bent, and he’d battered back the guilt festering in his stomach at doing so until he’d felt almost nothing.

He’d left when Aaron had told him to go, told him to leave for his wedding while he cleaned up the traces of them ever being there, dusted away their fingerprints and footprints and the heated words they’d exchanged before _she’d_ shown up.

As he’d driven back to the village though the shock had started to kick in, the realisation of what he’d just done sinking in his stomach like lead, until he’d had to force himself not to be sick with it. He’d braced himself against the steering wheel when he’d parked up outside the church, and had taken deep breathes as flashes of Katie’s dead stare, and Aaron’s heartbroken face, had flashed behind his eyes. 

‘ _Because I love ya_.’ That’s what Aaron had said, before it’d all gone too far, and as Robert had stepped out of the classic car his lover had found for him, and walked towards the woman who in a matter of hours would be his wife, he’d tried not to think about Aaron alone. Aaron alone up at the farm with _Katie_ and her lifeless body. He’d tried not to think about the fact that he’d taken Aaron’s love, spoken so desperately and sad, and had used it against him.

*****

He waits to go up to the scrapyard to collect the monthly report until Tuesday, knowing full well that Aaron is off Tuesday mornings in lieu of the half day he puts in on a Saturday.

So it’s a surprise when instead of seeing Adam slumped half over the desk, twiddling his thumbs over a jumbled mess of paperwork, he finds Aaron sat there chewing thoughtfully at a pen lid.

“Oh er, where’s Adam?” He says awkwardly, closing the door of the portacabin as he steps fully inside. Aaron looks up from his stack of paperwork and shrugs once, tapping his pen against a half completed form.

“Got the flu or summat. Vic’s looking after him.”

“Oh,” he says again, shuffling on the spot. “Right, well er, I’ve just come for the monthly report.”

Aaron pushes his chair back from the desk and pulls open the filing cabinet, grabbing a folder from inside. He holds it out for Robert to take and Robert steps forward.

“You know,” Aaron says carefully as Robert turns away to head back to the door. “Anyone would think you were avoidin’ me.”

He halts and glances at Aaron over his shoulder. “Well I’m not.”

Aaron huffs a laugh and folds his arms over his chest.

“Really? That why you’re sneakin’ in here on a Tuesday morning for the first time in 2 weeks? Normally we can’t get rid of ya, always pokin’ your nose in where it ain’t wanted.”

“I’ve been busy,” he says with false lightness. “That’s all.”

“Busy doing what? Windin’ up your father-in-law and tellin’ your wife another pack of lies?”

Robert sighs and turns back around fully to face Aaron, shrugging as he drops his arms down by his side.

“What do you want from me Aaron?” He asks tiredly, standing in the centre of the room. Aaron shakes his head disbelievingly, his foot bouncing up and down on the floor.

“You know what I want,” he says pointedly. “I want to talk.”

Robert pulls a nonchalant face, his feet eager to make a run for the door and away from whatever can of worms Aaron is so determined to open. “About what?”

“ _This_!” Aaron hisses, pushing himself up to stand and gesturing with his hand to where Robert’s small, but now visible, bump sticks out from in-between his unbuttoned jacket. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know!”

“What’s there to talk about?” He shrugs, his pulse picking up speed where he can feel it throbbing in his neck. Aaron sneers and shakes his head.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe the fact that you’re havin’ my kid?!”

Robert tenses his jaw, a wash of anger bubbling up inside of him at Aaron’s indignation when he’d made it so clear before that he hadn’t wanted the baby to be his. He steps back closer towards the desk and snaps. “A kid which you don’t even _want_ Aaron!”

Aaron pulls a face and hitches a shoulder dismissively. “That’s not the point.”

“Yes it is!” He shouts, holding his arms out at his sides and stepping closer still. “You don’t want a kid, Chrissie does. Problem’s been solved.”

Aaron laughs without humour and shakes his head again incredulously. 

“You _really_ think this is gonna solve your problems? Seriously? You think Chrissie’s gonna thank you when she finds out you’ve gone and got knocked up by another alpha? You’re deluded mate!”

“Why do you even care?” Robert bites back, a pang of hurt in his chest at Aaron’s cold glare. “Why does it even matter to you when you don’t even want it?”

“Because it’s still my flesh and blood.” Aaron answers sharply, stepping closer into Robert’s personal space. “Because I know what it’s like to grow up in a messed up home and I wouldn’t wish that on _anyone_!”

He scowls offended and steels his shoulders, squaring up to Aaron as his pulse hammers in his throat in anger. “You saying what me and Chrissie have is messed up?” 

Aaron scoffs disbelievingly, biting at his lip.

“What you’d call fucking me behind her back before you even got married normal? Not to mention that tapped stepson of yours – you honestly think that’s a stable home for a kid?”

He shakes his head and readjusts his grip on the folder in his hands as he turns away. Fury at Aaron’s gall to question his suitability and judgement burns away under his skin, and he stalks towards the doorway of the portacabin without so much as a glance back over his shoulder 

“I don’t have to listen to this. Stay out of my way Aaron and I’ll stay out of yours!”

He grasps for the handle roughly, yanking the door wide, he hears Aaron step forward and clenches his jaw. 

“Yeah fat chance of that!” Aaron snaps angrily; Robert slams the door hard behind him.

*****

Vic has an accident and everything goes to hell.

He could kill Adam, could wring him by the throat until his lips turn blue. He’d always had reservations, Vic settling for such a dim-witted, wet blanket of a beta, but he’d held his tongue because she was happy and content.

But now, Vic was very much unhappy, and Adam Barton was very much the cause of that.

He’d shouted and threatened, pushed and pushed to get Adam to do the right thing. Take the blame for the mess that _he’d_ created. But instead Vic – innocent, _naïve_ Vic – had confessed and now everything was fucked. 

He says as much to Andy, stood in the kitchen at Home Farm. Andy nodding his head along at appropriate intervals as Robert rants and sneers, and curses Adam Barton to hell and back. 

His phone chimes loudly from behind him on the kitchen island, midway through one of his well-versed verbal attacks on Adam’s character, not 2 seconds before Andy’s sounds from his jacket pocket.

“It’s Vic,” Andy says, a frown pulling at his brow. Robert turns and grabs his phone from the counter, sliding his thumb over the screen to unlock it. A text glares up at him, words short and sharp and to the point.

“Adam.” He snaps, fingers tightening around his phone. “Says ‘get knotted’. They’re doin’ a runner.”

Andy fumbles for his keys eyes wide and panicked. 

“I’ll drive,” he says and Robert nods shortly, following his brother out of the back door.

Andy drives with his foot to the floor and Robert glares out of the window the whole way. It’s barely 5 minutes before they pull up at the scrapyard, doors slamming closed as he turns to see Aaron sat out front of the portacabin, huge lump of slobbering dog by his feet.

“Where’s Adam?” Andy asks as they walk across the gravel casually; Aaron shrugs and pets at the Rottweiler absently.

“Not here,” he says indifferently, scratching the mutt behind it’s ear. Andy sighs to his right and Robert can see him turning towards him, defeated, from the corner of his eye.

“What about Vic?” He replies sharply, irritation rubbing at him as Aaron continues to focus his full attention on the dog at his side.

“Not here either.” Aaron drawls, adjusting his grip on the mug of tea in his hand before taking a swig. Robert feels his jaw flex uncontrollably and shoves his hand in his pocket for his phone, tapping through to his contacts for Victoria’s name.

A shrill ring cuts through the soft breeze of the yard and he stills, glancing over towards Aaron who shifts in his seat and pulls out a bright yellow phone with a faux puzzled expression. 

“PPI.” He shrugs, stabbing his thumb at the screen once and slipping the mobile back into his hoodie pocket with a wry smile. Robert feels a drop in his stomach followed by a rush of pure anger, vicious and outraged.

“Give it to me!”

Aaron snorts amused and shakes his head. “Yeah, don’t think so.”

“That’s my sister’s property, you have no right to have it!”

“Well she gave it to me.” Aaron shrugs, lips pulled up into a smirk. Robert’s hand clenches into a fist and he breathes heavily.

“Just tell us where they’ve gone Aaron,” Andy says tiredly. “We just wanna make sure Vic’s alright.”

Aaron turns his gaze towards Andy and Robert feels his irritation double when his eyes soften at his brother, their blue gaze regretful and contrite.

“I can’t tell ya.” Aaron replies apologetically. “I’m sorry.”

“You will be.” Robert snaps uncontrollably; Aaron turns his head back towards him, his expression immediately hardening. “When I find Vic and that good for nothin’ best mate of yours, you can believe you will be! He’s ruined Vic’s life and you’re just sat here helping him!”

Aaron huffs and raises an eyebrow, the dog nudges at Aaron’s hand and Aaron scratches at it’s ear.

“And you wonder why she’s run away? Adam loves the bones of her and all you wanna do is spoil that.” Aaron spits nastily. “If I was Vic, I’d run away from ya too!”

He tries not to flinch with hurt, but judging by the flash of satisfaction that springs to Aaron’s face he mustn’t be entirely successful. He swallows back the sting and takes a step forward, straightening himself up to his full height and trying to be as imposing as possible despite his wounded pride.

“Really? He loves Vic so much he’s gone and knocked up some other bird from the village? Because that don’t sound like love to me!”

Aaron pushes himself up to stand abruptly, brow raised and nostrils flared as he steps forward into Robert’s personal space. He braces himself instinctively for a punch, but instead all Aaron does as glare at him, jaw clenched. 

“D’you really wanna go there mate?” Aaron asks lowly, eyes flicking quickly between Robert’s own before dropping down pointedly to look at his now quite obviously rounded stomach. “I mean do you _really_ wanna go there?”

He can almost feel Andy’s confused expression staring at the side of his head. Aaron looks almost smug – daring – as he watches his face, and Robert knows by his mood that Aaron would be more than willing to blow the whole thing right at that very moment. Spit all their dirty secrets until there is nothing left but destruction and upset left in their wake.

“I’m done here.” He mutters eventually, taking a step back and ducking his gaze down away from Aaron’s. He walks towards the car without looking back and eventually he hears Andy’s footsteps behind him on the gravel. He closes the car door with a half-hearted slam and stares back at Aaron through the windscreen.

“What was that all about?” Andy asks. He shakes his head, his glare unwavering even as Aaron turns away and storms back into the portacabin.

“Don’t matter,” he says quietly, jaw hard as he clenches his teeth. Andy remains still to his right and for moment Robert thinks he might push, but then he hears the key turn in the ignition and knows that he’s dodged a bullet for now at least.

*****

When Chrissie had found out about the robbery, it’d been Aaron that had borne the brunt of his anger.

He hadn’t meant to snap at him, hadn’t meant to sneer at him and call him nothing, but he’d been there, vulnerable and hobbling on his crutches and it’d been easy to hurt him. Make him hurt in the same way that he was.

He’d regretted it after, and he’d sat slumped on the sofa in the backroom until Diane had wondered in from the pub, and looked down at him with a stern look on her face.

“You and Aaron had a falling out already?” She’d asked, hands on her hips as she’d stood just inside the doorway. He’d shrugged and swallowed heavily, gazing down at his hands in his lap.

“A bit.” He’d answered quiet and his voice rough from disuse. “I was mad and he just caught me at a bad time, I’ll sort it out with him later.”

“You better,” Diane had said as she’d walked through the room to the kitchen, and flipped down the switch on the kettle to make a brew. “I don’t mind you stayin’ here Robert, but if you and Aaron are gonna be at it like cat and dog then it won’t just be Chas you’ll have to deal with.”

The next day he’d tried. Had made a weak joke to try and lighten the mood, and then when Aaron’s steely expression hadn’t faltered he’d said sorry, said sorry for not being in the mood and had tried to hold him by the waist.

But Aaron had pushed him away, and Robert had felt the sting of hurt as Aaron had hobbled away without a second glance. A further blow of rejection that’d left him simmering with bitterness and irritation.

And so when Lachlan had text him he’d answered yes, despite not being able to think of anything worse than spending his afternoon with a bratty teenager and his combative father-in-law, when he could have been in bed with Aaron; because if he’d come to one conclusion after Aaron’s dismissal, it’d been that he couldn’t lose Chrissie for good either. 

And if that’d meant he’d have to spend the best part of his day cosying up to Lawrence and Lachlan to get back in Chrissie’s good books, he’d do it, because Chrissie was worth it, and he’d been stupid to let his _thing_ with Aaron make him believe otherwise.

*****

Hiring Harriet turns out to be both a blessing and a curse.

His stomach sinks when he first sees the photos – Chrissie pressed up close against Cain Dingle of all people – and his primal omega side ruffles against the feeling of inadequacy that spills up inside him; but he presses it down, locks it away and sees the photos for what they could be: leverage.

He knows it’s risky. Blackmailing _Cain_ is almost certainly asking for all kinds of trouble, but it’ll be worth it if it leads him to Vic. If it also has the added bonus of providing him with some sort of moral high ground with Chrissie, well he won’t turn his nose up at that either.

Cain is furious, practically vibrating with anger, but his desperation to ensure Moira not find out eventually wins and he backs down. But not without a snarled promise to ruin him once Victoria and Adam are back home where they should be.

Chrissie on the other hand cries, her voice wobbling and full of regret.

“It meant nothing I swear,” she says brokenly, tears rolling down her cheek. “I – I was angry and I knew you were hiding something from me. I just assumed the worst and I shouldn’t have.”

“No, you shouldn’t.” He bites out, jaw tense as Chrissie wipes at her eyes. “I mean is that what you want? A hot-headed, alpha numbskull like Cain Dingle? Really?!”

“Of course it isn’t!” Chrissie answers with a half sob. “I want _you_ , I want what we have!”

He pauses, looking away from Chrissie’s red, tearstained face. He moves his hand up to press against his stomach, the bump now pronounced against his palm, and tries not to succumb to the guilt that stirs inside of him at the thought of his next words.

“I’m having your baby Chrissie…”

“I know, I know Robert.” Chrissie breaks, rubbing at her eyes and biting her lip. “And I never, _ever_ should have done what I did, but I was mad and it meant nothing. Can you forgive me?”

“Maybe.” He answers after a moment, turning back to look at his wife. “Maybe in time.”

Chrissie smiles weakly and moves forward, tentatively wrapping her arms around his waist. Robert holds himself still until he feels Chrissie press her face against his neck, and then he relaxes, bringing an arm up over her shoulders.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers thickly. Robert sighs and rubs her back.

“I know.” He murmurs quietly, closing his eyes and holding her close. “I know you are.”

*****

He gets a text from Cain with an address a week later, short and to the point. He grabs his keys and races out of the door without a second thought.

The address is for a reasonable enough hotel and he ditches his car out the front. He skips through reception and follows the directions for the suite number on Cain’s message. 

He finds it without too much fuss and mentally steels himself for a row as he barges though the door; and so it’s for this reason that it takes him a couple of seconds to register the large dust sheet and scattered paint cans, in place of his sister and Adam.

He blinks, brow furrowed in confusion until he hears a sound to his right. He turns instinctively, and briefly registers Cain Dingle’s icy scowl before it all goes black.

*****

When he’d come up with the idea of the robbery he’d thought it would be a simple thing.

It had supposed to have been a simple job. A bit of broken furniture, a few stolen bits and pieces to make it seem legitimate. The hardest bit had supposed to have been having Lawrence locked up in an out building for a bit, until he’d stumble across him and make himself look the hero; but like most of his plans he should have known that something would go pear shaped somewhere along the way.

Chrissie coming back had been the worst thing that could have happened, and when he’d heard her voice he’d never felt his stomach sink so fast in his life.

They’d panicked then; him, Ross, and Ross’ snarky mate. Ross’ mate – Aaron he’d thought he’d said – had decked him accidentally in the furore and he’d glared at him hard as he’d keeled over, clutching at his stomach as Chrissie had screamed. 

Ross had grabbed him then, wrapped an arm around his throat tight, and he’d seen Chrissie start to cry as Aaron had held her back. He’d seen Aaron’s eyes, wide and panicked and so blue from between the slit in his balaclava, and he’d swallowed thickly at the inappropriate tug of appreciation he’d felt, in the pit of his belly at the sight of them. 

“Let him go,” Chrissie had then said brokenly, holding still in Aaron’s grasp as she’d stared across at him. “Take what you want but please just let him go.”

Ross had nudged him in his back and growled the word ‘safe’ in his ear in response. He’d nodded and allowed Ross to push him forward towards the office as Chrissie had shouted and cried behind them.

Ross had been stuffing his pockets with wads of cash when Chrissie had got the best of Aaron, and they’d both hurried through in time to see her rush out of the front room, tears streaming down her face.

Ross and Aaron had legged it then, and Chrissie had clutched at him tight, pressing her face against his throat and scenting him hard.

“Are you okay?” She’d sobbed and he’d nodded, chest heaving as his palms had rubbed soothing circles into her back.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

She’d pulled back then, wiping her eyes, and had curled a hand around his jaw, stroking over his cheek with her thumb as she’d looked up at him with watery eyes.

“They hurt you.” She’d whispered, tears still clinging to her long eyelashes, and he’d shaken his head, trying his best to reassure her.

“I’m fine, honestly.” He’d swallowed, and inhaled deeply, panicked adrenaline still pulsing through his veins and making it hard for him to breath. “I am, it’s nothin’.”

She’d nodded then satisfied and had wiped at her eyes, mouth trembling as she’d started to speak.

“Thank god Lucky wasn’t here, I don’t know what I’d have done if something had happened to him.” She’d cried, and Robert had pulled her back in again, shushing her and pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. She’d nuzzled into him and clutched once more at the tops of his arms, her lips pressed against his open collar as she’d spoken her next words against his skin.

“Where’s dad?”

He’d stilled at that, and his stomach had lurched uncomfortably as Chrissie had pulled back to look up at him, fear at his silence written all over her face.

“Robert?!”

He’d had to hang back, had to drag the search out as to not look suspicious as Chrissie had screamed and cried out for her father. In the end though it hadn’t taken too long, the chosen outbuilding not being too far from the house for convenience, and as Chrissie had burst through the door and dropped to her knees at the sight of Lawrence writhing around on the floor in pain, Robert had known that he’d fucked up. And fucked up badly.

*****

It takes him a second or two realise that he’s trapped, and trapped in the boot of a car at that.

His heart pounds as he shifts in the limited space, wriggling his limbs to see if he can free himself from the rope binding both his legs and arms. When the process proves futile he squirms his hands down and presses both against the bump hidden away behind his suit jacket. It makes him sag in relief, despite rationally knowing that he wouldn’t be able to tell if the baby was okay by touch alone. 

He doesn’t bother shouting, the rocking motion of the car telling him that they are currently moving and that he’d be wasting his breath. He braces himself against the side of the boot with his feet, and rides the swaying out until the car finally stops 5 minutes later.

A door slams at the front of the car and he hears voices cheering in the distance. He kicks at the side of the boot and shouts as loudly as he can with a piece of duct tape covering his mouth, hoping that someone – anyone – can hear him over the whooping and laughter.

He’s halfway to giving up, foot hurting and throat sore, when he finally hears the click of the boot release from above. He stills, preparing himself for Cain’s bulldog-chewing-a-wasp face; but instead of seeing Cain as the light floods in, he sees the last person he’d expected.

Aaron stares back with something akin to horror on his face. He looks good Robert notes, blue tight fitting suit and neatly arranged buttonhole, his hair is styled perfectly and he soon realises that they’re at the wedding. _Vic’s_ wedding.

“Get in the front sunshine.” Cain’s voice growls from somewhere out of sight. Aaron doesn’t move, frozen in place, and Robert watches as Cain appears and grabs Aaron by the elbow shoving him away roughly. 

The boot lid slams down abruptly and Robert swears under his breath as he hears the engine turn over once again.

*****

Cain manhandles him out of the boot by his biceps and he tries his hardest not to stumble as he pulls him along through the entrance to the warehouse. Cain drops him down onto a chair and unties one of his wrists, before fixing the rope back around it behind the back of the chair.

Movement out of the corner of his eye catches Robert’s attention and he turns his gaze to the gap in the shutter. Aaron hovers halfway inside, face pale and chewing at his nails; his eyes flicker quickly between Robert and his uncle untying the ropes from Robert’s ankles.

“Right,” Cain says as he straightens up, rolling up his sleeves and flexing his forearms. “I think me and you are gonna have a little chat.”

He does his best not to wince as Cain rips the tape from his mouth. He licks at his lips, the fowl taste of glue coating them, and glares up at Cain with all the aggravation he can muster. Cain smirks in return.

“You see what’s gonna happen, is you’re gonna give me the code to your phone. And then we’re gonna head back to your gaff and get rid of all copies, and any hard drives you have with those photos on.”

“And what if I don’t?” He rasps, throat still burning and uncomfortable. Cain grins shark-like and Robert swallows back the fear that swells inside of him.

“You’re not stupid,” Cain says pointedly. “You _know_ what happens.”

“You can’t!” Aaron suddenly shouts, his feet slapping hard against the stone floor as he rushes over from his place at the entrance. “Cain you can’t!”

Cain wrinkles his nose and turns toward his nephew, irritation written all over his face. 

“Give me one good reason why not.”

“He’s up the duff ain’t he?” Aaron answers quickly; Robert can see his chest rising and falling rapidly beneath his suit jacket. “You really wanna be responsible for ‘owt that happens?”

“Don’t worry,” Cain says flatly. “I’ll only do damage where people can see.”

Aaron looks over at him panicked, and Robert watches him expressionless. 

“Tell him the code.” 

He raises an eyebrow and evokes all the bravado possible, despite his pulse hammering away anxiously in his throat. “You serious?”

“Just tell him the code Robert!” Aaron shouts, ignoring the dumbfounded stare Cain is shooting the side of his head.

Robert clenches his jaw as Aaron looks back at him unwavering. He sees Cain flex his fist from the corner of his eye and he sighs defeated.

“4217. That’s it.”

Cain pulls Robert’s phone from his pocket and taps at the screen. Aaron’s shoulders sag and he darts behind the chair, fumbling quickly at the ropes around Robert’s wrists.

“You’ve got what you wanted,” Aaron says to his uncle, breath short as he hauls him up from the seat by his waist. “Now we – we just let him go and pretend this whole thing never happened.”

“You are jokin’!” Cain snaps, tossing the phone down onto a crate to his left. “You do know he’s blackmailin’ me?!”

“He’ll stop, won’t ya?”

Aaron adjusts his grasp in Robert’s jacket and tugs at him purposely. Robert turns his head to look at him and is taken aback by the wetness and fear in his eyes. 

“Yeah. Yeah,” Robert says, glancing between Aaron and Cain, and trying not to let the look on Aaron’s face affect him so much. “It’s done, you can have the photos.”

“See, it’s done.” Aaron pushes, turning Robert away slightly and grabbing for the phone. Cain furrows his brow bewildered and takes a menacing step forward.

“Aaron.”

Aaron wraps his arm tighter around Robert’s waist and edges them closer to the shutter. Cain steps closer and Aaron moves faster, his grip almost turning into a drag as their feet move quicker and quicker.

“ _Aaron_!”

“Run!” Aaron shouts and shoves him forward hard. Robert runs as fast as he can on wobbling legs, and doesn’t stop until he reaches the car door. He sees Aaron dart out after him and slam the shutter closed as Cain curses at him; Aaron fastens a padlock through two steel loops and, Robert throws open the passenger car door as he watches Aaron then turn and run away. 

He drops down into the car seat like a stone and Aaron shoves the key into the ignition clumsily, revving the engine loud before putting his foot down and driving them away. Robert sighs and closes his eyes in relief, shoulders slumping back into the seat as the adrenaline drains from him. To his side he hears Aaron do the same.

*****

He had never been more worried than when they’d found Aaron at the bottom of that slope, freezing and delirious, dried blood matting his hair at the temple.

He’d wanted nothing more than to curl Aaron up in his arms, pull him close against his body and keep him warm and safe. Stop him from hurting ever again. It had shocked him a little, the strength of the feeling, the need to protect Aaron from all harm, even if that harm was self inflicted.

He’d had to hold back from climbing in the ambulance alongside him, Chas’ watchful disapproving eye following his every move. His hands had trembled uncontrollably and not just from the cold as he’d watched the paramedics work, fear had settled into his bones and he had felt them rattle with every heavy breath he’d taken.

“I can see why he trusts you,” Chas has said, voice wobbly and hard at the same time. “You care about him.”

He’d huffed at that, Chas words unable to even cover the rush of feeling he’d felt, and he’d shaken his head, eyes wide and distressed.

“I don’t just care about him, I – ”

He’d cut himself off then and swallowed, a whole new crush of fear pressing down on him at the knowledge at what he’d almost admitted, and to Chastity Dingle of all people at that.

When the ambulance had left, Chas climbing into the back after her son, Robert had stood in the clearing for some time after and just breathed. His thoughts had been racing, and to his horror, a small part of him had wished that he could’ve been by Aaron’s side instead of Chas, wished he could’ve been the person who’d had the right to do so and hold his hand tight.

*****

It isn’t until they pass the third possible turning for Emmerdale that he realises they aren’t heading back to the village.

“Where are we going?” He asks tiredly, rolling his head against the headrest to look over at Aaron. Aaron shrugs one shoulder and changes gear smoothly.

“Hospital, obviously,” he says as if Robert is being dense. Robert rolls his eyes and exhales loudly with exasperation.

“Look I’m knackered, but I’m fine, I just wanna go home.”

“You were just beaten up and locked in a boot.” Aaron replies shortly, before he briefly glances over at him and his voice softens. “Robert you need to get checked over.”

He swallows anxiously at the insinuation and finds his hand drifting down to his belly again, his palm curling around the bump protective and careful. 

“I’m fine, everything’s fine.”

“You don’t know that.” Aaron mutters under his breath as he indicates and turns into the carpark of Hotten General. He pulls up in the first free space and Robert climbs out of the car stiffy, his joints having seized up from being still for so long.

The hospital is relatively quiet and he registers at the counter fairly quickly as Aaron hovers by his side. The nurse looks him over with alarm as he explains his story – carrying some boxes and tripped down some stairs – and ushers him towards a separate waiting room full of other pregnant omegas and women. He slumps down in the first spare seat and bites at his lip as Aaron drops down beside him.

“It’s nice,” he says after a few minutes of silence, eyes scanning the room before coming to land on the side of Aaron’s face.

“What is?” Aaron mumbles, twiddling his thumbs in his lap and deliberately avoiding Robert’s gaze.

“Knowing you still care.”

Aaron huffs and shakes his head, his eyes focused pointedly on the wall opposite. “I’m just doin’ the right thing, don’t mean I care.”

Robert fails to suppress a smile, and drops one hand to rub across his stomach when he feels a sharp twinge. He sees Aaron see the movement, and watches as Aaron turns towards him, his brow furrowed in concern.

“You alright?”

He huffs a laugh and nods his head, continuing to rub at his belly as he feels the twinges continue like quick jabs. “Yeah fine, it’s just moving.”

A whirlwind of emotions flickers over Aaron’s face then that Robert can’t read. He steels himself and parts his lips slightly, preparing to broach the topic of conversation he’d been putting off for so long and with so much persistence, despite Aaron’s pushing – when a midwife steps into the room and calls his name.

“Mr Sugden?”

He snaps his mouth closed with a click and turns his head towards her voice. He nods his head at the midwife in response and stands up slowly, stepping forward a few paces. He pauses however when he notices Aaron still sat firmly in his seat to his right, and not looking like he will be moving any time soon.

“You er – you not coming?” Robert asks awkwardly, hesitating halfway between the chairs and the midwife stood in the open doorway. Aaron bites his lip and shakes his head with a shrug.

“Er no I’ll just… wait here.”

He nods dumbly and forces a brief smile of acknowledgement, in spite of the unexpected sinking feeling in his chest. He follows the midwife though into the side room and slides up onto the bed when asked. 

The midwife runs through a list of questions and makes notes as she goes. Eventually she puts down her clipboard and asks him to lift up his shirt, pulling on a pair of gloves as he does so. She stands up, fingers about to press against his skin, when there’s a knock at the door.

“Come in!” The midwife says, straightening up as the handle turns. Aaron appears in the doorway looking abashed and Robert raises an eyebrow at him.

“Sorry, just Vic, she’s been er, calling,” he says, holding up Robert’s phone in his hand and waving it slightly. “Don’t know what you wanted me to say.”

“Just ignore it for now.” He replies, settling back in against the bed. “I’ll call her later.”

“Right.” Aaron nods, slipping the phone back into his trouser pocket. He hesitates in the doorway, biting at his bottom lip again and Robert feels something warm flutter expectantly in his chest.

“Why don’t you take a seat love?” The midwife asks knowingly. Aaron makes to disagree, but his eyes flitter to Robert and whatever he sees there on his face has him pause. He nods eventually, a small twitch of _something_ pulling at his mouth, and drops down into a spare chair by the side of the bed.

The midwife grins at Aaron however and presses her hands back against Robert’s skin, pushing her fingertips along the curve gently. Robert glances over towards Aaron and notes the wide-eyed stare he gives to Robert’s stomach. Realisation washes over him suddenly that the last time Aaron had seen him like this it was nothing more than a small roundness to his lower abdomen, now it is unmistakeable as anything but a baby bump. 

“Not experiencing any pain?” The midwife asks, pulling back and reaching over for the small ultrasound machine to the side. He shakes his head and pulls his gaze away from Aaron.

“No, feels fine.”

“That’s good,” the midwife says absently as she adjusts the settings on the machine and rubs some jelly over the wand. “I’m just going to do a quick ultrasound. I know you have one scheduled next week for your 20 week check-up but I think it’s just best to have a look now.”

The wand is cold as expected and he hisses a breath as she worms it across his skin. The black and grey flickers across the screen to his right, and Robert can’t suppress the grin that breaks out on his face as he sees the image of a baby appear in the centre, much larger and more defined that it had been previously. 

“Everything looks good. Baby’s a good size, moving around a lot too.”

He nods, taking in the image of his child kicking it’s legs for the first time, before turning his head back towards Aaron. Aaron sits hunched over with his chin in his palm, eyes completely focused on the screen in front of him. Robert can see the awe and amazement written all over his face, and it’s that expression that gives him the courage to ask.

“Is it possible to check?” He says, looking over at the midwife once again. “The sex I mean, right now?”

The midwife hums thoughtfully and tilts her head to the side.

“Really I should say no, especially since you have a scan booked for next week. But if you can keep it just between us I suppose there’s no harm in having a quick look.”

He nods in agreement and the midwife adjusts her grip a couple of times on the wand until she gets the correct angle, and then stills, leaning forward and tilting the screen around a little more.

“If you look closely I’m sure you’ll be able to tell,” she laughs softly. “But in case you can’t see it clearly, it looks like this one’s a little boy.”

Robert feels his heart skip unexpectedly and exhales slowly a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. A mix of emotions, ranging from overwhelming happiness to sheer trepidation, fight amongst themselves inside of him and for a moment all he can do is just stare at the screen and breathe. 

That is until he hears a rustle to his left and he looks over at Aaron, a lump swelling in his throat as he sees him rub a hand roughly at his eyes. He reaches out before he can stop himself, and curls his fingers around Aaron’s right hand where it rests against the side of the bed. He squeezes gently and Aaron sniffs, lifting his head back up sharply and staring at Robert, the rims of his eyes slightly reddened but _warm_ to his utter surprise.

Robert smiles at him then, small and secret, and Aaron chews at his lip, glancing away from him quickly and dropping his gaze back down to his knees. Robert’s smile falls, but as he moves to pull away he feels Aaron squeeze his hand back briefly, and a small spark of hope flickers to life in his chest. A spark that he hadn’t, until that moment, felt flicker in there before.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay in getting this up! I've had computer issues the last couple of weeks which put a halt on things. I'm out of the country for a couple of weeks after this weekend so I wanted to get this up before I go. Fingers crossed you all enjoy it and thank you for all the lovely comments so far, you're all wonderful! *blows kisses*

Victoria gets a 12 month ban and a fine, but he has never seen her happier. 

She practically glows with it, ring bright and shining on her finger. He scowls and clenches his jaw but keeps his mouth shut, knowing that any satisfaction he may get from tearing Adam to shreds, would be immediately cancelled out by his sister’s disappointed face.

Instead he forks out for a week’s honeymoon in Cornwall. Vic is teary eyed and ecstatic, Adam nods with a tentative smile.

He’d like to say that he’d done it purely out of the goodwill to see his sister happy and content – which he does, more than anything – however he knows deep down that it’s not fully the case. 

Adam gone means that there’s one less person to deal with at the scrapyard, one less person in his way of _Aaron_ , and right now getting to Aaron is the one thing he wants.

They’d not spoken since that day – Robert not even catching a glimpse of him out in the village – and the radio silence was starting to wear thin.

He’d been quiet on the drive from the hospital, lost deep in his own head in a way Robert had seen many times before. Aaron had dropped him off back at the hotel where Robert had abandoned his car, and driven off after a quick ‘see you later’. After his behaviour at the hospital he had fully expected a text, maybe even a call asking to talk depending on Aaron’s mood, but he’d heard nothing so far.

By Wednesday his nervous anxiety to see Aaron has given way to irritation – and his mood is not improved in the slightest, when Chrissie looks at him apologetically over breakfast, and announces she has a last minute meeting in Leeds.

“Are you serious?” He asks, brow raised in bewilderment. “You’re going to a meeting?!”

“Only this morning,” she says placatingly, her expression rueful. “I tried to reschedule but this is the only time Suzanne can do this week. I’ll still make it in time for the appointment, believe me wild horses couldn’t keep me away.” 

“I thought this was important to you.” He replies steely. “Need I remind you that this was _your_ idea in the first place Chrissie, you were the one who wanted a kid.”

“And I still do!” Chrissie answers, hurt written all over her face. “How can you say something like that? This baby means _everything_ to me!”

His jaw twitches and he shuffles on his stool. 

“You’ve got a funny way of showin’ it. First you stick your tongue down Cain Dingle’s throat, and now you’d rather go to a work meeting instead of a scan.”

Chrissie looks away guiltily, fingers curling around her half empty coffee mug as she toys with it. “I thought you said that you’d forgiven me for that.”

“No I said maybe I could in time.” He snaps. “It’s barely been 3 weeks, so forgive me if I’ve not gotten over it just yet.”

The silence in the kitchen is deafening, Chrissie unable to meet his eyes. She finishes her coffee, placing the mug gently in the sink and turns slowly to face him, upset written all over her face.

“I need to go now,” she says quietly. “But I’ll be there later, I promise you that Robert.”

He nods shortly and Chrissie bites her lip. She pauses for a moment, hesitant to leave under such circumstances, but eventually she heads out of the room, heels clicking loudly on the tiled floor. He sighs and scrubs a hand through his hair, finishing his own coffee in two gulps before pushing back his stool and heading into the office.

He works for a couple of hours, sorting through invoices and new client bookings – willing the time away until the clock ticks 20 past 11, and he can close down his laptop and grab his car keys on the way to the door. 

He drives on autopilot and arrives at the hospital 10 minutes before the appointment. He sits down in the same room he’d found himself in not 6 days ago and glances around at the other occupants. Chrissie isn’t there amongst them yet, and he shakes his head, pulling his phone from his jacket pocket.

“You said you’d be here.” He bites out as soon as Chrissie picks up, he can hear his voice echoing and immediately realises she’s still in her car.

“I’m on my way,” she says hurriedly, voice tinny through the Bluetooth connection. “But there’s been an accident, I’m currently stuck in traffic.”

He laughs humourlessly and rubs at his eyes tiredly, resignation settling into his bones that he’ll be doing this alone. “So much for wild horses then?”

“I can’t control the traffic Robert.” She replies hard. 

“No, but you could’ve controlled that meeting you decided to go to instead!”

Chrissie goes quiet on the end of the line, the sound of the car engine thrumming being the only sign that she is even still there.

“We can always reschedule,” she says finally, tone tentative. “I really don’t want to miss this Robert.”

His jaw flexes unhappily, and he grits his teeth to hold back from snapping too hard. Irritation crawling at his skin again and making him waspish. 

“Well you should have thought of that before you took off to Leeds this morning. I’m here, I’ve registered in with the nurse, it’s too late to change anything.”

A midwife signals out of the corner of his eye and he nods in acknowledgement. 

“I’m being called in, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later.”

“Robert – ”

He hangs up before Chrissie can continue and follows the midwife down the hallway. The procedure ends up being the same as before – a quick check up followed by a scan, during which the midwife officially confirms what he’d been told the previous week.

Towards the end she asks cheerily if he’d like photos to take away and he nods, thinking of Vic’s text the night before, requesting a copy for ‘auntie duties’.

“Yeah can I get 2 copies,” he says, sitting up and readjusting his clothes. He glances at the still image on the screen to his right one more time and gets a flash of Aaron’s awestruck face in his mind. His eyes bright and wide when he thought Robert couldn’t see.

“Er actually.” He interrupts, causing the midwife to pause her tapping at the screen. “Can you make that 3 copies?”

She smiles and prints off an extra. Robert stares at them as he walks back down the corridor, and ignores the 5 missed calls and 11 texts from Chrissie lighting up his phone.

*****

He remembered when Vic was born.

She’d cried a lot. That was his strongest memory. Her crying and crying at all hours of the day, his mum trying to calm her and shushing her gently, singing soft songs to her under her breath. She’d annoyed him, with her crying; that along with her being a _girl_ , when all he’d wanted was a brother to play with and not a little sister that would follow him around, _irritating_ him.

He’d held her a couple of times, when she was soft and new, and he’d been taken aback by how small she was, how fragile. She’d grown though, and quickly, and within a few weeks she’d been peering up at him with big eyes and chubby pink cheeks, fully alert and aware of her surroundings. 

His parents had fussed a lot, had cooed at her a lot and smiled. He’d almost felt a little left out at times, the way they’d looked at her like she was their entire world. But then his mum would turn and look at him and he’d see that she loved him too, that her eyes had shone the same way as they did when she looked at his sister.

One day his mum had asked him to watch the baby for a moment while she’d sorted out the washing. He’d huffed, but sat down on the sofa as asked and had stared out the little girl as she’d bounced herself in her chair. He’d kicked his feet petulantly, knocking at a large teddy bear sat on the floor until it’d fallen over, and suddenly she’d giggled. A sharp, bright sound that had made him raise his eyebrows and blink at her in surprise. 

She’d stared at him, gummy smile making her cheeks squish up under her eyes, and he’d pulled a funny face at her, unable to stop his own smile when she’d done it again; her giggle loud and unabashed in the quiet of the front room.

After that he hadn’t minded her so much, sure she’d still annoyed him with her crying, but she would smile when she saw him and laugh when he’d tried to make her do so. If it’d made him feel warm and fuzzy inside he didn’t admit it, but as she’d grown bigger and bigger he’d realised quite quickly that he’d do anything to keep that smile on her face. Anything to keep her happy.

“You’re a great big brother,” his mother had said one day, crouching down beside him, as he’d tried to get Victoria interested in his Spiderman comic when all she’d wanted to do was chew at a rattle. “I’m so proud of you, Robert.”

And he’d nodded as she’d kissed his hair, ruffling it gently before walking back into the kitchen to finish dinner. Victoria had burbled beside him and he’d bit his lip to hold back a smile. Turning a page in his comic, he’d shuffled closer to her to, eager to point out all his favourite bits with a renewed enthusiasm.

*****

He drives straight to the scrapyard and doesn’t stop to consider doing otherwise.

Jimmy is just walking across the gravel when he pulls up, the only figure in an otherwise empty yard.

“Is Aaron about?” He asks with as much disinterest in his voice as he can muster. Jimmy nods, hands in his pockets, and indicates with his head towards the door of the portacabin.

“Yeah, just inside. Doing some paperwork by the looks of it. Seems he’s had a bit of a morning judging by the shouting I heard on the phone earlier.”

Robert nods and smiles briefly in thanks before heading up the steps to the door. He doesn’t bother knocking and turns the handle, waltzing inside. Aaron is sat at his desk, working through an extremely thick contract Robert notes as he runs his eyes over him appreciatively; he clears his throat once loudly and Aaron turns to look at him.

“Oh, it’s you,” he mumbles, rolling his eyes and going back to the paper in front of him. Robert raises an eyebrow and closes the door shut behind him.

“Nice to see you too.”

“What do you want Robert? I’m busy.” Aaron sighs, picking up a pen and circling something halfway down the current page. Robert takes a step further into the room and perches on the edge of what he knows to be Jimmy’s desk.

“Nothing, was just er, passing,” he says, running his fingers through the back of his hair and then folding his arms across his chest. Aaron glances up at him briefly as he turns over his sheet of paper. 

“Right, well like I said…” He trails off, gesturing to the stack of paperwork in front of him. Robert nods but doesn’t make to leave.

“It was the scan. Today.” He blurts out eventually, unable to bear the stunted silence much longer. Aaron tilts his head but continues reading, not once glancing up from the paper.

“‘Spose that was nice. For you and Chrissie.”

“Chrissie wasn’t there,” he says quickly, leaning harder into the desk. “It was just me.”

He watches as Aaron sighs defeated and slumps back in his chair, tossing his pen down onto the desk. “What d’you want Robert? Why’re you tellin’ me this?”

He shrugs and scuffs his foot against the carpet, toe edging at a loose tile beginning to curl up as it becomes unstuck from the floor. “Just thought you might be interested.”

“Well I’m not.” Aaron replies flatly, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly; Robert scoffs and rolls his eyes, straightening up a little as his shoulders tighten.

“A few weeks ago all you wanted to do was talk about it, and now suddenly you could care less?”

“You were right,” Aaron says with a nod. “It’s none of my business.”

Robert looks away for a moment, before pushing himself back up to stand and steeling himself again from the unexpected sting of Aaron’s words. He steps forward, slipping a hand into his inner jacket pocket and feeling for the folded card he knows is there.

“She was right,” he says loudly, stopping by the side of Aaron’s desk pointedly. “That midwife on Friday. It’s a boy.”

Aaron nods absently and glances back down at his abandoned contract. “That’s… nice I guess. Chrissie will be happy.”

“I got a copy of the scan.” He continues, ignoring Aaron’s words as he pulls the photo from his pocket, folding back the front cover and holding it out. “Have a look.”

Aaron deliberately avoids looking at both the picture and Robert’s face, instead he picks his pen back up and leans his elbows on the desktop. 

“You’re alright thanks.” He mutters and flicks his thumb at the corner of his mouth. Robert lowers his hand and gently places the photo down on the edge of the desk, swallowing back a wash of nerves as he takes a step back.

“Have a look at it later then, you can keep that one,” he says carefully, warily watching Aaron from under his lashes. Aaron frowns, pen pausing in his scribbling, but still doesn’t look up, just continues to stare down at the papers in front of him. 

“Why would I wanna do that?”

“I don’t know.” He answers as lightly as possible, shrugging his shoulders; he glances around the room restlessly, before eventually bringing his gaze back to focus on Aaron. “But I don’t need it back, I’ve got my own copy.” 

Aaron doesn’t reply, doesn’t even acknowledge that he’d spoken at all. He waits though, hopeful, for a brief moment, and sighs in defeat when any response whatsoever doesn’t appear to be forthcoming.

“Give me a call when you’re ready to talk,” he says then softly, slipping his hands into his jacket pockets and turning away to the door. He hesitates again halfway through the doorway, hoping for _anything_ , even just a flicker of eyes; but Aaron doesn’t make a sound, and Robert reluctantly closes the door behind him.

*****

When he’d woken up in the hotel room, Chrissie curled up contently at his side, he’d known that he would need to make it up to Aaron, and bigtime.

They’d headed back to the village early, him making an excuse of a meeting first thing. He’d dropped Chrissie back at Home Farm, and had kissed her softly when she’d pouted at him leaving.

“Do you really have to go?” She’d sulked and he’d nodded, running his hand through her hair once apologetically.

“Afraid so.” He’d sighed, pulling away and sitting back in his seat, resting his hands on the steering wheel. “He’s an important client, could mean a lot of business for us.”

She’d nodded, flashing a small smile and had eventually headed inside the house. He’d exhaled heavily as he’d watched her go, before turning the ignition on once more and heading down towards the village with one purpose in mind. 

He’d waited at the portacabin for a while before Aaron had shown up, hunched down at Adam’s desk and trying not to shiver with the cold of an early February morning. When the door had opened he’d jumped a little, before trying to appear nonchalant in the face of Aaron’s rolling eyes. 

“You know, if you wanna sneak in here try not leavin’ the car out front,” Aaron had said walking across to his desk. Robert had shifted in his chair and cleared his throat, flexing his chilled fingers in the pockets of his coat.

“I wanted to apologise, for yesterday.”

Aaron had shrugged and started pulling at his gloves. “Nout to apologise for, sure you and Chrissie had a good time.”

He’d glanced down at his shoes awkwardly and licked his lower lip, regret sitting heavy like lead in his stomach.

“Don’t be like that…”

“Like what?” Aaron had snapped, tossing his gloves down onto the desk. Robert had looked back up and taken in his hard eyes and steely jaw, bobble hat pulled down over what he knew was a furrowed brow. “I’m not _bein’_ like anything.”

“I’ll make it up to you,” he’d said softly and Aaron had snorted, shaking his head.

“Don’t bother.” Aaron had muttered, turning away towards the filing cabinet. “Cause this? This is done.”

Robert had clenched his jaw and pushed himself up out of the chair, moving to stand behind Aaron while he rifled through the draw.

“You don’t mean that.”

Aaron had huffed and slammed the draw shut. He’d turned sharply and defiantly tilted his head up, his blue eyes blazing and angry.

“Oh really?” He’d asked, brow raising under the hem of his hat. “Cause I’ll tell you somethin’ Robert, I don’t like ya and I definitely don’t fancy ya anymore, so just do one before I make you!”

Robert had rocked back on his heels taken aback, Aaron’s words hitting him like a thump to the chest. He’d blinked and looked away, hesitating until he’d shaken his head and turned back towards Aaron, unwilling to leave. 

“What and I’m supposed to believe that when I walk out that door you won’t be calling or textin’ me begging me to come back?”

Aaron’s head had shaken and Robert had swallowed, glancing away from his determined face as he’d headed for the door, resignation settling deep into his bones.

*****

“Where have you been?” Chrissie barks as soon as he enters the living room. “The appointment was 3 hours ago, I’ve been worried sick!”

“I went for a drive.” He answers flatly, dropping down to sit on the sofa. “Needed some time.”

Chrissie’s face immediately falls. “Is everything okay with the baby?”

“The baby’s fine, but you’d know that if you’d shown up.” He snaps, jaw flexing in irritation for a moment before he sighs and rubs a hand through his hair. “It’s a boy by the way.”

“You found out the sex without me?” Chrissie replies, hurt lacing her voice. Robert raises his brow and shrugs his shoulders.

“We agreed that’s what we were going to do!” He answers incredulously. “This was the last scan, it’s not my fault you weren’t there!”

Chrissie’s lower lip trembles and Robert shakes his head. He rises to his feet and digs into his jacket pocket, pulling out the scan and tossing it onto the coffee table.

“There take a look, but if you want a copy you’ll have to get your own, that’s mine.”

Chrissie bends down to pick up the photo and holds it between her thumb and index finger, Robert turns away and makes for the door.

“Robert – ” Chrissie starts, however her voice gets cut by the sound of the slamming door.

*****

Vic is tanned and beaming as she leans against the bar, her hair loosely curled making her look young and carefree.

“Robert!” She shouts as she turns and catches sight of him as he walks through the door. Robert smiles and Vic walks over, pulling him into a hug.

“How is the bestest brother ever?” She grins, squeezing his shoulders. Robert laughs and pulls back as she lets go.

“I take it you had a good time?”

“It was brilliant.” She gushes, walking alongside him as he walks over to the bar. “I was just showing Diane the photos.”

“She was.” Diane nods, placing a glass of orange juice down in front of him. “All 5 packets of them.”

He smiles and takes a sip from his glass. Victoria nudges at his arm before her eyes suddenly widen and she reaches for her handbag.

“I almost forgot,” she says, rummaging around before pulling out a slightly battered cardboard bag and passing it over. “I got you a present. Well it’s sort of for you. And before you say it, I know you’re supposed to wait for Christening’s to give these sorts of things, but I saw it and I couldn’t help myself.”

He raises an eyebrow and carefully reaches into the bag, pulling out a heavy rectangle shaped present wrapped in tissue. He gently rips into the tissue to reveal a silver box, shell imprints worked all along the lid amongst swirling wave patterns.

“It’s a baby memory box,” she says. “I wasn’t sure if you’d got something like it already – ”

“It’s lovely, seriously Vic it’s great.” Robert grins, gently opening the lid and peeking at the deep plum velvet inside. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. All part of the auntie duties!”

“Speaking of auntie duties…” He trails off, wrapping the box back up and slotting it back into the bag. “I have something for you too from Wednesday.”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a copy of the scan, handing it over to his sister with a lopsided smile. The sound of the door to the entrance of the pub opening registers in his head, but he doesn’t bother to look.

“Oh Robert!” Victoria coos, eyes welling up as she looks at the photo. “Diane look, it’s my little niece or nephew.”

“Nephew.” He blurts, failing to hold back his smile as Vic turns her eyes back to him with joy written all over her face. “He’s your nephew.”

“And you said you weren’t goin’ to find out!” She scolds happily, tapping Robert’s upper arm with false outrage. He ducks away from her swipe and picks up his orange juice.

“Hey, what’s going on here?” Adam suddenly pipes up, wrapping his arms around Vic’s waist and pressing a kiss to the side of her head. Robert successfully manages to hold back on rolling his eyes.

“Babe look!” Victoria replies excitedly, turning to look at Adam over her shoulder. “It’s my nephew, isn’t he gorgeous?”

“Well he just looks like a few blobs on there,” Adam says with a smile and Vic swats at him. Robert turns further around to look at them both and does a double take when he sees Aaron stood just to Adam’s left, expression unreadable.

“Can I get either of you boys a drink?” Diane pipes up gesturing with an empty pint glass in each hand. Both Adam and Aaron nod and Diane moves away to pour them both a pint.

“It’s so exciting.” Vic continues, peering adoringly at the photo before turning to Aaron now in her line of sight. “Aaron look, he’s so cute!”

Robert watches as Aaron briefly glances at the photo and nods half heartedly, his jaw twitching as he deliberately avoids Robert’s gaze.

“Why don’t you lot go sit down and I’ll bring you your drinks over.” Diane says, gesturing over to a free table in the centre of the room.

“You joinin’ us?” Vic asks brightly, nodding her head over to where Adam and Aaron are pulling their seats out and sitting down. He eyes the scan still clutched in Vic’s hand and sucks at his lip.

“Yeah why not. You still haven’t shown me those holiday photo’s yet,” he says and Vic grins widely. She nudges him gently and he follows her over to the table, taking the only available seat left beside Aaron. He sees Aaron shift anxiously out of the corner of his eye but doesn’t acknowledge him.

As soon as Diane brings the drinks over Victoria lays out the photos, a 5 minute story seemingly accompanying each one. Robert sips at his orange juice as he nods along with his sister’s words, and shrugs out of his jacket, leaving him in just his thin jumper. He sees the movement catch Aaron’s attention briefly mid conversation with Adam, and grows aware of Aaron’s eyes continuing to flash back unconsciously to where the material of his jumper stretches across the bump. He takes the photo Vic hands him and pointedly with his free hand rubs slowly over his stomach.

“Andy!” Vic suddenly shouts, waving an arm in the air. Robert turns to look in the direction of her eyeline and sees his brother making his way over with a pint in hand.

“Alright Vic?” Andy smiles. “Glad to be back?”

“Well you know it was _such_ a chore being waited on hand and foot all day…” Victoria sighs and Adam snorts.

“Yeah right babe, she was on the phone to room service more than I was!”

A brief chuckle of laughter goes around the table until Andy gestures towards Adam and speaks up.

“You spoke to Moira yet today?” 

Adam takes a drink from his pint and shakes his head. “Nah mate, not yet. Was gonna go up and see her later, why?”

“She’s havin’ a new grain auger delivered tomorrow,” Andy says, burying his empty hand in his coat pocket. “Wondered if you be around to help out installing it?” 

“Ah man I would but I’ve got a meeting with a contractor in Newcastle.” Adam sighs, rubbing at his beard before looking over at Aaron and kicking at his shin under the table with a grin. “Aaron’s got nout on though don’t you mate? He’s gonna be sittin’ on his arse all day.”

Aaron pulls a sarcastic face back in reply, but turns to look at Andy over his shoulder and nods. “Yeah I can come give you a hand if you want, like he said got nout on so…”

Andy smiles and nods. “Right cheers, I’ll let Moira know.”

Andy moves to walk away and Robert’s eyes flash between him and Aaron, an idea popping into his head too quickly to stop him blurting out for his brother.

“Andy! You know if you need a couple of extra hands I’ve got nothin’ on tomorrow either.”

Andy stops and turns back, brow raised in disbelieve. “You, Rob? Really? Offerin’ to do manual labour?”

Robert shrugs, defiantly keeping his eyes on Andy. “Yeah why not?”

“For one when was the last time you even saw an auger?”

“You do realise Lawrence runs an agricultural machinery company right?” He answers meaningfully; he ignores the feeling of eyes boring holes in the side of his head. 

Andy snorts amused and shakes his head. “Yeah and I doubt you were working maintenance on it all.”

Robert sighs and rolls his eyes. 

“Look d’you want help or not?”

Andy holds his hands up placatingly and nods. “If you really want to help out Rob then that’d be great yeah. I’ve gotta go but I’ll see you both at 9 tomorrow if that’s alright?”

Robert nods in reply, and turns back in his seat. Victoria looks across at him with a frown on her face.

“Are you sure that a good idea?” She asks lowly. “You shouldn’t be doing stuff like that, especially considering – ”

“I’m not an invalid Vic.” He cuts her off before she can start, glancing briefly in Aaron’s direction and feeling relief at seeing him engrossed in something on Adam’s phone. “Look I’ll just be sitting about shoving bolts into place it’s fine. We both know Andy’s the brawn rather than the brains out of the two of us.”

Vic rolls her eyes but backs down and Robert leans back in his chair. He picks up his half empty glass and takes a drink as Vic pulls out another stack of photos; he watches as Aaron smiles at a daft joke of Adam’s out of the corner of his eye, and tries not to think too much about the warmth it brings to his chest.

*****

Getting Chrissie to leave had been hard.

She’d stewed on the idea of them all getting away overnight. Her unnecessary concerns for Lachlan’s safety – as well as Robert’s – making her determined that they should leave for a while, and she’d made her intentions for them clear to Lawrence the following morning in the office. 

Lawrence, unsurprisingly, had been fully onboard, and Robert had grimaced through a smile as they’d discussed plans about escaping to the coast for a while, his phone glowing in his hand with a short text from Aaron asking if he was okay and saying again that he was sorry.

He’d gone along with it all day, all the while texting Aaron and concocting some excuse for Chrissie in his head. When he’d seen Aaron at Vic’s party he’d known that he couldn’t leave, couldn’t run off for days while Aaron was still so fragile, but at least willing and open to him for the first time in weeks. Not even Chas interfering had put him off from doing otherwise.

So when Chrissie had dragged them home, her tolerance for the village muttering about Lachlan under their breath used up for the day, he’d prepared himself for it. Prepared himself for shutting Chrissie’s plan down and quickly.

She’d protested at first, making noise about how it wasn’t safe and how they needed to be strong _together_ , united for Lachlan, but eventually he’d persuaded her to go and leave him behind. A few soft words about it being the last time her, Lawrence and Lachlan would have time just the 3 of them before they started a family, murmured in her ear to sweeten her up. 

He’d dashed back down to the village after, eager to tell Aaron about his plan and see that warm look again in his eyes. What he hadn’t expected though when he’d followed Aaron into the men’s, was Aaron’s anger and upset, his face reddened and his eyes full of betrayal.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he’s said, once Aaron had snapped and snarled about him leaving and Chas’ twisted words about him pulling his money from the scrapyard. “I’m stayin’ here. To be with _you_.”

And Aaron had blinked, his bullishness immediately falling away and leaving him soft and uncertain. Robert’s chest had warmed and he’d stepped closer, pulling Aaron in and kissing him softly, softer than he’d ever kissed him before.

“Tomorrow,” he’d said as he’d backed away towards the door, and Aaron had nodded, toying with his lip to stop his smile. 

When he’d got back to Home Farm Chrissie had been clingy and mawkish, and had cuddled up to him close when he’d met her in bed.

“Do you really have to stay?” She had asked though sullenly, wrapping her arms over his chest as she’d rested her head on his shoulder. “It’s not too late to change your mind.”

“The 3 of you need time together,” he’d said, adjusting his head against the pillows as she’d sighed against his collarbone. “We both know it. And someone does need to keep an eye on this place, it makes sense.”

Chrissie had hummed reluctantly and nuzzled her temple against the base of his throat. 

“But you’ve only just had your heat, it doesn’t feel right to leave you now.”

He’d rolled his eyes a little at the ceiling and slid his hand up to stroke soothingly through the back of her hair. 

“We won’t know for a few weeks yet. It’s only been 10 days and you know what the consultant said, it’s gonna take time, for _both_ of us.” He’d replied, trying to be as sympathetic as possible. “Go spend time with Lachlan and your dad, and then when you come back, hopefully we’ll have some good news to look forward to.”

She’d pushed herself up on her elbows against his chest and he’d looked up at her, hand still cupped around the back of her head and she’d stared down at him, a half smile on her lips.

“Okay. _But_ I’ll miss you, everyday.”

He’d smiled back at her in reply and she’d leant down to kiss at his mouth meaningfully.

“I love you.” She’d whispered into the kiss, slipping her hand up to curl around his jaw. Robert had kissed her back chastely and rubbed circles into her nape.

“Love you too.”

*****

He arrives at Butler’s for 8:50 and is immediately met with Andy’s astounded face.

“You know I never actually expected you to show up.” Andy grins, stepping back as he lets Robert in through the door. Robert buries his hands in his jeans pockets and shrugs.

“Said I would didn’t I? Can’t have you think I can’t hack it.”

Andy nods in acknowledgement, and gestures with his thumb towards the storage cupboard as he walks backwards. “Well better get you some overalls if you’re insistin’ on sticking around.”

Robert shrugs off his outer jacket as he listens to Andy rummage around for a spare set of overalls. Andy tosses him a bundle of fabric from across the other side of the room, and he kicks off his shoes, stepping into the legs and wiggling his arms inside. He’s just finishing up fastening the poppers down the front when the front door opens and Aaron steps in.

“Alright,” he says to Andy, nodding his head in greeting and seemingly failing to notice Robert at the far side of the kitchen. He’s already dressed in a pair of his old blue overalls, legs tucked into a well-worn pair of boots and sleeves rolled up his arms; Robert swallows thickly as he catches the strong line of tendons flex under the skin of his forearm. 

“Aaron, glad you’re here.” Andy smirks, folding his arms across his waist. “At least I’ll have somebody to back me up on the miracle that is Robert Sugden doin’ farm work by choice.”

Aaron’s head snaps abruptly to his right and Robert watches as his eyes widen in shock, until he manages to reign his expression back in and his face becomes one of false disinterest. 

“Yeah well.” Aaron shrugs, turning away from Robert and back to face Andy. “Just helpin’ Adam out. You know he’d be here otherwise.”

Andy nods and steps forward, clapping Aaron on the shoulder as he walks to the door. 

“Right, well ready when you are lads!” He calls, heading outside without checking behind him to see if he is being followed. 

Aaron glances once in Robert’s direction, his jaw twitching, before he ducks his head and follows Andy out into the yard. Robert sighs and rubs at the side of his face, taking a second to prepare himself for what he knows will be a long slog of a day ahead.

*****

The sun beats down heavily on the back of his neck and he realises quite quickly that he probably should have put sunscreen on his pasty, indoor skin. 

Andy and Aaron he notices are suffering no such issue, both warm skinned and slightly tanned in that way that only comes from hours spent working outside in the summer. Aside from the slight flush to the apples of Aaron’s cheeks, as he lugs a chunk of scrap towards the van, Robert wouldn’t be any the wiser to any discomfort he might be feeling in the late summer heat.

“How you getting on Rob?!” Andy shouts from across the yard, helping Aaron to secure down the last of the old auger on the back of the van. Robert squints up at him against the sun, and nods once from his stool in front of the new heap of machinery.

“Piece of piss mate,” he says cockily, gesturing with an oil stained wrench to the half-connected system in front of him. Andy laughs and shakes his head, wiping his hands off on his overalls as he walks back over.

“So you’ll be tradin’ in that cushy office job of yours sometime soon then?” He ribs, pausing at Robert’s left and placing his hands on his hips. Robert snorts and leans back, grabbing a rag from the floor and wiping the worst of the oil from his fingers.

“I mean as much as I’d love to,” Robert starts, looking up at Andy with a smirk. “I think it’s only right that I leave you with _some_ work to do. Wouldn’t want to steal all your thunder.”

Andy shakes his head amused, and both turn to look over their shoulders when the sound of a car pulling up breaks through the quiet of the farm. The red SUV pulls up alongside where Aaron is still stood securing the last of the straps down, and he rolls his eyes when he sees who the driver is. 

“You alright Paddy?” Andy calls and Paddy looks over with a nod and a wave. Robert watches as Paddy shoulders his bag and moves over towards Aaron who is just finishing up with the van.

“Moira never mentioned that Paddy was comin’ up today,” Andy says absently and Robert huffs with amusement, dropping the wrench and cloth down onto the ground and pushing himself up to stand. 

“Well, why don’t we go ask then?” He asks and Andy nods, turning to walk across the yard. He holds back a smirk as he catches sight of Aaron’s furrowed brow and irritated expression as Paddy talks to him animatedly. 

“Didn’t think we was seein’ you until tomorrow Paddy,” Andy says loudly and Paddy turns abruptly; Robert sees his mouth snap shut and reigns in his instinct to roll his eyes.

“Yeah! Yeah well, thought I’d make a head start on the herd today.” Paddy splutters, nodding his head as if to convince himself of his own lie. “Actually, if I could borrow Aaron for a couple of hours to help out that would be great.”

Aaron rolls his eyes behind Paddy’s back, and Robert sees his jaw twitching with annoyance out of the corner of his eye. Andy folds his arms beside him and nods thoughtfully.

“I don’t mind giving you a hand,” Andy says. “I know which ones Moira wants done first anyway. Besides these pair have got things covered down here, auger’s nearly done now.”

Paddy’s face falls minutely and Robert has to tighten his mouth shut against the smug grin that threatens to break out.

“Only if you’re sure? I mean I thought you’d want to see it through, and Aaron – well Aaron’s good with dumb animals.” Paddy shifts his gaze away from Andy to Robert for the first time; his eyes show nothing but disgust behind his thin glasses and Robert draws himself up to his full height to stare him down.

“I’m sure.” Andy replies with a smile, oblivious as always as he steps forward and claps Paddy on the arm, steering him away. “Be back in a bit lads, try not to get in any trouble eh?!”

Robert smirks as Andy leads Paddy across the yard, Paddy glancing back intermittently with a half distressed look on his face. He turns to look at Aaron and raises an eyebrow at Aaron’s tense expression.

“Let’s just get it done.” Aaron grumbles out, turning away and walking over to the auger. Robert watches him for a moment, lip caught between his teeth considering as he takes in the way Aaron’s back moves under the thin material of his overalls. Aaron glances over his shoulder for the briefest moment and Robert feels his feet move to follow Aaron without conscious thought.

*****

Aaron had been nervous and skittish when he’d shown up at Home Farm.

He’d flittered around a bit like an old woman, uneasy and unsettled; until Robert had passed him a 6 pack of cans and a stack of takeaway menus, and shoved him down to sit on the sofa while he searched through Sky Sports to find a decent football match for them to watch.

After that he’d calmed down, relaxed into it, and stopped asking Robert if it was alright to use the kettle or take a beer from the fridge.

It’d been domestic, and Robert had found himself enjoying it much more than he’d expected. They’d settled into some sort of routine fairly quickly: shared morning showers, work, takeaway and beer for tea, and slow, wanton sex before bed. It’d been _normal_ , shockingly normal and natural, and he’d found himself getting lost in the moment far too often.

“Budge up,” Aaron had said a couple of days in as he’d headed back in from the kitchen with a beer in hand. Robert had shifted from his sprawl across the sofa, bending his legs as Aaron had dropped down onto the cushions, before laying his legs back down over Aaron’s lap with a smirk.

“D’ya mind?” Aaron had grumbled, but his lips had twitched at the corners and Robert had wiggled his toes in response. 

Aaron had curled his fingers around his ankle after a while, his thumb rubbing small circles into the bone, and Robert had hummed approvingly, settling into Aaron’s touch.

When they’d had sex that night, the lights off and wrapped close in his and Chrissie’s bed, Robert had hitched his legs higher around Aaron’s waist and Aaron had panted hard against his throat. When he’d come he’d dug his fingernails into Aaron’s shoulder and gasped his name like a curse.

*****

They work in silence, nothing but the sound of tools clinking and soft breaths to break the quiet.

He sits back on his stool in front of the main section of the auger as Aaron lounges on the floor to his left, bolts strewn about him as he works on a long section of pipe. Robert watches him intently as he tightens in a bolt of his own with a screwdriver; which is why he doesn’t anticipate the slip until it’s too late.

“ _Fuck_!” He yelps, dropping the screwdriver instinctively as he grasps at his hand, blood now pouring from the large gash running across his palm from thumb to wrist. He hears the sound of tools dropping but still jumps slightly when warm, calloused hands wrap around his own.

“Jesus Robert.” Aaron hisses as he crouches down. “Watch what you’re doin’!”

“Fuck that hurts.” Robert gasps as Aaron turns their joined hands to get a better look at the cut. Aaron shakes his head and with his left hand tugs at Robert’s sleeve.

“Come on, need to get this cleaned up.”

He follows Aaron up and back into the house, Aaron keeping a hold of his overall sleeve the whole time. He lets go to grab the first aid kit from one of the upper cupboards and Robert leans back against the counter by the sink.

“Stick it under the tap then.” Aaron grunts as he grabs at a few bandages and antiseptic wipes, he tries to sound collected but Robert can hear the undercurrent of concern in his voice. He turns the tap on slowly and hisses as he allows the cold water to run across the wound, the water splashing rusty red into the bowl of the sink.

“Here,” Aaron says quietly, gently taking Robert’s hand and pulling it out from under the stream of water. He rips open a wipe and carefully dabs at the cut; Robert winces at the sting but holds still as he watches Aaron work, a furrow marring the centre of his brow as he narrows his eyes in concentration.

Aaron presses a cotton pad against the flat of Robert’s hand eventually and reaches for the gauze bandage. He wraps the bandage over the pad to hold it secure, his deft fingers working gently, and Robert can’t suppress the shiver that breaks over him at the feel of Aaron’s hands back touching his skin. 

Aaron looks up at him briefly as he finishes tying the knot off and Robert flashes him a weak smile in thanks, flexing his fingers gingerly under Aaron’s own. Aaron pauses, Robert’s hand still held in his own – as if only just noticing their proximity – and Robert holds his breath as Aaron stares at him, his eyes flickering between Robert’s own before dropping to look at his mouth.

“Aaron,” he says softly, shifting minutely closer as Aaron’s gaze drags back up to meet his eyes once more. Aaron licks his lips once and Robert’s mouth parts in anticipation as they lean in closer and closer – 

“It’s in here somewhere! I know it is!” Andy’s booming voice sounds as the front door bangs open. Aaron jumps away abruptly, dropping Robert’s hand like a hot potato, and he grimaces as pain shoots across his palm. 

“Look, told ya it’d be here.” Andy continues as he walks over towards the table, looking back over his shoulder at Paddy stood in the doorway. Robert scowls and Paddy doesn’t look overly impressed either as he eyes them both, Aaron’s poor attempt at acting innocent being about as subtle as a brick to the head. 

Andy steps back from the table, clutching a small zipped bag in his hand, and notices for the first time Robert stood by the sink. His brow furrows when he takes in the spread of bloodied wipes and bandages. 

“You alright bro?”

He nods and cautiously raises his bandaged hand. 

“Yeah, yeah. Just had a little slip with the screwdriver, no big deal,” he says with a shrug. Andy nods and flashes a small smile.

“Bet you wish you had spent the day in the office now then aye?” Andy replies, before gesturing towards the door with the bag. “Me and Paddy should be done in about half an hour, and then I’ll come back and help finish up if that’s alright with you lads?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Robert answers when he realises Aaron is otherwise preoccupied in a silent conversation with Paddy, pursed lips and scowls the only language exchanged. Andy turns back towards the door, and Paddy drops his tense expression immediately, reluctantly having to step back outside to allow Andy out. 

The door closes and he looks over towards Aaron. His jaw is still clenched but his expression is more annoyed rather than angry. Robert watches him carefully and eventually Aaron sighs, slumping against the counter rubbing his palm across his face; he drags his fingers down over his mouth and turns his head a little to the left to meet Robert’s steady gaze.

“Come on.” Aaron murmurs after a moment, pushing himself up straight and nodding towards the door. “Let’s get it over with.”

***** 

When Chrissie had mentioned the wedding, he’d felt something squirm unpleasantly in his stomach.

It’d been unexpected and surprising, and it’d had him jumping to his feet and grabbing his jumper from the living room floor before he could even really think about it. 

He made up some story about meeting Vic for a drink and all but ran from the house, leaving Chrissie pouting and half-dressed on the sofa.

He’d been twitchy on the drive down to the village, fingers tapping against the leather of the steering wheel and biting at his lip as he navigated through the country lanes at speed. When he’d pulled into the village, he’d driven straight for the pub, and pulled up abruptly when he’d seen Aaron dart out the front door of The Woolpack and stalk across the road to the garage.

He’d followed him without a second thought, heart pounding in his chest as he tried not to think about all the things he should say to Aaron, all the things he _shouldn’t_ do. In the end though he’d had to wait, and wait some time at that, while Aaron had dealt with the overly chatty customer who quite clearly didn’t understand the words ‘closing time’.

Eventually though the customer had driven off, and from his hiding place in amongst the trees, Robert had seen Aaron duck out to lock the front of the garage.

“Thought he’d never leave,” he said, charming grin on his face as he’d stepped out of the shadows, hands in his jacket pockets. Aaron had turned to look at him sharply over his shoulder, before rolling his eyes and ducking in through the small door. 

“What d’ya want Robert?” He’d grunted tossing his keys onto the counter as he’d walked towards the office. Robert had followed him inside and hovered beside the car in the middle of the garage.

“I came to apologise. For earlier.”

Aaron had shrugged and stepped back out of the office, pulling a dismissive face as he’d nodded back over towards the door. “Nout to apologise for. Now you can go.”

Robert had hesitated, but instead of leaving as asked, he’d found himself stepping closer, ignoring the roll of Aaron’s eyes and the following brush off he’d received as Aaron had pushed past him.

When he’d pushed Aaron up against the car and seen the look in his eyes, he’d known there was no way he’d have been able to walk away again; and when he’d tasted Aaron’s mouth, felt the tips of his fingers tugging at the hem of his jumper desperately, he’d moaned loud and heavy.

They’d clumsily found their way into the back seat of the car, Robert shoving Aaron inside and down onto his back as he’d straddled him. Aaron had grabbed for his belt and undone it with ease, yanking at his zip as Robert had reached between them both to make a start on Aaron’s own jeans.

He’d groaned when Aaron had palmed him through his underwear, slow and teasing, and when he’d had enough he’d batted Aaron’s hand away and shoved his clothes down around his thighs, grasping the both of them in hand and making Aaron writhe.

It’d been quick and dirty, not much more than a desperate fumble in the back of a stranger’s broken car, but he’d been wrecked and keening when he’d come, mouth hovering above Aaron’s as he’d gasped and sighed through the aftershocks. Afterwards Aaron had grabbed a semi clean dust rag from off the floor and passed it to him, and he’d wiped his hand off quickly. He’d slipped out of the car then and grabbed for his jumper; his hands had trembled as he’d wrestled to turn the sleeves back out the right way.

“So, this was just a one off then,” Aaron had said as he’d leant back against the car, jeans re-buckled and the smallest hint of a flush at the base of his throat. Robert had nodded and swallowed heavily, ducking his gaze down as he’d straightened the rumple of fabric over his hips. 

“Yeah,” he’d said quietly, before looking back up and meeting Aaron’s bright eyes. “Yeah, just a one off.”

Aaron had nodded and bit at his lip, Robert had found his eyes drawn instinctively to the way the skin caught between his teeth, red and wet.

“‘Spose I’d better lock up then.” He’d shrugged. Robert had nodded too and stepped back towards the door, walking away as Aaron had turned.

He’d glanced back over his shoulder before he’d ducked out through the hatch, and had felt a lurch deep in the pit of his stomach as he’d caught sight of Aaron half leant over to grab something from the car. The rush of pure unabashed _want_ had been unexpected, and as he’d forced himself to step out into the cold night air, he’d told himself that just a one off was for the best.

*****

A small cheer goes around when Andy switches the auger on and it actually works. Robert laughs and folds his forearms across his waist, beside him Aaron whistles loudly and Robert can’t help but sneak a glance at him from the corner of his eye.

“Wow, so all done then?” Paddy’s voice cuts through as he steps up next to Andy, vet’s bag slung over his shoulder. Andy grins and switches the machine off.

“Yeah all done. Done a good job lads!”

“We should celebrate,” Robert says loudly, turning pointedly to look at Aaron. Aaron drags his gaze away from Paddy and turns fully towards Robert; Robert holds back on the smirk he can feel threatening to break over his face. “Pub or somethin’.”

“You’ll have to count me out.” Andy answers, unbuttoning the poppers on the front of his overalls as he turns away towards the entrance to the barn. “Need to pick the kids up from school.”

Paddy edges in a bit closer and adjusts the strap over his shoulder. “Actually Aaron, can I have a word?”

“Could just go over the scrapyard instead?” Aaron says, still looking directly at Robert and ignoring the increasingly agitated form of Paddy lurking over the other side of the grain pit. “Be quieter.”

Robert smiles and nods his head, climbing to his feet as Aaron does so next to him. 

“Aaron – ”

Aaron walks out of the barn and Robert follows, throwing a quick triumphant glance in Paddy’s direction before hurrying up to fall into step with him. He catches Aaron scanning him up and down out of the corner of his eye and bites at his bottom lip, the familiar feeling of anticipation beginning to thrum expectantly under his skin. 

“So… what’s got his knickers in a twist?”

Aaron huffs and shrugs nonchalantly, all the while keeping his eyes on the side of Robert’s face.

“You tell me.”

*****

The heat in the portacabin is stuffy and humid.

Aaron closes the door behind them and immediately leans back against the wood. Robert perches on the edge of the desk opposite him and crosses his arms across his chest.

“Bit warm in here ‘int it?” Robert says, glancing around the room as if he hadn’t been stood in the office only a week ago. “Don’t suppose you’ve got a fan in here have you?”

Aaron shakes his head, bottom lip caught in his teeth as he pushes away from the door and steps forward. 

“Nah sorry,” he says, not sounding apologetic in the slightest. “Probably help if you took that jacket off though.” He continues, stepping into Robert’s personal space and toying with the sliver zip resting against Robert’s chest. Robert grins and unfolds his arms, pulse hammering away in his throat.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.” Aaron nods, voice low and breathy as he leans down and forward to _finally_ press his mouth against Robert’s.

He moans unabashedly and threads the fingers of his good hand through the back of Aaron’s hair, strands sticky with dissolving gel and sweat from a hard day’s work. Aaron grabs at the front of his jacket and pulls, urging him to stand as he yanks the zip down. 

“Aaron.” He gasps as they pull apart to allow Aaron to strip him of his jacket, before reaching down and starting on his belt. “ _Aaron._ ”

“Shut up!” Aaron growls, pulling him back into a heavy kiss, dirty and full of tongue. Robert goes pliant and kicks off his shoes readily as Aaron shoves his jeans and boxers down his legs. 

He feels Aaron’s fingers skim the sides of his bare thighs teasingly before sliding them up and grabbing his arse to pull him closer. He laughs into the kiss and reaches down in between them to undo Aaron’s belt and zip, slipping his hand inside and palming Aaron’s cock through his boxers. 

“Fuck.” Aaron hisses, arching into Robert’s touch. “Turn around Robert, turn around.”

Robert smirks and does as asked, leaning over the desk and suppressing a wince when his injured palm presses against the paper strewn desktop. He hears the dull thump of Aaron’s belt hitting the floor, and holds back a moan when Aaron rubs the tip of his cock teasingly behind his balls.

“You gonna fuck me or what?” He goads breathlessly, pushing his hips back against Aaron with purpose. Aaron huffs and slips his hand back, pressing forward with intent until Robert feels his cock slip against his entrance. He keens, warmth building deep in his gut as Aaron grasps for his hip and thrusts teasingly inside. 

“Come on, harder.” Robert groans rolling back and trying to encourage the pace. Aaron grumbles under his breath but complies, pressing him further into the edge of the desk as he grinds his hips faster. 

Aaron’s hand readjusts its position on Robert’s hip as they fall into a natural rhythm, slipping up a little under the bottom hem of Robert’s t-shirt to his lower abdomen. Robert feels him jolt unexpectedly, thrust faltering as he yanks his hand back around to the side of Robert’s hip; he winces as his lower hipbone bangs unprepared against the side of the desk and furrows his brow in confusion.

“What…” He begins to ask, shifting and trying to seek out the now lost feeling of Aaron’s dick dragging pleasingly over his prostate, when he realises what exactly had provoked such a strong reaction.

He pushes himself up a little and reaches back with his injured hand to grasp for Aaron’s own, now hesitantly holding onto what little he can of the back of Robert’s hip. He pulls at Aaron’s hand, fighting against the resistance Aaron puts in to hold it back, and drags his palm around to press tight across his lower belly. He presses Aaron’s hand flat over the bump, slots his fingers between Aaron’s own, and moans as Aaron’s next thrust strikes just where he wanted.

“Robert.” Aaron murmurs hesitantly, squirming his hand a little as he tries to pull it away. Robert tightens his hold and rocks his hips back to take Aaron deeper. 

“Don’t be stupid.” He pants, readjusting his grip on Aaron’s fingers. “You really wanna settle for some bad sex cause you don’t wanna touch me?”

Aaron is silent but Robert feels the tension drop from his arms after a moment or so. He slowly loosens his hold and when he feels confident Aaron won’t pull away, drops his hand back down with a grimace to brace himself properly once more. 

He feels the tightening start to build in his belly, and he notices Aaron’s left thigh twitching against the back of his own, signalling him being close too. He goes to reach down and stroke at his own neglected cock to bring himself off with Aaron, when Aaron beats him to it, running his thumb over the slit in a tease before taking him fully in hand and working him over quickly.

He feels Aaron’s hot breath pant against the nape of his neck, and he relaxes into Aaron’s chest when he adjusts his hold on Robert’s waist; his bare forearm wrapping tight and low where the bump curves out. He feels Aaron’s thumb brush lightly against the skin around his navel and suddenly Robert feels himself coming without warning, gasping and whining as Aaron fucks him through it. He slumps down to his elbows on the desk and through a haze of pleasure hears Aaron moan as he comes as well. 

He grinds his forehead against the back of his wrist as he takes in the afterglow. Aaron is a heavy presence along the line of his back, and he almost moves to stand and push him away, when he feels Aaron’s hand absently stroking his lower belly. 

He holds still, warmth settling unexpectedly deep in his chest at the feel of Aaron’s fingers gentle against his skin. He isn’t sure whether Aaron is aware he’s even doing it, Aaron’s breath deep and still shuddering against his ear. The baby moves, rolling in a way that he has only been noticing for the past week in increasing frequency, and Robert holds his breath, waiting to see if Aaron feels it too. But Aaron doesn’t jump or startle, doesn’t even move apart from his heaving chest against Robert’s back; just continues to rub his fingers in slow circles.

Eventually Aaron comes back into himself and Robert feels the change in his breathing followed by the pause of his hand, realisation of what his subconscious mind has had him doing finally dawning on him. He pulls away abruptly, and Robert winces as his cock slips free as he stands. 

Robert pushes himself up and turns around slowly, rubbing at where he imagines a bruise to be forming on his hipbone. Aaron has already pulled his boxers back on and he feels a sinking feeling in his gut when Aaron won’t meet his eyes.

“I er, said I’d meet Adam for a few,” Aaron says quietly, stepping into his jeans and fastening his belt. “Don’t wanna be late.”

“Right.” He nods flatly, folding his arms over his waist. He’s still naked from the waist down, come beginning to drip down his inner thigh, but it isn’t either of those things that make him feel self-conscious and uncomfortable. 

“Look I’ll er, see you around.” Aaron mutters, glancing up briefly to meet Robert’s eyes before turning away and opening the door.

Robert sighs as the door slams closed, leaving him alone with only sticky thighs and a bruised hip for company.

*****

Chrissie had insisted on them going on a diet.

He’d sighed but agreed, smiling when Chrissie had flashed a heap of leaflets and printed articles about improving fertility the natural way.

“I know that – that _I’m_ the one with the problem,” she’d said tentatively after, her gaze firmly fixed on the counter top as her jaw had quivered. “But a few lifestyle changes would probably benefit us both, in lots of ways.”

He’d raised an eyebrow and taken a sip of his coffee, but had nodded when she’d glanced up at him. 

“Of course. And it’s not just your problem alright?” He’d answered softly, leaning forward and placing his hand over the back of one of hers. “It’s _both_ of ours. We’re in this together y’know?”

Chrissie had smiled, wobbly and teary, and had leant over the counter to kiss him carefully. She’d thumbed at his cheekbone, and stroked her nose alongside his in a caress.

“You’re the best husband I could ever ask for.” She’d whispered against his mouth, before placing one final kiss to his lips and pulling away to take her plate over to the sink.

Robert had swallowed and closed his eyes as she’d walked away. Guilt settling unpleasantly in the pit of his stomach in a way he hadn’t really felt before.

*****

“So…” Victoria starts, placing a mug of hot tea down on the kitchen table. “I haven’t seen Chrissie around much lately?”

Robert sighs exasperatedly and leans back in his chair. Victoria raises one eyebrow and takes a seat, placing her own mug down on a dainty floral coaster.

“Is this what you called me round for? To have a chat about my relationship?”

“No,” Vic says as innocently as possible, the smile however giving her intentions away. “Well not exactly, I just wanted to see how everything was with you. And with Chrissie.”

“Well everything’s fine. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know.” Vic shrugs, clasping her hands together as she leans forward to rest her elbows on the table. “Like I said, I haven’t seen Chrissie around a lot that’s all. Thought you two would be all a bit, loved up and gross, right now.”

He folds his arms across his middle, now able to rest them easily across the top of his stomach, and shrugs. “She’s been busy. Besides why should we be ‘loved up and gross’ anyway?”

Vic gives him a look as if questioning his intelligence and he furrows his brow.

“Well I can think of one thing!” She answers incredulously, gesturing at the bump just visible above the table. “I just thought she’d be a bit more… _involved_ and around more. I thought alphas got all protective and fussy when their omega is pregnant.”

He snorts, a grin breaking over his face as he shakes his head at his sister. “Please tell me you don’t believe that crap Vic?”

“It’s true!” Victoria says. “It’s scientific fact that when pregnant, omegas produce pheromones that help encourage protective instincts in the baby’s alpha. It’s GCSE Biology Rob!”

“So you think we’re all just slaves to our hormones?” He asks with an amused smile as he looks at Victoria’s horrified face.

“No! Of course I don’t stop twistin’ my words!” She replies, kicking softly at his shin under the table. “What I’m sayin’ is, I thought Chrissie would just be around a bit more.”

“She’s around enough,” Robert says, leaning forward to pick up his tea and take a drink. “She’s got a couple of salon openings and I’m not actually hopeless Vic, I don’t need Chrissie breathin’ down my neck all day, every day thanks.”

Victoria sighs and grabs for a chocolate digestive from the half eaten packet in the centre of the table, dunking it briefly in her tea before taking a bite.

“That’s not what I meant but okay. Surprised she weren’t with you when you brought down the scan for me though, thought she’d be the first person to go showin’ it off.”

He hesitates for a second, caught unaware with his mug half way between his mouth and the table. He recovers quickly but judging by the widening in his sister’s eyes she’d picked up on his expression anyway.

“What is it?” She asks flatly, her tone uncompromising. Robert shuffles in his seat before sighing when he realises he can’t get away with a lie.

“Chrissie wasn’t there. For the scan. She was at a meeting.”

Victoria gapes at him disbelievingly. “Please tell me you told her!”

“Of course I did.” He replies offended. He cups his hands around his mug and ducks his gaze down, exhaling loudly when it becomes clear that this is something that Vic won’t be willing to drop. “She had to go to Leeds for a last minute meeting but she got stuck in traffic on the way back. I was already there and it was too late to change the appointment, so I went in by myself.”

Victoria’s mouth pulls into a sympathetic line and Robert bristles a little at the insinuation of pity. 

“And was Chrissie okay with that?” Vic prompts carefully. Robert rubs his still sore hand across the side of his face and sighs, tapping the fingers of his right hand against the side of his rapidly cooling mug.

“Not exactly.” He shrugs. Vic hums thoughtfully and dunks the last of her biscuit in her tea. 

“Do you think that’s why she’s a bit distant? Scans are important, I mean even _I’m_ goin’ to Vanessa’s scan next week.”

He huffs a sarcastic laugh and pulls a face. “Because that isn’t weird at all.”

“Look.” Vic sighs, interrupting him before he can start on Adam once more. “All I’m sayin’ is that she probably feels like she doesn’t have a bond yet, and missing the scan may be the reason why. I mean have you started buyin’ furniture or planning a nursery yet?”

Robert pulls a face again and settles back further in his seat. “Bit early for that.”

“The baby will be here in less than 4 months Rob,” Vic says, voice lilting and head tilted. “He’ll be here before you know it.”

Something uncomfortable settles in his chest at Vic’s words, a tightening anxiety that he tries to push down with a short laugh.

“Like I said, plenty of time.” He states with exaggerated nonchalance, draining the last dregs of his tea and placing his mug down with a thunk. “Anyway, where’s that useless husband of yours?”

“Oi!” Victoria snaps, pointing her finger warningly at him. “That’s enough! And if you must know he’s out with Aaron, some used car dealer was talking to them about setting up a scrappage thing so they’ve gone for a meeting. Though if I’m being honest I’m pretty sure Adam’s gone as wingman, the bloke was proper into Aaron from what Adam was saying.”

Robert feels his jaw clench tight and has to deliberately force himself to relax. He clears his throat and shifts uncomfortably in his seat, every surprisingly overwhelming instinct telling him to leave and find out where Aaron has gone _immediately_.

“Not very professional is it?” He eventually wrestles out, voice layered with disapproval. “Mixin’ business and pleasure.”

Vic rolls her eyes and reaches for another biscuit from the packet. 

“Hardly,” she says. “Adam said the bloke was good looking is all. Don’t mean it’s gonna go any further.”

“So Aaron’s not interested then?” He asks slowly, trying to affect an air of casualness that he isn’t sure he fully succeeds at based on the look Victoria gives him. 

“Since when did you become the village gossip?” She asks rhetorically, brushing a few crumbs from the front of her hoodie. “But I don’t know, it’s Aaron, you never can really tell with him. All I know is that he deserves some happiness, and if this bloke is good for him and Aaron’s interested too, then that’s all that matters.”

He huffs bitterly and tightens his arms across his chest. “Yeah that’s all well and good until there’s a bust up and the deal gets pulled. My money’s in that place too and if Aaron screws up a deal because he can’t keep it in his pants – ”

“Bit dramatic there Rob!” Vic interrupts, wide eyed. “Besides I thought you were ‘ _supposed to be_ ’ Aaron’s mate.”

He frowns and shakes his head confused. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well.” Vic starts, leaning forward once more and crossing her arms on the table. “Considering Aaron is _such_ a good mate to you that he was the one you wanted at the hospital, you aren’t really puttin’ too much faith in him right now.”

Robert sighs and rubs his fingertips against his forehead, the beginnings of a headache starting to thump above his eyes. “Not this again Vic.”

“Yes this again. I just don’t understand why Rob, I didn’t think you and Aaron were even that close?”

“Just because we don’t give each other bro hugs in the street don’t mean we don’t get on,” he says with irritation. “Look Chrissie was away and in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t have many mates round here. Aaron was just the first one I could think of, that’s all.”

Victoria purses her lips and for a moment Robert thinks she might push, keep pressing and needling in that infuriating way of hers until he spills it all, every last secret; but instead she leans back resigned and he allows his shoulders to slump in relief. 

“Fine.” Vic announces, tone abrupt and he can tell she doesn’t want to let it drop. “But if there is _anything_ you want to tell me, and I mean anythin’, I just want you to know that I’m here for you and I won’t judge. You’re my brother and all I ever want is for you to be happy.”

“I know,” Robert says honestly. “But there’s nothing to tell, seriously.”

Vic’s face is still one of suspicion, but she doesn’t get chance to question further when the sound of the front door opening echoes from the hallway, followed by Adam’s clomping footsteps.

“You alright babe?” Adam asks as he steps into the kitchen, dropping his keys down on the counter top. He casts his eyes over Robert and nods an amenable greeting. 

“Yeah I’m fine.” Victoria smiles, resting her elbows on the table and playing with her empty mug. “Meeting go okay?”

“Yeah it went great!” Adam beams, leaning back against the counter and folding his arms across his chest. “Banged out most of the deal for the scrappage scheme, the guy was proper keen to get it all official. Should have the contract done by Friday.”

“Well done babe!” Victoria grins, she pushes herself up from the table and moves towards Adam, planting a kiss on his lips, Robert rolls his eyes and looks away with a wince. “Didn’t I say it would all go well for you?”

“Yeah, yeah, you did.” Adam laughs, wrapping his arms loosely around Vic’s waist. “Didn’t go as well for me as it did Aaron though. He’s goin’ out on a date with the bloke later, honestly didn’t think Aaron’d say yeah but the guy managed to twist his arm.”

Robert freezes and feels his stomach sink like a stone, an overwhelming wave of dread leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. Vic and Adam are too wrapped up in each other to notice his clenching jaw, and his fist tightened against his thigh at just the _thought_ of someone else touching Aaron, the thought of Aaron touching _someone else_. He does his best to reign in his expression, cool down the anger bubbling underneath his skin, when Vic pulls away from her husband and reaches over to switch the kettle on.

“Well I say good for Aaron,” she says, pulling a mug down the nearby cupboard. “Was just sayin’ to Rob that it was about time he found someone who makes him happy. Maybe this bloke’ll be the one?”

He hears Adam hum thoughtfully before he moves over to join his wife, grabbing her around the hips and making her squeal. He zones out, falling back into his own head as they begin to chatter away to each other with no real purpose, the sound of the kettle boiling off and the fridge door opening. Robert feels his pulse begin to beat hard in the base of his throat, and swallows back the sick feeling that overcomes him suddenly.

*****

He'd known exactly what Aaron’s game had been the moment Finn had wondered in, smelling of half the Boots perfume counter and dressed way too smartly for an evening in the village pub. However, knowing Aaron’s intentions hadn’t managed to curb the burning jealousy he’d felt waging war in his gut as he’d kept his eyes on them, watching them both like a hawk from his place beside Vic at the bar.

When Finn had stormed off in a huff he’d had to hold back on the smirk threatening to break out across his face, and instead had made his excuses to Diane and Vic, and had followed them both into the bathroom.

Finn had been upset and mad, and Aaron had been scowling and irritable. Finn had eventually stormed off after a few scathing words, and Robert had been unable to resist prodding at Aaron’s wounded pride with barely restrained glee.

“Great this, like being back at school.”

Aaron had sneered and snapped in response, and he had felt a flip in his belly at the anger in Aaron’s eyes. When Aaron had stalked out of the room Robert had exhaled heavily and taken a moment to compose himself, the fire in Aaron’s eyes and his heavy alpha scent having more of an effect than expected.

It’d been about an hour before Aaron had reappeared, shoulders back and cocky look on his face. Robert had raised an eyebrow as Aaron had leant in close, strong arms bracketing him in against the bar. 

“I chased them up the road but they got away,” Aaron had said with half-hearted remorse. Robert had furrowed is brow and turned his head further around to look at him.

“Chased who?”

“The kids who gave your car a hell of a batterin’.” 

Aaron had smirked then, clapping him hard on the shoulder, and had pulled away, heading through the bar and towards the back room. Robert had felt his mouth fall open as he’d watched him go, before Aaron’s words had settled in fully and he’d leapt from his seat and ran towards the door.

His car had been missing both its wing mirrors and there had been a couple of scratches running down either side, the obvious cause being keys gauged hard into the paintwork. Rage had begun to burn under his skin at the sight of it, and he’d stormed to the back door of the pub before he’d really had chance to think.

Aaron luckily had been the one to answer, amused look still on his face as Robert had shoved at him and snarled viciously. He’d laughed it off until Robert had pushed the right buttons about Finn, and pushed them _hard_ , and found himself slammed up against the wall, Aaron’s hands fisted in his collar and teeth bared towards his throat.

“Jealous were ya?” Aaron had sneered, his lips thin and half curled. Robert had felt his cock twitch in his jeans, half hard and beginning to throb, and had breathed heavily at the scent pouring from him. He’d clenched his jaw against the squirming jealous feeling in the pit of his stomach, and had grabbed for Aaron’s hoodie, pushing back against him sharply until Aaron’s back had hit the wall opposite.

“Touch my car again!” He’d growled instead of an answer, and Aaron’s eyes had fallen straight down to his lips.

He hadn’t known who’d moved first, but suddenly all he'd known was teeth and tongue and harsh breaths blown out through noses. He'd pulled away when he'd felt Aaron’s dick press hot against his thigh, and had shoved him into the wall at arm’s length.

“Upstairs. Now.” He’d rasped, heart pounding in his chest and breaths heavy as he’d turned away, starting up the staircase without looking.

He’d half expected Aaron not to follow, to leave him stood at the top of the stairs gormlessly as some sort of punishment, but when he’d heard Aaron’s hurried steps behind him he’d known he’d won. Won at least for that night anyway.

*****

He doesn’t see Aaron for 3 days.

He’s not exactly looking for Aaron, but he keeps his eye out. Pops down to the village as soon as Chrissie mentions that they’re out of milk, or offers to take the post when Lawrence mentions the stack of letters building up in the tray in the office; every time he looks around, hangs about a little longer than necessary just on the off chance he catches a glimpse, but so far nothing, not one sighting. 

In the end though he doesn’t have to go to Aaron, Aaron comes to him. 

The office is quiet for once – Chrissie out visiting one of the salons, Lawrence at a meeting with a client, and Nicola on holiday for the afternoon. He sits at his desk, idly working through a quote for a shoot, when the back door opens slowly with a click. He glances up from his screen and feels his stomach flip when he sees Aaron step inside. 

“Aaron,” he says softly, surprised. Aaron closes the door loudly and stalks across the room towards the desk.

“Did you put him up to it?” 

Robert blinks, brow furrowing in confusion as he takes in Aaron’s tensed jaw and displeased expression.

“Did I put who up to what?”

“Lawrence,” Aaron says haughtily. “Came round this mornin’ waving some application form for this awards thing and tellin’ me to enter. Did you put him up to it?”

“No I didn’t.” He answers honestly, sighing when Aaron raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “I swear Aaron I never said a word. I was going over the figures for the scrapyard this morning for the quarter and I spoke _very briefly_ to Lawrence about it, but that’s all.”

Aaron squints his eyes and buries his hands into his hoodie pockets. “You really didn’t say nothin’?”

He shakes his head and Aaron visibly deflates, the tension dropping from his shoulders as his aggressive stance falls. He glances away, awkwardness written all over his face, and Robert leans back in his desk chair, folding his arms across his chest.

“Look, you should probably enter. If Lawrence has asked you to then it means you’re basically a shoo-in, and let’s be honest the extra cash won’t hurt. Lawrence has contacts, you’d be stupid to turn your nose up at it.”

Aaron nods, sucking his lower lip between his teeth. Robert watches him, scanning him up and down and noting all the tiny differences in him from the last time he laid eyes on him; hair a little longer at the sides, skin a little tanner from the sudden blast of late summer heat they’d had the week before. He drinks him in while he watches Aaron battle with himself mentally between doing what he knows is best, and snubbing the whole thing purely because of Robert. 

“Fine,” he says eventually, glancing away from Robert and pulling the sleeves of his hoodie down over his hands. “But if I even so much as catch a word that you’ve – ”

“I won’t.” He interrupts, shaking his head. “I won’t say a word.”

Aaron peers back at him for a moment, his expression flat and unreadable and Robert holds his breath. Aaron eventually sighs and turns away, heading back towards the door without a second glance; Robert exhales steadily and slumps tiredly back into his seat.

*****

Lawrence presents Aaron with a huge check and Robert can’t help the smile that quirks at his lips. Chrissie on the other hand is a prickly presence at his side, and she rolls her eyes and sighs when she catches sight of his expression.

“I suppose this was all your doing? Bankrolling your little robbery thug?”

Robert stiffens and feels his lips thin as he purses them tight.

“This had nothing to do with me,” he says flatly, keeping his eyes on Aaron as he awkwardly talks to the local newspaper reporter, the large check still clutched in his hand. “If you want to take it up with someone, take it up with your dad.”

Chrissie huffs and he shakes his head, pushing himself up to stand and walk towards the bar. He watches as the reporter beside Aaron nods her head and shakes his hand before moving away towards Lawrence, and takes his opportunity to sidle up next to Aaron unawares.

“Congratulations. Told you you’d do it.”

Aaron licks the foam from his top lip as he lowers his fresh pint down and places it back on the bar. He shrugs his shoulders briefly and glances at Robert from the corner of his eye.

“And you didn’t say anythin’?” He asks, voice barely above a disinterested mumble. 

“Not a word, promise,” Robert says, small smile beginning to tug at his mouth. Aaron nods and Robert shifts closer, Aaron doesn’t move away and Robert parts his lips to ask if he can buy him a drink – when Aaron’s phone buzzes loudly from its place on the bar, and the screen lights up with a message that he can’t stop his gaze being drawn to.

_**From: Matt --- Received: 14:32**  
Well done! Knew you’d win! So does this mean you’re free for a little celebration tonight? ;) Could come round to …_

The rest of the message is hidden from the preview but it doesn’t take a genius to work out what it would say. He swallows, feeling his stomach sink instantaneously, and Aaron quickly grabs his phone and shoves it in his jeans pocket.

“Need to go call Adam,” he says, picking up his pint and gesturing to the side entrance awkwardly. He walks away before Robert can so much as nod his head dumbly.

“What can I get ya pet?” Diane’s voice interrupts to his left, and Robert turns reluctantly towards her, forcing a wide smile onto his face.

*****

Keeping Aaron’s name out of it had been instinctive. 

Chrissie had pushed and shouted, her voice harsh and cold and betrayed as she’d stormed through the house, but it hadn’t been enough for him to give up Aaron’s name, he hadn’t even considered it.

“So you’re saying that you don’t _know_ who you hired to burgle our house and _terrify my father_?!” She’d snapped, her face screwed up and eyes watering. “You let _Ross Barton_ and one of his little criminal friends put my dad in _hospital_ Robert! He could have _died_!” 

“I’m – I’m sorry,” he’d said, but she’d shaken her head and turned away.

“Sorry isn’t good enough Robert. I mean I don’t even know _who you are_ anymore!”

He’d followed her through to the office, keeping on her tail even when she’d started riffling through drawers of papers and tossing things aside. “Chrissie! I never meant –”

“Invoices!” She’d shouted, throwing down a stack of paper onto the desk and pointing at them with a shaking hand. “Invoices for CCTV that we had to have installed to protect me _from my own husband_!”

He’d shaken his head, running a hand roughly through his hair as Chrissie had continued to glare him down, lower lip trembling. “Chrissie, just let me explain – ”

“You’re a liar Robert!” She’d choked out, tears beginning to well in her eyes. “All you ever do is lie! We’re meant to be married! We’re meant to be starting a _family_ together!”

“And we still can!” He’d said desperately, stepping forward and reaching out for Chrissie even when she’d shoved his arms away hard. “Don’t you see? I did this _for us_ , to make your dad understand – ”

Chrissie had scoffed and shaken her head, folding her arms around her waist as she’d turned away from him. 

“The only person you did this for was yourself Robert,” she’d said, cold and hard; Robert had swallowed heavily and glanced away from her frosty gaze.

“You need to get out.” She’d continued, and he’d turned his head back towards her sharply, his eyes narrowing.

“You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t tell me what I mean!” She’d shouted, her cheeks burning red with anger. “I said get _out_ of my _house_ Robert! Before I call the police and have them do it for you!”

He had hesitated, had hovered to the side of the desk until Chrissie had snarled and reached into her pocket for her phone. He’d exhaled shakily and stepped back, lips pursed tight as he’d eventually turned away towards the back door, defeat making his shoulders slump.

He’d glanced back one final time as he’d pulled open the door, hopeful that Chrissie might change her mind, but all he’d seen was her determined expression and he’d had to turn away, swallowing back the lump in his throat as he’d closed the door quietly behind him.

*****

Chrissie continues to be frosty for the remainder of the afternoon, her demeanour cold even when Vic and Diane join them at the table with a bottle of champagne to celebrate. Robert sits beside her as she sips quietly at her glass of wine, and tries to fend off the pointed looks Vic attempts to send him every time they make eye contact.

“I bet your Adam’s thrilled,” Diane says nudging Victoria on the top of her arm and distracting her from trying to catch Robert’s eye. Vic turns her head to the side and smiles at Diane, playing absently with her champagne glass.

“I text him earlier, said he’s made up. Told him, him and Aaron should go out and celebrate when he gets back but Aaron’s seein’ his new bloke, so I’ll probably cook him somethin’ nice and we’ll have our own little celebration instead.”

Robert grimaces as he swallows his mouthful of orange juice, stomach turning at both the thought of his little sister’s sex life and Aaron out with his ‘new bloke’. “Jesus Vic, I don’t wanna know!”

“Sorry,” Victoria says, quite clearly not sorry at all as she holds up her hands. “But we’re all adults here. I don’t get all weirded out about how _that_ got there.”

She gestures to his stomach and he shifts uncomfortably, glancing briefly out the corner of his eye at Chrissie who is busy scrolling through her phone absently, lips pursed.

“Yeah well that’s a bit different.”

“Is it really though?” Vic teases. “I’m married, you’re married… and unless you’re telling me that my nephew got in there by immaculate conception, then we both know what happened there.”

He sits awkwardly and fiddles with a damp beer mat on the table, avoiding his sister’s eyes. Chrissie sighs annoyed from his side and he turns to look at her quickly, irrational fear making his heart pound in his chest; but Chrissie is still looking at her phone, frown marring her brow, and she sighs again before locking the screen and standing up.

“Sorry, I need to go and make a call,” she says, plastering an apologetic smile on her face. “You’d think you would be able to leave a bunch of grown women unsupervised for one day but you’d be surprised.”

Vic and Diane nod their heads and Robert watches as she walks across to the side entrance, her heels clipping on the floor. As she passes through the door he catches sight of a familiar grey and black hoodie ducking into the men’s toilet and his stomach flips. He was sure Aaron had left already, left to go meet this _Matt_ everybody seemed to bang on about so much. He drains the last of his orange juice and pushes back his chair.

“Back in a sec,” he says quietly as he stands, Victoria nods once in acknowledgement but continues to talk with Diane.

He passes Lawrence talking loudly to a few business associates by the bar on his way to the door and ducks through quickly, automatically checking for any sign of Chrissie in the small alcove before he pushes open the door to the toilet.

Aaron is stood alone by the sink, head ducked down as he runs his hands under the tap; Robert looks around and notes that they’re thankfully all alone.

“You make a habit of watchin’ blokes in the men’s?” Aaron’s gruff voice asks, glancing up and meeting Robert’s eyes in the mirror as he turns the tap off. He reaches for a paper towel from the dispenser on the wall and dries his hands quickly, scrunching the paper up and tossing it in the bin; Robert slips his hands into his jeans pockets and shrugs.

“Not particularly.”

Aaron sighs and turns finally, crossing his arms across his chest and leaning back against the sink. “What d’you want Robert?”

Robert shrugs again and purses his mouth, realising quite quickly that he had no real valid reason to be following him into the men’s toilet, apart from the overwhelming impulse to do so when he’d seen the flash of hoodie through the gap in the door. He’d been so sure that Aaron had left earlier, to go and see _Matt_ , that when he’d realised he was still in fact in the pub he hadn’t been able to stop himself from chasing after him.

Now though, stood in front of an increasingly annoyed looking Aaron, he wishes he’s taken a second to think his actions through.

“Nothing,” he says eventually, trying to affect an air of nonchalance. “Just surprised you’re still here, thought you’d be seeing Mike, was it? Vic seemed to think you’d be havin’ a _great_ time with him.”

Aaron laughs once incredulously and shakes his head, scuffing his shoe on the floor as he glances back up at Robert.

“You serious? Y’know jealousy don’t suit you Robert.”

Robert’s mouth twists into a something resembling a sneer and he looks away towards the doors of the cubicles lined up against the side wall. “I’m not jealous.”

“Really?” Aaron asks doubtfully. He pushes himself away from the sink and takes a step forward, chin raised as he stares Robert down. “So when you’re sat up in your big fancy house later you won’t be thinkin’ about me in bed with him? Kissin’ him, fuckin’ him? Cause I can tell you now, that’s exactly what we’ll be doing.”

His jaw clenches automatically at the image painted for him – Aaron and this faceless bloke, them _touching_ and _kissing_ one another, writhing in sheets and panting into each other’s mouths – and Aaron’s lips pull into a satisfied grin.

“You’re a joke Robert. You sit in there with your pretty little missus, flaunting it in my face, and you still think you get to be jealous over who I sleep with?” Aaron sneers, eyes sparkling as they flicker over Robert’s face. “It’s pathetic.”

Robert’s nostrils flare and he curls his hands into fists in his jeans pocket, anger pulsing under his skin. Aaron stares him down before shaking his head, unamused smile on his face, and pushes past him towards the door without looking back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from my travels with the final part! Hopefully you all enjoy it and don't want to hurt me too bad at the end!
> 
> I've added something into the end of the last chapter, as I realised on looking back today I'd forgotten to include the flashback scene before the final section, so I've put it in. It's not essential reading so you can skip straight on to this chapter if you like, however it does tie into the start of this chapter so it might just make the link a little smoother.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the last part and like I said, hopefully you don't want to curse me out too much. :)

His hangover had been banging at his temples when Aaron had stormed back into the back room of the pub, his jaw tensed and eyes hard. Robert had sighed and leant heavily against the kitchen counter, half-drunk glass of water clutched in his hand. 

“Please don’t,” he'd said gingerly, closing his eyes as he’d held one palm up placatingly. “My head’s killin’ me.”

Aaron had snorted and moved further into the room, his shoulders back and posturing in a way that Robert would have found extremely appreciative under different circumstances.

“I went to see Chrissie,” he’d said with false lightness. “Had a little chat.”

Robert had straightened, and had tried not to let himself panic at the thought of Aaron telling Chrissie _everything_ out of spite for his earlier drunken actions. 

“What did you say?”

“Told her how pathetic you were being, sittin’ about cryin’.” Aaron had answered with a shrug, and Robert had relaxed a little. “Then I told her it was me at the robbery; said how you didn’t want Lawrence to get hurt. Told her you’d been _real_ cut up about everything after.”

He had sighed in relief and had slumped down into a chair at the dining table, resting his arms across the top lazily as he’d stared up at Aaron.

“I bet she didn’t take that well did she?” He’d half laughed; Aaron had shaken his head with a shrug, his lips pursed as he’d glanced around the room.

“She said a few things, called me all the names under then sun. Not like I didn’t deserve it though.”

Robert had nodded and leant forward across the table, bracing his elbows against the wood as he’d looked up at Aaron under his lashes.

“Thank you though,” he’d said earnestly. “For saying those things for me, puttin’ me in a better light. I can use that when I go see her, talk some sense into her about it.”

Aaron had snorted and shaken his head disbelievingly, stepping back from the table with a mild look of disgust on his face. Robert had felt something pang in the pit of his stomach.

“You really are a piece of work aren’t ya?” Aaron had spat nastily; Robert had swallowed and looked down at his hands. “And I didn’t do it for _you_ , I did it for me, to get ya out of my _face_. I can’t stand ya Robert! So just do us all a favour and get out!”

The door had slammed hard as Aaron had stormed from the room, and Robert had sat slouched at the table staring after him, fighting back an emotion he hadn’t wanted to examine for fear of what it might’ve turned out to be.

*****

Lawrence is the one to suggest starting work on the nursery, much to Robert’s surprise.

“It’s about time really,” he says, pouring himself a coffee from the cafetiere, as Robert sits beside Chrissie at the kitchen island and distractedly chews at a piece of toast. “You don’t want to leave everything to the last minute after all.”

“We still have plenty of time.” Chrissie answers, turning a page in the newspaper spread out in front of her. “Besides,” she continues, pausing to glance up at her father. “I don’t want to jinx things.”

“Nonsense!” Lawrence scoffs, placing the cafetiere back down on the counter top. “The tricky part is over with now, it’ll all be plain sailing from here.”

Chrissie hums thoughtfully and turns towards Robert, biting at her lip as she looks over at him.

“Dad’s right, maybe we should start thinking about plans for the nursery.”

Robert drops his toast back down to his plate and meets Chrissie’s tentative gaze. He swallows, guilt bubbling up a little at the happy sparkle he can see in Chrissie’s eyes, and clears his throat as he shifts on his stool.

“If that’s what you want then yeah, why not.”

Lawrence beams at them both and picks up his mug. 

“I’ll call the renovator at lunch, see when she’s free,” he says, starting to walk away. He glances at his watch briefly and sips at his coffee. “I have my first meeting with Aaron today Robert, to discuss the business. I imagine you will want to sit in?”

Robert blinks, unprepared, but recovers himself quickly when Lawrence raises an expectant eyebrow. “Yeah, yeah of course. What time?”

“1 o’clock. It shouldn’t go on too long I don’t think.” Lawrence answers cheerily on his way to the door. “I’ve got to dash off but I’ll see you at 1!”

The front door closes not long after and Robert turns back to his breakfast, picking up his own coffee and taking a sip. Chrissie flips another page and hums thoughtfully. 

“Do you think he’d be so willing to help out if he knew what sort of person Aaron really is?”

He tenses, jaw clenched at the light scathing in Chrissie’s voice and he places his mug down on the counter carefully. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well he’s hardly the most upstanding of citizens, is he?” Chrissie says, looking up at him once more and frowning. “He’s a thug Robert, and quite frankly I don’t know why you would even want to be in business with him.”

He pushes away from the island, stool scrapping loudly on the floor as he stands. 

“Who I choose to work with Chrissie, is absolutely none of your business.” He snaps, a sudden wash of anger bubbling up inside that takes him by surprise; something that he also sees reflected in Chrissie’s taken aback expression.

“Well I think you’ll find it is my business.” Chrissie answers haughtily as she folds her arms and straightens in her seat. “It is _most definitely_ my business when he is now working in my house! Never mind the fact that you’re carrying our child too!”

Robert blinks and laughs disbelievingly, shaking his head. “Are you seriously saying that _Aaron_ would hurt the baby? _Seriously_?”

“Well he had no qualms about knocking an innocent man unconscious, and locking him in a shed to have a heart attack did he?” Chrissie replies, eyes wide. “How should I know what he’s capable of?!” 

Robert continues to shake his head and turns away from his wife. 

“I don’t believe this.” He mutters walking away and out of the kitchen, he hears Chrissie stand behind him but continues on through the door regardless.

“Robert! Where are you going?!” Chrissie shouts; Robert opens the door to the office and slams it shut behind him.

*****

When he returns back to the office after lunch Aaron is already there, awkwardly stood beside the stairs in a suit jacket over a white t-shirt, clutching onto a manila folder as he stares absently across the room. He closes the door gently behind him and Aaron jolts as he turns towards the sound.

“Oh, er, it’s you,” he says, shifting from one foot to the other. “Sam let me in, got a meetin’ with Lawrence.”

Robert walks over towards his desk and sits down, tidying a pile of papers into the correct trays as he nods his head. “I know, that’s why I’m here.”

Aaron frowns and takes a step closer. “I thought you said you’d have nothin’ to do with this?”

“I haven’t.” He answers, leaning back in his seat and looking over at Aaron. He automatically rests one hand over the crest of his stomach, and notes Aaron’s gaze flickering down to look at it. “Lawrence asked me to join and well, I am an investor.”

Aaron drags his eyes up to meet his once more and rolls them, muttering something under his breath. He turns a little and leans back to rest against the edge of Nicola’s desk, crossing his feet in front him which only emphasises the way that the material of his jeans pulls across his thighs. Robert bites at his lip and scans his eyes up Aaron’s body appreciatively, especially paying attention to defined lines of his chest just visible through the tighter than usual t-shirt.

“Aaron.” He starts suddenly, swallowing as he looks up at Aaron’s face, now turned away from him once more. “Can we talk? Later, I mean?”

Aaron furrows his brow and he can see the dismissal about to be uttered by the look on his face.

“Please?” He says, cutting Aaron off before he can even open his mouth. “I – I miss you.”

Aaron’s eyes widen and he purses his lips, he shifts his feet anxiously and Robert holds his breath in hope. 

“I don’t – ” Aaron starts, but then he twists his head around when the side entrance door opens and Lawrence comes bumbling in loudly. Robert huffs and slumps back in his chair rolling his eyes.

“Ah Aaron! You’re already here good!” Lawrence calls over, closing the door and striding over to Aaron to shake his hand. “Hope you haven’t been waiting too long.”

Aaron shakes his hand, plastering a small smile on his face that Robert knows to be completely false. 

“No, er, only about 5 minutes.”

“Good, good,” Lawrence says stepping away and gesturing to a chair around the small meeting table that had been set up in the middle of the room. “Have a seat. Oh and Robert? I’ve spoken to the renovator and they are happy to come by on Friday to discuss plans for the nursery.”

Robert pauses halfway out of his seat and nods dumbly, his eyes however drift to Aaron who glances away from him sharply, his jaw clenching as he sets down the folder still held in his hand.

He walks over slowly to join them and takes a seat, Aaron still refusing to look over and meet his eyes. Lawrence pulls over a few ring binders and opens his laptop, tapping quickly at his keyboard.

“Right then,” he says brightly, and Robert plays absently with a pen as Aaron stares down at the table. “Shall we get started?”

*****

He’d woken up feeling more than sorry for himself, cocooned in a thin duvet in the small box room at The Woolpack. Which is why when he’d dragged himself down the road to David’s, he hadn’t seen a problem with buying the bottle of whiskey instead of the box of cereal he’d intended on when he’d left the pub.

He’d gone over to the cricket pavilion to drink it. Some nostalgic teenage rebellion bubbling up inside of him – the same rebellion which had made him feel like drinking a bottle of whiskey for breakfast would be a good idea in the first place. 

It hadn’t burnt his throat like it’d used to though, hadn’t made him cough and splutter in the way that Andy had used to laugh at when they’d been 15, but it’d settled uneasily in his empty stomach and he’d found the world smudging at the edges far quicker than he’d expected it to.

When the bottle was half gone he’d grown irritated and irked, and had found himself stumbling back through the village towards the garage, Ross Barton’s hulking, thieving, figure the fixture in his sights.

“I – I want my money back!” He’d slurred angrily, gesturing with the bottle in Ross’ face. Ross had laughed and Robert had snarled, launching himself at Ross without much luck or grace.

“What’s going on here!” Emma Barton had trilled out from the entrance to the garage, and Robert had pushed himself up from the sprawl he’d found himself in across the counter, tools in disarray around him as Ross had continued to cackle. 

“Your son – your son’s a thief!” He’d sneered, stumbling on uncertain legs as he’d walked backward past her. Ross had leered at him wide eyed and with false innocence, and he’d almost gone back in for more, but Emma had glared at him hard and so he’d turned away, half falling down the street until he’d found himself slumped against a wall.

He’d felt his eyes slipping closed as he’d leant there, the booze making his head swim and legs unstable. He’d felt hands grasping at him suddenly and he’d fluttered open his eyes with a furrowed brow, ready to tell whoever it was disturbing him to fuck off in so many words, when he’d seen Aaron’s blue eyes in front of his and he’d swallowed down a lump in his throat. 

Aaron had dragged him back to the pub and had dumped him down on the sofa. He had sunk into the cushions as Aaron had headed into the kitchen, and he’d felt his head loll against his palm as he’d tried to prop it up against the arm of the sofa, his eyes half lidded and hazy.

“Here, drink this,” Aaron had said, reappearing in front of him and holding out a glass. Robert had blinked and had held out his hand for Aaron to place the drink against his palm’ He’d fumbled with the glass a little, water sloshing over his hand, and Aaron had hissed, taking the glass back and placing it down on the coffee table as he’d taken a seat down beside him. 

“M’sorry,” he’d said quietly, miserable, as Aaron had settled into the sofa. “Sorry for everythin’ I’ve done to ya.”

Aaron had sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “It’s fine.”

“S’not though.” Robert had protested, turning his head and blinking lazily, his mouth sliding into a pout. “I push people away, pushed _you_ away.”

Aaron had sighed again and Robert had licked at his lips, the skin chapped and dry under his tongue.

“D’ya think about the future?” He’d asked, shifting closer towards Aaron and resting his head back into the sofa cushions. Aaron had shaken his head, refusing to meet his eyes, and Robert had slanted his mouth sadly.

“I do, a lot these last couple of weeks. An’ it scares me, bein’ alone.”

Aaron had looked over at him at that, his eyes blue and clear and free from anger for the first time in days, and Robert had felt a lump build again in his throat. He’d leant forward then, reaching for the glass again with clumsy hands, and he’d felt Aaron’s hands on his as he’d quickly steadied him, easing his grasp. 

He’d tilted his head as Aaron had pulled the glass away, suddenly aware of the proximity of Aaron’s face to his, and he had swallowed, his eyes drawn down to Aaron’s mouth instinctively.

Aaron’s stubble had been prickly against his bottom lip and he’d sighed in relief despite the clumsy angle of the kiss. He’d felt Aaron kiss back, briefly and tentatively, before Aaron had pushed away and stood walking from the room without so much as another word. 

Robert had felt his lower lip tremble as Aaron’s footsteps had quickly faded, the drink beginning to slosh sickly around his stomach, and he had rubbed a hand into his rapidly blurring eyes. When he’d heard Chas’ raised voice he’d brushed her off with a short snap, and had stumbled across the room to the door, ambling his way up the stairs as she’d continued to shout at his back the whole way up.

*****

The pub is busier than usual for a Tuesday evening, and Robert has to worm his way through the occupied tables and people crowding around the bar. He’s not sure why he’d even decided to come down after the way Aaron had refused to look at him throughout the entire meeting – only even speaking to him when it was completely necessary – but he hadn’t been able to help himself, some impossibly optimistic part of him hopeful that Aaron would have thawed in the few hours between the end of their meeting and now.

When he reaches the bar he stops and glances around the room, searching for a familiar mop of gelled hair and dark hoodie but coming unstuck. He hears heels click on the floor in front of him and rolls his eyes when Chas appears in his line of view.

“And what can I get for you?” She asks sickly sweet and condescending; Robert turns his head to her fully and glowers.

“Is Aaron about?”

Chas smirks nastily and shakes her head. 

“No he’s not. He’s out tonight, with _Matt_ ,” she says gleefully. “You know Matt right? His new _boyfriend_?”

Robert’s jaw tightens and he presses his fingertips into the wood of the bar top hard. “Can you let him know I was here?”

Chas hums and tilts her head mock considering. 

“Oh, how about… no.” She answers with a grin, Robert shakes his head. “Honestly Robert I don’t get why you’re still trying, he doesn’t _want_ you so just go on crawlin’ back to your little wife and – Aaron!”

He frowns at her sudden outburst and turns to look in the direction of her gaze, just in time to see Aaron storm through the door to the pub, his brow lowered and lip pulled between his teeth. He turns at his mother’s exclamation and halts abruptly when his eyes meet Robert’s.

“Aaron love!” Chas says again and Robert can hear her anxiety in her tone of voice. “What are you doin’ back? I thought you were meeting Matt? I didn’t expect you back until morning!”

Aaron shrugs, expression irritated by his mother’s questioning. 

“Yeah well now I’m not,” he says, and makes to continue through the pub towards the back room. Robert straightens up and moves to follow him.

“Aaron, can we talk?”

Aaron doesn’t stop but Robert sees his small nod and slumps in relief, stepping away from the bar and walking behind him. He sees Chas make a rush to stop them but she gets interrupted by an annoyed punter wanting serving, and Robert darts through into the back room before she can say anything. 

Aaron is already sat on the sofa when he enters, feet kicked up on the coffee table and arms folded across his chest. Robert hesitates, uncertain of where to sit, before he decides to rest against the arm of the sofa and drops his hands into his lap.

“You said you wanted to talk, so talk.” Aaron grinds out, glancing over at Robert after they sit in silence for several minutes, both not wanting to say the first word. Robert nods in acknowledgement and wets his lips, turning a little more to the right until he can rest his knee on the sofa cushion and look at Aaron fully.

“So.” He starts, absently twisting at his wedding ring as he clears his throat. “I er – your mum said you were seeing Matt tonight?”

Aaron rolls his eyes and huffs. “Yeah well, now I’m not obviously.”

Robert nods and moves his knee further up on the sofa. “Did somethin’ happen?”

Aaron sighs, the haughty expression on his face softening a little as he uncrosses his arms and legs. Robert watches him carefully as Aaron drops his gaze down to his hands, fingernails beginning to toy with a hangnail on his thumb.

“I ended it.” He shrugs, and Robert raises an eyebrow surprised.

“Why?” He asks before he can stop himself, wincing straight away at the eagerness in his voice; but Aaron doesn’t chew him out, just shrugs again and pulls his hoodie sleeves down over his hands.

“He wanted somethin’ serious. Wanted me to meet his sister and his parents and I didn’t want to get into that.”

Robert nods, trying not to feel the spark of happiness that begins to burn at Aaron’s easy dismissal of his relationship. 

“It’s probably for the best then,” he says, attempting to sound neutral, but Aaron huffs and shakes his head.

“What are you really doin’ here Robert?” Aaron asks, turning to look at Robert properly for the first time. “What do you want?”

Robert bites at his lower lip and breathes in deeply, meeting Aaron’s eyes purposefully and running his hands over the tops of his thighs. 

“I meant it. What I said earlier. I miss you.”

Aaron laughs bitterly and eyes Robert from under his lashes. “You mean you miss the sex.”

“No.” Robert answers quickly, shaking his head hard. Aaron raises an eyebrow and Robert sighs reluctantly. “Okay so, maybe I miss the sex too, but I miss _you_ Aaron. I miss just talking to you, being mates.”

“We weren’t ever mates,” Aaron says lowly. Robert bites at his lip again and takes a risk, sliding off the arm to sit down fully beside Aaron on the sofa. Aaron brings his legs down to the floor, but doesn’t move to leave and Robert feels a wash of relief.

“I know,” he says softly, and looks directly into Aaron’s eyes, wide and blue and so bright. “I know, but we could be. We could try.”

Aaron blinks and worries at the corner of his lip with his teeth. “I don’t know – ”

“Please?” Robert interrupts shifting a little closer still. “Please Aaron. I need you.”

Aaron shakes his head and rubs a hand over his face, his expression conflicted. Robert watches him carefully, takes in the small lines tapering away from the corners of his eyes, the soft scruff of his beard, the way his lashes lie against the tops of his cheekbones.

“I don’t know if I can,” Aaron eventually says, glancing over at Robert from under said lashes. Robert licks his lips and looks down at his hands, thumbs twisting in his lap.

“We could keep it simple, just drinks y’know? Go out sometimes – ”

Aaron laughs unconvinced and shakes his head once again. 

“You know that’s not gonna work right?” Aaron murmurs, resting his temple on his knuckles as he runs his gaze over Robert’s face. “We should just stay away from each other.”

Robert purses his lips and glances down at the floor. “Aaron – ”

“You need to go back to Chrissie.” Aaron continues, cutting Robert’s protest off before it can begin. “She’s what you want Robert, we both know it.”

“I need you too,” Robert says gently, leaning forward to mirror Aaron’s position. “I _want_ you.”

Aaron swallows and exhales heavily. Robert waits, watching Aaron’s face intently until Aaron meets his eyes again, and then shifts in closer still when he doesn’t move away. Aaron’s breath ghosts over his lips, soft and warm, and Robert gives in to his want, closing the remaining distance to press their mouths together. 

Aaron makes a quiet sound against Robert’s lips, and Robert worries that he has pushed too far – but then Aaron reaches up to thread his fingers through Robert’s hair and pulls, kissing Robert hard as he slips his tongue across the seam of his lips.

“Should take this upstairs.” He pants when they part for air, foreheads still pressed close and fingertips skipping up arms and over shoulders. Aaron nods and pulls away to stand, Robert following suit as Aaron heads for the door.

*****

He’d been fuming when he’d stormed through to the back room of the pub, the sting of Chrissie’s rejection bitter on his tongue. He’d seen Aaron sat there on the sofa, pint in hand and plate of buffet food spread out over the coffee table as he’d stared over at the tv, and had immediately felt an irrational pulse of irritation at him being there.

“You happy now?” He’d snapped, stalking past Aaron on the sofa and towards the kitchen. Aaron had raised an eyebrow and pulled a face.

“You what?”

Robert had huffed and shaken his head, pacing a little from side to side as he’d rubbed a hand through the back of his hair.

“I said are you happy? _Chrissie_ wants nothin’ to _do_ with me thanks to your little chat.” He’d retorted sharply. Aaron had shrugged and rolled his eyes, leaning back into the sofa and taking a swig from his pint.

“Dunno what you’re talkin’ about mate, if it weren’t for me she wouldn’t have spoken to ya at all.”

Robert had clenched his jaw, the muscle twitching furiously under the pressure, until he’d eventually sighed and stepped forward, his hand digging into his pocket to pull out the strip of paper he’d folded in there carefully.

“Well you should be happy anyway, you’ve got what you wanted.”

He’d tossed the paper down on the coffee table and Aaron had paused, pint glass halfway to his mouth. Robert had folded his arms across his chest and he’d watched as Aaron had placed the glass down and leant forward in his seat.

“There is enough for us to go anywhere, start again, just the 2 of us,” he’d said. Aaron hadn’t moved, hadn’t responded in anyway and Robert had shifted anxiously, eventually dropping down onto the closest chair and bracing his elbows on his knees.

“I was thinking London, maybe Manchester,” he’d said carefully, clasping his hands in his lap and watching Aaron with cautious glances. “Somewhere where we could start fresh.”

Aaron had huffed a laugh then, something small and quiet and Robert had swallowed down the flicker of hurt at the sound. Aaron had shaken his head and shifted further forward, his knees almost brushing his where they'd sat.

“Y’know if this was a few weeks ago I’d have my bags packed right now.”

Robert had shuffled closer still, his pulse beginning to flutter in his throat.

“And you still can,” he’d said eagerly. “Nothin’s changed Aaron, it’s what we want, what we _both_ want!”

Aaron had nodded his head and Robert had felt something settle pleasantly in his chest. He’d exhaled relieved, but then Aaron had pursed his mouth and he had paused uncertain.

“Yeah okay,” Aaron had said, continuing to nod while he braced his arms on his thighs. “I’ll come with ya, but first I want you to go out into that bar, and tell ‘em.”

His pulse had kicked in his chest and he’d glanced at Aaron warily. “Tell them what?”

“About us.” Aaron had answered without hesitation, his expression almost smug as he’d watched Robert closely. “I want you to go out there and tell ‘em all about us. Tell them how you wanna be with me, with an alpha _bloke_. And when you’ve done that I’ll pack my stuff and we’ll go, anywhere you want.”

Robert had tightened his mouth without any real conscious thought, the idea of publicly _outing_ himself like that, setting his bones on edge, but it’d been enough to make Aaron’s expression shutter and close off. His hand reaching forward and grabbing for the cheque with a tensed fist.

“And that’s why I ain’t goin’ with ya.” He’d snapped, pushing himself up to stand and tossing the cheque at Robert’s chest. “So you can stuff ya money and do one. Do what you want.”

Robert had picked up the cheque up from where it'd fallen to the floor, and had sighed at the glimpse he’d caught of Aaron’s back as he’d headed through the door into the bar. He’d rubbed at his mouth and closed his eyes, stomach sinking harder than it had when Chrissie had sent him away just that afternoon.

He’d smoothed his thumb over the inked figures on the cheque and had bit his lip, his mind already settling firmly on leaving – and as quickly as possible.

*****

They climb the stairs quickly and as soon as the door to Aaron’s bedroom is closed shut Robert finds himself pushed up against the wood, Aaron’s mouth immediately back on his. They kiss long and slow, Aaron pulling at Robert’s leather jacket until it slips down his arms and drops to the floor with a quiet thump. Robert fingers at Aaron’s belt and Aaron pulls him forward by the waist away from the door, nipping at his lower lip before leaning back and catching Robert’s eyes.

“I want you to fuck me.” Aaron murmurs lowly, eyes lidded and heavy. Robert’s stomach jolts and feels arousal flood through him to the very tips of his toes. 

It wasn’t like he hadn’t fucked Aaron before because he had, one very memorable night at Home Farm when he’d been pliant and wanting and desperate to ride Robert’s cock; but it was uncommon, alphas didn’t like to get fucked and until Aaron, Robert had only had the pleasure once before. 

“You sure?” Robert asks shakily, voice barely above a whisper as his hands come to rest on Aaron’s hips, the charged anticipation at the thought of getting to _have_ Aaron causing his legs to tremble. Aaron nods his confirmation and reaches down to unbutton Robert’s jeans.

“Yeah,” he says meaningfully, and yanks down the zip fast, slipping his hand inside Robert’s jeans to palm him through his boxers. Robert moans and kicks off his shoes swiftly, allowing Aaron to push his trousers down his legs.

Aaron pulls away then and unzips his hoodie, tossing it down onto the floor as Robert reaches for the waist of his jeans; he unbuckles Aaron’s belt as Aaron strips himself of his t-shirt with haste. Once Robert has Aaron’s belt free, he unfastens Aaron’s jeans and accepts the kiss Aaron places on his mouth, hot and desperate, tongue curling deliciously against Robert’s own as Aaron tugs at his hair.

“Get on the bed.” Robert moans breathlessly, sliding Aaron’s jeans and boxers down over his hips. “On your knees.”

Aaron nods and does as instructed, shuffling forward until he can brace his hands against the headboard. Robert hesitates at the edge of the bed and takes a second to drink him, run his eyes over the expanse of Aaron’s back, the way the muscles of his shoulders shift under soft skin all the way down to the dip just above his pert arse. His cock gives a twitch as Aaron moves a little to spread his legs, and Robert pushes down his boxers quickly, climbing onto the bed and pulling off his thin jumper to rid himself of the rest of his clothes.

“Have you got anything?” He asks softly, wrapping his palms over Aaron’s narrow hips and squeezing. Aaron nods, resting his forehead against his folded arms on the top of the headboard.

“Top draw on the left,” Aaron says. Robert squeezes his hands once more and crawls across the mattress to the bedside table, tugging the drawer open clumsily by the handle. He roots around inside, rummaging through the assorted clutter hastily, but pauses when he catches sight of a slightly crumpled photo, the dark pigment on the thick paper causing his heart to lurch.

“You found it?” Aaron asks impatiently and Robert swallows, nudging the photograph aside and grabbing the half empty bottle of lube he can see peeking out from the back of the draw.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve got it,” he says and pulls back, lightly pushing the draw until it’s half closed. He moves over towards Aaron and flips the cap on the bottle, coating his fingers before tossing it down to his side. 

He teases his fingertips over Aaron’s entrance, and can’t help the flood of arousal that rushes through his belly at the sound that comes from Aaron’s mouth. After that he wastes no time slipping his fingers inside and working Aaron open, rhythmically rubbing over Aaron’s prostate until he becomes a pliant moaning mess.

“Stop fuckin’ about Robert!” Aaron eventually grunts out as Robert goes to slip him another finger. “Just get on with it will ya?!”

Robert exhales and nods his head despite Aaron being unable to see his response. He reaches for the lube once more and generously coats his cock from root to tip, twisting his wrist over the head in a way that makes the tips of his toes tingle. He shuffles forward and curls a hand around Aaron’s hip, taking a second to appreciate what exactly this is, what this means. This was something he’d never had with Chrissie, and something he imagines he never will do either. The fact that Aaron was willing to trust him, was willing to do this with him _again_ despite all the fights and all the rows, has Robert’s pulse racing and palms sweating.

He lines them up and begins to thrust slowly inside, Aaron’s moan caught between pleasure and pain as he carefully pushes forward. He grasps for Aaron’s other hip once he’s seated and begins to set a slow pace, edging his cock deeper and deeper, until he realises he can’t bottom out fully because of the bump of his stomach pressing against Aaron’s back. 

“I can’t – ” he begins to say, twitching his fingers against Aaron’s hips anxiously; but Aaron cuts him off with a groan and reaches back grab at Robert’s arse, pulling him as close as possible and sighing in pleasure as Robert’s next thrust obviously hits just right. 

He sets a quick pace after that, thighs burning and back protesting a little, but not wanting to stop for fear of Aaron’s toe curling moans quieting down to anything less. When Aaron’s legs begin to tremble, he reaches around and runs his fingers down the length of Aaron’s cock, rubbing teasingly at the base where he can feel the smallest hint of where a knot would be. Aaron jolts in response and Robert quickly thumbs at the head, circling slowly until Aaron gasps and comes hard, fucking into Robert’s fist.

Aaron slumps eventually further in towards the headboard, and Robert lets go of his cock to hold onto Aaron’s hip again. It only takes a few more thrusts and then Robert is coming himself, panting and whining as he presses his mouth to the back of Aaron’s neck, stomach heaving where it’s pressed tight against Aaron’s spine.

They stay like that, clinging to panels of wood and each other, until Robert feels Aaron shift his legs and push upwards. He lets go of his clasp on Aaron’s hipbones and carefully pulls out, collapsing down fully onto his knees as Aaron turns stiffly around, the muscles in his thighs still visibly twitching under the skin. Aaron smiles briefly at Robert and shifts to stand from the bed.

“Gonna get a towel,” he says in explanation, pushing himself up to his feet and slowly padding over to the door. Robert watches him, breath still heavy, as Aaron opens the door and checks the hallway, before ducking out and over to the bathroom opposite. 

He waits until he hears the tap switch on to shuffle back over to the left side of the bed, and pull open the still half closed bedside drawer. He immediately spots the photo when he peers inside and carefully pulls it out, a lump catching in his throat when his earlier suspicions are confirmed. 

The scan photo is battered a little at the edges but whole, no creases or tears where it might have been scrunched in anger or disgust. There are fingerprints though, pressed all over the surface, and Robert feels heat press in close behind his eyes, when he notices them more keenly just above where the baby’s head is detailed in light shades of grey. 

He traces his thumb in the imprints, unable to help himself, and imagines Aaron doing the same. Imagines Aaron lying in bed in the quiet of the night, tentatively taking out the scan from the depths of his drawer to sneak a look just before he falls asleep; the thought causes his breath to catch in his chest and Robert briefly presses his fingertips to the crest of his stomach, unbidden images of Aaron eventually smiling at the real thing, eyes bright and happy, flashing through his head without permission.

The sound of the tap turning off however breaks him from his reverie and he inhales shakily, dropping the scan back into the drawer and shoving it closed as he hears Aaron move back into the hallway. Aaron appears in the doorway not a second later, and his brow furrows when he catches sight of Robert still kneeling in the middle of the bed.

“You alright?” He asks, voice layered with concern as he closes the door gently. Robert nods and his lips tug into what he hopes is a reassuring smile.

“Yeah. Yeah, never better.”

*****

He’d been on edge the second he’d realised exactly what kind of bar Aaron had bought him to.

He hadn’t been able to stop himself from glancing around, shifting in his seat anxiously as if he could feel the eyes on him from all directions. He’d heard Aaron huff amused after around 10 minutes or so, and he’d snapped his head towards him with a furrowed brow, irritation and anger making him touchy and fractious. 

“Y’know _straight_ people can drink in here too right?” Aaron had mumbled with a roll of his eyes, taking a swig from his beer. Robert had tightened his hands around his own bottle and had sneered in response, his patience wearing thin with Aaron’s overly blasé attitude. 

“Yeah ‘cause they all look straight don’t they?!” He’d hissed, gesturing to the nearest group of guys; the smell of alpha and omega pheromones had wafted over from them and had made his nose wrinkle. Aaron had shaken his head with an unamused smile, and had placed his bottle of beer down on the table.

“You do know it’s not a problem anymore right? Nobody gives a shit?” Aaron had asked harshly, his eyes bright with indignation as he’d stared at Robert across the table. “You take a cock and a knot up your arse anyway, why d’ya even care if it’s on a bloke?”

Robert had slammed his bottle down and had leant over closer into Aaron’s space, his jawline twitching from the hard clench of his teeth.

“Yeah, because you’ve never had a problem with it aye?” He’d snapped under his breath, blood boiling hot and furious under his skin. “Or did you get those scars on your chest in an unfortunate yachting accident?”

Aaron had pressed his fists into the table then, and had lurched forward in his chair; Robert had held back on the triumphant smirk that had threatened at his mouth, the satisfaction that he’d hit one of Aaron’s buttons square on making him feel calmer and more in control than he’d felt in hours. 

“You know _nothin’_ about them!” Aaron had snarled, his eyes sharp as flint and teeth bared. Robert had felt a tug of lust at the sight deep in his abdomen, but had forced it away with a cruel smile. 

“No I don’t,” he’d said with false calmness as he’d leant back into Aaron’s space. “But I’m sure one of your little buddies over there’d wanna hear all about it. ‘Cause me? I could care less about a little bit of teenage angst.”

He’d shoved his chair back then hard and had stalked away. If he’d felt Aaron’s eyes glaring into his back the whole way to the door he hadn’t acknowledged it, and as soon as he’d stepped outside he’d felt his chest loosen substantially, his lungs sucking in deep mouthfuls of air as he’d done his best to steady his racing heart.

*****

The renovator arrives just after 10am on Friday.

She’s a young omega, in her early twenties, and obviously desperate for a child of her own from the way she stares longingly at Robert’s stomach. She brings with her binders of wallpaper and material samples, paint swatches and colour charts, and spreads the whole lot over the coffee table in the sitting room. Chrissie immediately takes a seat opposite her on the sofa, and Robert finds himself dragging his feet a little when Chrissie calls him over to join them.

“Did you have any thoughts in regards to a theme?” The renovator – Ellie, she had introduced herself as – asks brightly, pulling out a notepad and pen from her large satchel. Robert sees Chrissie nod from the corner of his eye and turns to look at her when she leans forward in her seat.

“I was thinking yellow. Yellow and cream. Something that would keep the room bright you know?”

Ellie nods with a smile and Robert frowns, trying to recall Chrissie ever mentioning anything about a nursery colour scheme even in passing.

“What’s wrong with blue?” He asks puzzled and Chrissie sighs exasperatedly, turning to look at Robert and away from the binders.

“And play into stereotypes? No, yellow is gender neutral and stimulating,” she says, glancing over at the renovator for back-up. “It’s a happy colour, whereas blue can be depressing.”

“So I don’t get a say then?” Robert asks sourly. Chrissie sits up fully at that, her mouth pursed and Robert sees Ellie shift a little in her seat.

“We can maybe look at incorporating both colours into the design if you’d wish?” She interjects with a smile. “Yellow and blue are both primary colours and so compliment each other well.”

Chrissie blinks and her lips twitch up in a brief smile, she glances at Robert and Robert notes the warmth in her eyes.

“They do, don’t they?” She speaks softly, smiling with a little more conviction as she gently touches the back of Robert’s hand and curls her fingers around to press against Robert’s palm. Robert flashes a smile and allows Chrissie to lace their fingers together and squeeze; he turns back then to look at Ellie as she moves to show them some samples, when his phone vibrates loudly in his jeans pocket.

Chrissie lets go with a sigh when Robert pulls his hand away to slide his phone out. He thumbs at the screen to unlock it and feels warmth flicker in his chest at the sight of Aaron’s name at the top of the message. 

_**From: Aaron --- Received: 10:16**  
You free at lunch? Thought we could get a drink somewhere_

Robert feels Chrissie’s eyes on the side of his head and he holds back on the grin he can feel threatening to burst out onto his face. He taps out his response quickly and pockets his phone, looking back at Chrissie and showing her an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, work,” he says and Chrissie nods, her demeanour no longer as relaxed as previously. Ellie clears her throat and picks up another binder, turning to a page full of curtain patterns.

“I was thinking maybe we could start with something like this?”

*****

Aaron is sat out on one of benches when Robert arrives at the pub, twiddling his thumbs absently as he stares out across the village. Robert walks up towards him and smiles the moment Aaron realises he’s there and straightens up from his slouch.

“We going in?” He asks, nodding towards the entrance. Aaron shakes his head and stands up, swinging his legs over the back of the bench.

“Thought we’d go somewhere else, somewhere without me mum watchin’ my every move.”

Robert smirks and slips his hands into his jeans pockets, turning towards Aaron when Aaron walks towards him with a soft smile on his face.

“Fine with me,” Robert says softly, swaying on his feet a little from side to side. “So what’s the plan?”

Aaron digs in his pocket for his keys and gestures to his car parked just off to the side of the pub with a nod. 

“Follow me.”

*****

The pub they end up at is small and cosy with its mismatched furniture and bare brick walls. It’s busy but not rammed, the beer garden outside half full with locals enjoying the last bit of sunshine before autumn fully kicks in, leaving the inside pleasantly quiet. Robert grabs a table with ease in front of the large fireplace and he watches Aaron steadily as he stands at the bar, clearly mulling over his choice of beer from the large selection of local ales on tap.

“Orange juice right?” Aaron asks when he walks over, drinks in hand. Robert nods and smiles when Aaron passes the glass over, their fingers brushing lightly in a way which sends a shiver down Robert’s spine.

“Yeah, perfect.”

Aaron’s lips twitch upwards and he takes a sip of his pint, licking the foam from his lips before placing the glass down and leaning his forearms on the table. Robert settles back in his seat and plays absently with a leftover beermat.

“So, was there somethin’ you wanted to talk about or…?” Robert trails off questioning, looking over at Aaron from under his lashes. Aaron shrugs nonchalant and taps his fingertips against the side of his glass.

“Just a drink, like you said.”

Robert smiles, leans forward and mirrors Aaron’s position, arms resting on the table top. “Fine with me. We gettin’ food too? Only I’m starving.”

“If you want,” Aaron says lightly, meeting Robert’s eyes as he takes a drink from his pint. Robert feels his stomach flip unexpectedly. “Burgers supposed to be alright here.” 

“I’ll take your word for it then.”

Robert gets up and heads to the bar to order them both burgers and chips, the barmaid serving giving him a knowing look as she glances between him, Aaron and shirt covered bump at his front. He expects to feel a rush of panic – the idea of someone finding out usually a source of terror – but instead he feels nothing, no fear, no dread, just nothing. The lack of feeling causes a sense of unease to thrum under his skin, and Robert pays the barmaid quickly before hurrying back to the table. 

Their food arrives not long after and they eat in a comfortable silence, Aaron wolfing down his burger as Robert wrinkles his nose with a wry smile. Robert eats half of his own meal, picking at the perfectly cooked chips towards the end, and Aaron raises an eyebrow, drinking the last of his pint as he pushes his plate away.

“Thought you said you was starvin’?” He asks curiously, slouching back in his chair. Robert pushes his own plate away and follows suit, resting his palms instinctively over his belly. 

“Yeah well, getting a bit cramped in here nowadays,” he says, rubbing his hand a little as he laughs. “Lucky if I can even finish half a burger most of the time.”

He catches Aaron’s tiny smile, uncontrolled and reflexive, before he quashes it and looks away biting his lip. Robert feels his smile fall slightly but shakes it off, shifting in his chair and clearing his throat. 

“You catch the match on Wednesday?” He asks mildly, reaching for his half empty glass of orange juice; Aaron’s eyes immediately brighten, and Robert’s grin widens all over again at the sight of the newly animated look on his face.

“Yeah, I did,” he says, brow raised challengingly. “Liverpool was robbed!”

*****

Him offering to invest £10k into whatever business scheme Adam and Aaron had cooked up had been, in reality, probably the furthest thing from altruistic as possible.

There had been questions from Lawrence and Chrissie – raised eyebrows when he’d mentioned investing in 2 ex-cons who in all actuality, didn’t really have a solid business plan to sell to him – and irritating snooping from Chas, who still hadn’t learnt when to keep her nose out of something that was none of her business in the 10 years since he’d last had the pleasure of her interfering. All of them had presented him with valid points, but ultimately none of it had managed to sway him otherwise; not even his own rational mind had been able to, when it’d also joined in to tell him that he was throwing away a huge sum of cash, purely because he couldn’t get enough of the taste of Aaron on his lips. 

And so, determination set, he’d dropped the 10 grand in Adam’s account despite the last minute change of plan, and had strolled into the café, grin set on his face as he’d seen Adam, Aaron and Vic all sat about on the sofas. 

Adam had been ecstatic and overly appreciative, crowing loudly about getting to work straight away as Vic had fawned at him. Robert had sipped at his stolen coffee and nodded along politely with a smile fixed on his mouth, all the while watching Aaron fidget in his chair from the corner of his eye.

Eventually Aaron had stood up abruptly, his face set in a stony expression, and Robert had furrowed his brow concerned as he’d watched Aaron leave with nothing more than a dismissive mutter and a brief backward glance.

He’d headed back to Home Farm shortly after, only able to take Vic and Adam’s touchy-feely cooing for so long, and had been sat at his desk with his laptop open when his phone had vibrated hard in his jeans pocket. 

_**From: A --- Received: 11:22**  
Need to talk to you._

He’d raised an eyebrow at the text but had replied quickly, and had sat messing around at his desk until his phone had buzzed again signalling Aaron’s arrival. 

He’d ducked out of the front door quietly and had seen Aaron immediately pacing back and forth across the gravel, hoodie sleeves pulled over his hands as he’d rubbed at his face anxiously. Robert had had to hold back a smile and he’d cleared his throat to grab Aaron’s attention.

“We can’t take the money,” Aaron had said quickly, wrapping his arms around himself as he’d bitten nervously at his lip. “We don’t know nothin’ about scrap, I don’t even know why Adam suggested it.”

Robert had felt the smile pulling at his mouth and he’d been unable to keep it back as Aaron had spoken increasingly flustered, trying to explain all the reasons why being in business together would be a bad idea. He’d taken pity eventually, stopping Aaron before he could carry on, and had sucked at his lower lip amused and half enamoured.

“You know if you carry on,” he’d said, burying his hands in his pockets as he’d watched Aaron continue to worry at his mouth. “You’ll make me think I fell for a quitter.”

He’d seen Aaron blink surprised, and he had felt a jolt of fear surge under his skin at the realisation of what he’d said. He’d reigned the feeling back though, and had smiled at Aaron’s still dumbfounded face as he’d stepped away, eager to put back some distance between them to shut the strange sentiment down.

“Good meeting,” he’d said softly as he’d opened the front door to Home Farm once more; and as he’d closed it gently behind him, he’d caught sight of the timid smile on Aaron’s face, delicate and half caught in the corner of his mouth.

*****

Lawrence slaps a brochure down on the meeting table as he sits down and glances between them triumphantly.

“Leeds Agricultural Convention,” he says in explanation, looking at Aaron and very briefly in Robert’s direction. “I believe this will be of some use to you.”

Robert can tell that Aaron is dubious – can read it in the line of his forehead in a way that Lawrence clearly can’t – but he all the same nods his head as if he agrees with the statement wholeheartedly. 

“I have a few contacts.” Lawrence continues oblivious, folding his hands together as he leans forward. “They will be able to point you in the right direction of the crusher you’re after.”

Aaron’s brow raises in realisation and Robert does his best to hold back on the smirk that threatens at his mouth.

“Right. Yeah,” Aaron says, nodding his head with a little more conviction, shifting forward in his seat. “And they’ll be at this convention thing?”

“They will indeed.” Lawrence grins. “It’ll be a good experience for you, expose you to a whole new world of opportunities for networking.”

Aaron sucks his lower lip between his teeth and folds his arms across his chest. He looks at Lawrence cautiously, as if debating with himself between being locked in a room full of ‘suited arsehole alphas’, as he’d once described the typical business type to Robert as being, and the overall benefit a much needed crusher would give to his company.

“When, er, when is it exactly?” He eventually asks, and Robert feels a thrum of pride flood though him.

“Next weekend.” Lawrence answers, smile still firmly in place. “The convention is spread over both the Saturday and Sunday so would require an overnight stay. Luckily however the convention itself is based out of a large hotel, so accommodation wouldn’t be difficult to arrange. After all what is the point of having an expense account if you can’t make use of it?!”

Robert can almost feel the wince Aaron tries to hold back on as Lawrence chuckles to himself. He can see the unease in Aaron’s posture at both Lawrence’s flippancy in regards to the use of company expenses, and the prospect of being left alone at sea, in a large room of people with exactly the same attitudes as Lawrence. Robert clears his throat and leans forward towards them both, drawing Lawrence’s focus away from Aaron and back onto him.

“Y’know, it wouldn’t hurt for us to have some representation there either,” he says, raising a brow pointedly as Lawrence considers him. “It’d be good for us – and for Aaron, he needs someone there to show him who’s worth the effort and who’s not.”

Lawrence laughs once dismissively and shakes his head. 

“Robert, whenever you come back from one of these things you spend the next 12 hours lamenting how useless you found the whole thing!” 

Robert tilts his head to the side and nods once acknowledging, resting his forearms on the table. “True, they can be very long, dull days, with a lot of timewasters, _but_ we got the McDonald account from the last one and we both know how profitable that’s been. Even more reason for me to show Aaron the ropes, keep him away from the bullshitters.”

Robert looks at Aaron then and notes his pointedly indifferent expression, the only thing giving away his eagerness at the prospect of a weekend away the continued biting of his lip, as he tries to hold back on a smile. Lawrence sighs loudly and gestures flippantly with his hands.

“Fine go, but if I’m forking out for hotel rooms I expect a big comeback!”

“Who’s going where?” Chrissie’s voice suddenly asks as the door to the office closes. Robert turns around to looks at his wife who glances up very briefly from the letter clutched in her hands. 

“I’m sending Robert with Aaron to the convention in Leeds.” Lawrence answers; Chrissie nods and folds up the letter, flashing a weak pretence of a smile in Aaron’s direction, before looking at Robert with an unknown expression. Robert frowns.

“Well, have fun boys,” she says with false lightness, walking across the room to grab a file from the cabinet. “From what I remember it was more drinking than networking, but then again you won’t be able to do much of that this year will you Robert?”

Robert’s brow furrows further as Chrissie turns around and looks at him with wide eyes. She clasps the file tighter in her hands and gestures with it towards the door.

“Now if you excuse me gentlemen I have an appointment to get to.” She smiles and quickly walks from the room, heels clacking loudly on the floor. Robert watches her go until Lawrence moves beside him, reaching for a stack of folders and pulling them closer.

“Now, onto point 2!”

*****

Robert is the only one there when Ellie next arrives, arms loaded with binders once again as she shuffles through the door.

“Chrissie’s out today,” he says gesturing her through to the front room and standing to the side as she lays down the items in her arms. “So there’s just me.”

Ellie smiles and straightens up, clasping her hands together. “That’s fine, I was thinking we might take a look at the room today, see how best we can arrange the furniture.”

Robert leads her up the stairs and down to the end of the hallway, past theirs and Lachlan’s bedrooms to the room picked out as the nursery. Robert personally felt that the spare room opposite their room was a better choice, his instincts wanting the baby to be as close as possible, but Chrissie had pointed out that the lighting and space was much better in the other room and so he had relented. He opens the door quietly and Ellie hums approvingly as she steps inside.

“This is lovely.” She muses brightly, admiring the large bay window and the view of the grounds down below. “Perfect for a nursery.”

She flips open her notepad and begins scribbling down a few words and doodles, taking out her tape measure and measuring out random areas and features of the room. Robert watches her silently, letting her work until she flicks her tape away and moves back towards him.

“I’ve got a few things to be working on,” she says, stepping beside him and casting her eyes over the room. “I think if we place the crib underneath the window as the focus of the room and work around that, then we’ll have a good base.”

He nods and Ellie closes her notebook, tucking it under her arm as he shows her out and back down to the living room. He offers her a drink which she politely declines and sits down on one of the sofas, flipping open a binder. 

“How far along are you?” She asks conversationally as he takes a seat opposite her, leaning back into the cushions. He lays his arm along the armrest and lazily strokes his thumb back and forth across the soft material.

“Just coming up to 24 weeks,” he says and Ellie smiles, pausing on a particular sample and looking up at him. 

“So just about starting to feel like your balance is off all the time?”

Robert snorts a laugh and flashes her a wry smile. “Yeah, knocking stuff over all over the place right now.”

“Well all I can say is make the most of being able to see your feet, you won’t have that luxury for much longer.” She grins knowingly. He crosses one leg over the other and relaxes further into his seat.

“You got kids of your own?” He asks curiously, re-evaluating his previous assumption that she was childless but wanting. Ellie’s face falls a little but she still keeps the smile on her face, despite it no longer reaching her eyes.

“Me and my husband got pregnant a couple of years ago, but she was stillborn.”

Robert shifts awkwardly and clears his throat, folding his arms over his chest as he glances over at her carefully. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she says, waving a hand and straightening a little in her seat. “You weren't to know. It’s just, it's something that happens you know?”

He nods weakly and can’t help but thinking back to himself being panic stricken and terrified, as he’d stumbled through those hospital doors with Victoria clutching at his arm. He tries to lock the thoughts back away, push them to the back of his mind, but it becomes hard when faced with someone who had experienced what had been his worst fear.

“I had a scare, early on.” He blurts out before he can stop himself, swallowing thickly as Ellie looks at him with sympathy. “Scared the shit out of me. I don’t know what I’d’ve done if… well y’know.”

“I was lucky,” she says in return, flashing Robert a thin, brief smile. “I had my husband and he was – well he was my rock. He looked out for me, I mean it could’ve broken us but because of him it didn’t.” 

She sits back a little at that, adjusting the position of the binder in her lap and clearing her throat, before looking back up and sending a truer smile over in his direction. 

“But I’m sure you understand.” She continues, tilting her head and folding her hands together. “Chrissie seems like she’d be like that too, I imagine she was straight there by your side, right?”

He blinks and sucks at his lower lip, memories of Aaron sat all night by his bedside, curled up half asleep in the uncomfortable plastic chair, popping up unbidden in his head. He thinks of Aaron’s concerned face as they sat side by side in the hospital room after Cain and the warehouse, the way Aaron’s eyes had warmed when he’d stared at the screen and wiped discreetly at his cheeks; the thoughts make his stomach flip and he shuffles apprehensively as if expecting Ellie to be able to read his mind.

“Yeah. Yeah.” He eventually chokes out, with as much conviction as he can muster. “Yeah she was. She’s been great.”

Ellie grins widely at that and nods her head. She then leans over the coffee table, and begins to talk about the various curtain samples she’d selected from her book. Robert feels his shoulders relax and he exhales slowly, uncrossing his legs and leaning forward to give Ellie his undivided attention. 

He nods his head when required, and tries devote his thoughts to the multiple shades of cream now thrust before him on a colour chart. Rather that than wasting any time on the whirlwind of feelings that Ellie had, unbeknownst to her, whipped up rapidly inside of him.

*****

After the mess in the church he’d thought Aaron would have washed his hands of him for good, so he’d almost fallen over himself to follow him out into the carpark when Aaron had pushed through the door, and gestured for him to come along too.

“You know you talk a lot of sense,” he’d said as they’d walked around the side of the pub, side by side and elbows nudging each other every now and again. “If you’d have been there when I’d called the jeweller, then I might not be stood out here in the cold now.”

Aaron had inclined his head in agreement and had pulled a semi-smug face; Robert had bitten at the corner of his lip at his expressed, and had scanned his eyes down over Aaron’s body, taking in the way his suit had clung to his hips and how his shirt had stretched across his chest. 

“So…” Aaron had trailed off when they stopped a small distance away from the pub, hands both buried in their respective trouser pockets as they’d looked at one another hesitantly. “Are you going home?”

Robert had felt the smile pulling at his mouth, and had felt himself naturally shifting closer into Aaron’s swaying hips. He’d run his tongue over his lips once, mouth feeling a little dry as Aaron had peered at him questioningly, wide eyed and soft.

“No,” he’d said, and Aaron had grinned. As he’d headed towards the pub back door he’d brushed up close with intent against Robert’s side, and Robert had followed without second thought, warmth fluttering in is belly at the thought of Aaron’s body pressed up tight against him once more.

*****

Chrissie is quiet when Robert comes down for breakfast, already sat at the island with a half eaten bowl of fruit in front of her and a coffee to her side. He walks up behind her and places a kiss to the crown of her head, before making his way over to the cafetiere to pour his own drink.

“You’re up early,” he says cheerily, grabbing the milk from the fridge as he glances over at her from over his shoulder. Chrissie hums and he stirs in 2 teaspoons of sugar to his coffee.

“I had a call scheduled at 8:30.” She answers, twisting her spoon around in her fingers as she stares down into the bowl. Robert picks up his mug and joins her at the island, sliding onto the seat beside her and blowing on his coffee before taking a sip. He shrugs out of his suit jacket, slipping it carefully over the back of his chair, when his phone vibrates loudly in his pocket. 

“Anyone important?” Chrissie asks idly as he slides the phone out; Robert laughs once, shaking his head.

“No it’s just this stupid app Vic downloaded,” he says, flashing the screen at Chrissie and then taking a look at it properly. ‘At 24 weeks your baby is now the size of an ear of corn!’ is the text that glows up at him, followed by a list of signs and symptoms, and baby development milestones. He shakes his head with a smile and locks the screen, dropping his phone down on the counter top. 

“24 weeks ago, that would’ve been April wouldn’t it?” Chrissie inquires thoughtfully, resting her spoon against the side of her bowl. Robert glances at her quickly and picks up his coffee, cupping it in his hands.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He answers with a shrug, shifting in his seat. Chrissie reaches for her own mug and mirrors his position, her gaze continuing to flicker back to him every now and again, which he steadily tries to ignore. 

Instead he sips at his coffee, absently scanning his eyes around the room until the clock comes into his line of sight, and he sits up. 

“Shit it’s 10 past 9! Why didn’t you say!”

Chrissie leans away as he abruptly pushes his stool back, standing up and draining the last dregs of his drink quickly. She shrugs a shoulder and turns to look at him fully as he straightens himself out.

“I wasn’t sure what time you needed to be at the hotel,” she says flatly. “Anyway, from what I remember the main convention doesn’t even open until midday.”

Robert walks over to the sink and drops his cup inside with a clunk, he stalks back across the kitchen and grabs his suit jacket from back of his stool, quickly shrugging it on.

“It doesn’t but I still need to get there and check in. You know what the traffic’s like getting through Leeds.”

Chrissie purses her lips but nods, Robert bends forward and kisses her briefly on the corner of her mouth. She responds after a short moment, but pulls back willingly when he does too.

“I’ll see you tomorrow evening.” He smiles, straightening out his collar as he walks to the door. Chrissie nods and smiles back weakly as she waves her fingers in goodbye.

He takes one last look at her, takes in the baby pink jumper that hugs her curves and the soft cut of her hair framing her face, before ducking out the room and grabbing his overnight bag from the floor. He checks his pocket for his car keys, pulling them out as he grasps the front door handle, and can’t stop the wide grin that spreads over his face as he thinks about the weekend ahead.

*****

Aaron is dressed head to toe in deep blue and Robert can’t keep his eyes off him.

He drags his eyes down Aaron’s figure appreciatively as they head inside the hotel lobby, gaze lingering on the way his suit trousers hug his arse almost perfectly just below the hem of his jacket. Aaron raises an eyebrow and Robert shrugs once as they make their way to the desk.

“Not my fault if you wear something that tight,” he says innocently, leaning up against the counter. Aaron huffs and rolls his eyes, smiling at the receptionist as she makes her way over. 

The receptionist gives them key cards for 2 rooms; Robert pockets his knowing that they’ll only be using the one. They take the lift up to the 4th floor and Aaron bites his lip when they reach his room, toying with the card nervously.

“We er, we gonna – y’know, be sharin’ mine or…?” He trails off, nodding towards the door. Robert smirks and takes the key card from his hand, swiping it through the lock.

“What do you think?” He answers cheekily, pushing the door open to walk inside. 

He drops his bag down by the bed and feels hands slip around his hips. He turns into Aaron’s arms and cups his jaw, fingertips skittering over the freshy trimmed stubble, to drag him down into a heavy kiss.

*****

He’d been itching to get Aaron alone again since they’d gotten back from the hotel in Leeds. The desire for his body and his mouth had pulsed under his skin relentless and persistent, and he’d known after a week or so that he’d have to do something about it.

And so he’d trailed the internet when he was supposed to be working on the contract for the latest shoot, and had stumbled across the Bardon Park Hotel, it’s website proudly proclaiming it to be the best hotel in the county.

He’d called them up that same afternoon, and had charmed the woman on the phone into making some movements to get him one of the better, fully booked, suites. He’d put in a few requests when they’d mentioned champagne and roses, his immediate thoughts going to Aaron’s repulsed face if he was to stumble across either of those laid out in the room expectantly. Instead he’d requested a 6 pack of chilled beer and a PS4 to be connected and ready to be used, and had grinned when the receptionist had confirmed the booking and had informed him to have a pleasant stay. 

He’d spent the rest of the day in a state of distraction, dick half hard in his jeans as he’d thought about Aaron buttoned up tight in a form fitted suit, tie pressed up snug against his throat. Chrissie had eyed him suspiciously from across the office, and asked if he’d been coming down with something, concern flickering across her face.

“Er no.” He’d choked out at her question, wiggling in his seat as the head of his cock had rubbed deliciously against the back of his zip. “No I’m fine, just got a bit of, er, backache. Think I should look into getting a new chair.”

She’d hummed sympathetically, her lips pursed in a sad pout, and he’d smiled at her reassuringly when she’d cooed at him. 

“I’ll speak to dad about getting the whole office re-kitted,” she’d said, pushing away from her desk and heading towards the stairs. Her fingers had traced the back of his neck as she’d passed and he’d had to hold back a groan, the phantom memory of Aaron’s thumb tracing circles up his nape, sending a shiver of pleasure down his spine.

*****

The convention is as dull as Robert remembers and they very quickly end up propping up the hotel bar, ties loosened and jackets removed. Aaron swigs deeply at his bottle of beer, throat working as he swallows. Robert bites his lip as he runs his index finger around the rim of his glass of water.

“You weren’t jokin’ when you said it was dull were ya?” Aaron exhales heavily when he lowers his beer, rubbing a hand over his face as a smile twitches at his lips. Robert smirks and leans his hip further into the bar, eyeing Aaron from under his lashes.

“No I weren’t,” he says with a laugh and Aaron smiles. Robert shifts in closer and raises his brows suggestively. “Look we’ve seen enough, why don’t we just head on up and finish what we started earlier?”

Aaron sucks at his lower lip and shrugs, affecting an air of indifference that Robert knows to be false. “Can do.”

Robert grins and straightens up, grabbing his jacket from the bar and nodding towards the lobby.

“Come on then.” He winks, walking backwards out of the bar. Aaron shakes his head but shrugs on his own jacket and picks up his beer, following Robert out and over to the lifts. 

The ride up is tense with expectation, Robert pressed full length against Aaron’s side as they stand in the crammed lift. Robert feels a slow caress down the back of his hand and he glances down, catching sight of Aaron’s thumb stroking over his skin lightly. He shivers despite the heat radiating from the bodies around him, and Aaron’s mouth twitches up notably pleased.

When they reach the door for the room though, there is none of the earlier desperation to get their hands on another. Instead Robert drops his jacket down on the chair as he steps inside, and Aaron places his half empty beer down on a side table. Robert turns then to face Aaron and scans his eyes down over him from head to toe. 

“Come here,” he says softly, shifting on his feet as Aaron straightens up and moves away from the table. Aaron blinks slowly but complies, warm expression on his face; Robert wraps his palms around Aaron’s waist when he’s within reaching distance and pulls, Aaron naturally resting his hands on Robert’s upper arms in response. 

“Have I told you, just how good you look in that suit?” Robert murmurs, smiling when Aaron’s cheeks flush a little and he rolls his eyes. Robert tugs him closer still and nuzzles his nose in alongside Aaron’s; Aaron exhales audible and leans in to press their lips together carefully.

The kiss is slow and deliberate, lips sliding against lips as Robert clings to Aaron tight, the material of his jacket bunching up in his fists. Aaron flicks his tongue teasingly and Robert moans low, opening his mouth to allow Aaron to kiss him harder, Aaron’s hands sliding up to cup his jaw. 

Aaron steers them gently towards the bed, and Robert slips his hands up to push the jacket down over Aaron’s shoulders. Aaron lets go of Robert’s face and shrugs out of his sleeves, allowing the jacket to slump in a puddle to the floor as Robert heels off his shoes and kicks them away unceremoniously. 

They strip one another of their ties, and begin unbuttoning each other’s shirts without even thinking of ending the kiss; Robert’s fingers clumsy as they skitter down Aaron’s chest. Aaron pulls back eventually to slip his shirt off and remove his shoes, before reaching for Robert’s hips and guiding him down onto the bed.

Robert’s unbuttoned shirt slips open as he lays back against the pillows, spreading his legs as Aaron settles between them. Aaron props himself up on his hands as he climbs on top, and glances down, wide eyes drawn to the sizable bump that now rises between them.

“I – I don’t…” Aaron starts, shifting his weight on his arms as he glances back up at Robert anxiously, uncertainty written all over his face. Robert smiles small and careful, and slowly twists a little onto his side.

“Like this is alright, yeah?” He says softly, tugging at Aaron’s arm to get him to lie down too. Aaron moves carefully but follows, laying down with his head beside Robert’s on the pillow. 

Robert shuffles closer and slides his palm along Aaron’s jaw, pulling him in close to press a wet kiss to his mouth, Aaron makes a soft sound and tentatively curls an arm over Robert’s waist under his shirt. His hand skates down the centre of Robert’s back, fingertips pressing in with purpose, and come to rest just above the waistband of Robert’s trousers; Robert moans and curls a fist into the back of Aaron’s hair, urging him closer still.

Aaron kisses and kisses him until Robert is panting and desperate. Eventually he breaks away from Aaron’s relentless lips and rolls away a little to shrug out of his shirt gracelessly. As he moves back in he sees Aaron’s gaze run down his body, and Robert feels a sudden flash of uncharacteristic self-consciousness at the new softness he knows Aaron must see; he attempts to shut the creeping thoughts down by immediately attaching his mouth to Aaron’s throat and sucking hard. 

He reaches for the zip of Aaron’s trousers, sharply pulling it down and shoving the material awkwardly over Aaron’s hips. Aaron moves obligingly, his own hands joining Robert’s to work his trousers down his legs until he can kick them off. Robert runs his hand up the flank of Aaron’s thigh when Aaron settles again, the dark coarse hair rough under his palm, until he reaches the juncture of leg and hip. Aaron’s cock nudges at the back of his hand, thick and hot even through the cotton of his boxers, and he skims his fingers over the length of him to rub teasingly at the head.

“Robert.” Aaron gasps, arching up into Robert’s touch and seeking his mouth out once more. Robert hums into the kiss and slips his thumbs into the waistband of Aaron’s boxers, sending them the same way as his trousers over the side of the bed.

Aaron pants against Robert’s mouth, eyelids heavy as Robert takes him in hand, slowly working him until Aaron reaches for Robert’s waistband and begins to strip him with trembling fingers. Robert pauses, Aaron’s dick throbbing in his fist, and allows Aaron to slip both his trousers and underwear down his hips to his thighs. He lets go reluctantly when Aaron impatiently pushes at his hip and rolls onto his back. Aaron twists to kneel on the bed, and Robert stares up at him, drinking in his mussed-up hair and the flush on his chest, the way his cock juts up against his stomach red and wet. 

“Oh God.” Robert whispers, a little in awe as Aaron throws Robert’s clothes onto the floor and crawls over him, turning onto his side to lay down next to him. Robert complies when Aaron pulls at his hip, and rolls back onto his side.

Aaron’s palm slides around and down to the back of his thigh and tugs. Robert wraps his hands over Aaron’s shoulders, and obliges when Aaron pulls his thigh over his hip, rolling into the space between his legs and grinding them together. Robert moans, pressing in closer and pushing their foreheads against one another, as Aaron’s fingers dip down between his thighs to rub against his entrance.

“You’re so wet,” Aaron says breathlessly, curling his fingertips with purpose. Robert nods and rocks back into Aaron’s touch, tightening his grip on Aaron’s shoulders.

“Hormones.” he gasps, dragging his bottom lip over Aaron’s mouth teasingly before placing a kiss there. Aaron flexes his forearm and rubs his fingers harder, pressing against Robert’s prostate until he moans loudly and scrabbles his hands at the nape of Aaron’s neck.

“Shit! Shit, Aaron please, just - _fuck_ come _on_!”

Aaron shushes him with a smile and thrusts his fingers one final time, before slipping them out and wrapping Robert’s leg higher over his hip. Robert pants heavily, and tries not to rock back impatiently when Aaron rubs the head of his cock teasingly behind his balls. He holds still, legs tense and shaking, and waits for Aaron to adjust himself and push forward, the tip of his dick large and hot as it presses against him.

Aaron’s mouth falls open as he thrusts inside and Robert groans, tightening his hold on the back of Aaron’s neck. He rolls his forehead against Aaron’s and lightly brushes their mouths together, as Aaron begins to fuck him in earnest. 

“Harder.” Robert breathes, curling his fingers through the back of Aaron’s sweat damp hair. “Come on, harder.”

Aaron complies and Robert sighs in pleasure, pressing in as close as possible until the bump of his belly won’t let him any further. Aaron takes his mouth in a fierce kiss as Robert slides his hand down to clutch at Aaron’s back; Robert moans into his mouth, grinding his own cock against the flat plane of Aaron’s abdomen as his thrust hits his spot straight on.

“Fuck Robert.” Aaron keens, his eyes wide and overwhelmed as he kneads his palm into the meat of Robert’s arse cheek. Robert nods breathless, and feels an unexpected lump well in his throat as he runs his eyes over Aaron’s flushed face; takes in the bright blue of his eyes and the black of his dilated pupils, the red wet of his kiss bitten mouth, and the curls beginning to break free and spill over his forehead. His stomach swoops hard, and as Aaron’s cock brushes once again at his prostate, he cries out unabashed.

“Aaron, oh God!” He sobs, voice wrecked and thin as Aaron pants against his mouth. His cock head drags deliciously along the vee of Aaron’s hips and he feels himself begin to come, heat beginning to build between his legs as Aaron urges him closer, their noses bumping when Aaron’s free hand pulls at his hair.

“Robert, fuck I…” Aaron breaks off, swallowing hard. Robert nods in understanding and clumsily grabs for Aaron’s stubbled jaw.

“I love you,” he says brokenly, and exhales shakily when Aaron’s eyes begin to fill. “ _Fuck_ Aaron, I love _you_ – ”

Aaron cuts him off with a hard kiss and Robert stiffens, his orgasm pulsing through him intensely as Aaron fucks into him erratic and relentless. His heart pounds in his chest, and warmth spreads down his legs as he feels slick dampen his inner thighs and his cock slips against Aaron’s belly.

He whimpers, overstimulated and boneless when he comes back into himself, limbs shivering and uncoordinated. He rides it out as Aaron thrusts a few final times before Robert feels him come too, Aaron’s blunt hipbones digging into the bottom of his arse as he grinds up into him. Aaron shakes and his chest heaves, and Robert pets fumblingly at his hair.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Aaron says after a moment, voice gravelly and slurred, Robert huffs a laugh and scrubs roughly through the back of Aaron’s hair. 

“Can say that again.” He murmurs, wincing when Aaron lowers his leg from his hip and slowly pulls out, his muscles achy and protesting as the high of his orgasm begins to dissipate. 

Robert stomach sinks and he prepares himself for Aaron to move away, close himself off as he had the last few times they had done this; but instead Aaron wraps an arm around his waist and nuzzles their noses together, his eyes slipping closed with a sigh.

Robert blinks and bites at his lip tentatively to stop the grin breaking out on his face. He curls in closer, sliding his arm over Aaron’s back, and allows himself to settle against Aaron’s chest, his own eyelids closing as he falls into a comforting sleep.

*****

The barn had been cold and the blanket had been scratchy, but Aaron had been breathing heavily beside him, sweat cooling on their skin, and in that moment he hadn’t been able to think of any other way he’d rather have spent Boxing Day.

“Was good, yeah?” He’d asked, still panting as he’d turned his head to the side and had run his gaze over Aaron’s still flushed and heaving chest. Aaron had flicked his eyes over towards him and had rolled his eyes fondly, shrugging his shoulder.

“Was alright,” he’d said nonchalantly. Robert had raised an eyebrow and pushed himself up on his elbows, nudging Aaron in the ribs and making him squirm. 

“Don’t act like I didn’t just make you come your brains out.” He’d smirked; Aaron had huffed sarcastically and Robert had nudged him again, trailing his fingers over Aaron’s hips and feeling warmth flood his belly at the sound of Aaron’s half cut-off laugh. 

They’d fallen into each other again eventually, a tangle of arms and legs and heat, that’d had him moaning wantonly into Aaron’s mouth as Aaron had nudged between his thighs once more. He’d gasped as Aaron’s cock had brushed up against his own, and had rocked his hips along with Aaron’s as Aaron had thrust hard against the crease of his inner thigh. 

It’d been like a warm wave of heat when he’d come, a satisfying wash of pleasure that had stretched down to the tips of his toes. He’d felt Aaron mouth at his neck and had had a brief flash of panic at the thought of him leaving a visible mark, before he'd calmed and allowed himself to sink into the enjoyable sensation of having Aaron's lips pressed in close against his skin. 

“I have to go.” He’d murmured after, pushing down the blanket around his waist and grabbing for his discarded jumper. He’d heard Aaron stir beside him and had felt a flash of regret when he’d seen Aaron begin to pull his own clothes back, his stretches of soft pale skin being covered by dark pieces of clothing once more. 

“I’ll see you later then,” he’d said as he’d headed towards the barn door. Aaron had nodded, scratchy blanket bundled up in his arms as he’d stood amongst the hay bales, and Robert had swallowed back the pang of longing he’d felt to reach out for him again, to pull him close and lick into his mouth with desperation.

Instead he’d turned away, conscious of the time and Chrissie noticing him missing, and had closed the barn door quietly behind him, beginning the slow trudge through the muddy field back towards his abandoned car.

*****

Robert stirs in the early evening, the sun just beginning to set outside the open curtain, bathing the room in warm, yellow light. Aaron is already awake, propped up against the pillows and scrolling through his phone, charging cable draped across his bare chest as it snakes over the bed into the wall. Robert rubs at his eyes and rolls to his back, running his gaze over Aaron’s sleep rumpled form.

“Hey,” he says tentatively, small smile tugging at his lips. Aaron turns his head and smiles back, lowering his phone down from his face.

“Alright?”

Robert grins and settles his head further into his pillow, adjusting the duvet over himself. “Yeah, yeah I’m good.”

Aaron nods and twists at the waist to drop his phone down onto the bedside table, before turning back to look down at Robert, the covers slipping down to his hips. He bends his left leg and rests his forearm across the top, looking down at Robert with a soft expression on his face.

“So er, what’s the plan?” Aaron asks carefully, playing with a loose hanging from the duvet cover. Robert shifts up a little in the bed and rubs a hand over his waist.

“Well I don’t know about you,” he says with a smirk, looking up at Aaron from under his lashes. “But I don’t mind stayin’ in. Order some room service… eat it in bed.”

Aaron bites his lip and nods; Robert grins – a grin which falls a little when Aaron moves to stand from the bed.

“Gonna go clean up,” Aaron says, winking when he catches the look on Robert’s face. He moves over to his bag and Robert sits up, staring appreciatively as he bends over to rummage through it, putting his bare arse on display. 

“Chuck us my phone charger will ya?” Robert asks cheekily as he reaches over the side of the bed for his jacket. Aaron flips him the finger but does as asked, stepping over to Robert’s bag and grabbing the charger from the top of his clothes, tossing it onto the bed. Robert nods his thanks but frowns, rooting through its pockets but not finding his phone in any of them.

“What’s up?” Aaron questions, eyebrow raised as he bundles his shower gel and fresh clothes in his arms. Robert sighs and chucks his jacket back onto the floor as he stands, wincing a little at the ache in his thighs and in between his legs.

“It’s not in there,” he mutters, walking around the bed and bending down awkwardly to grab his bag and chuck it on the bed, rummaging through without care. He feels Aaron come to stand by his side and instinctively turns a little towards him.

“Where’d you last have it?” Aaron asks. Robert pauses and he exhales heavily, shoulders slumping as he remembers being sat at the kitchen island, coffee in one hand and phone in the other.

“At home. Shit.”

“Well, least you know no-one’s nicked it yeah?” Aaron replies, nudging him gently. Robert glances at him over his shoulder and Aaron wiggles an eyebrow.

“I’m gonna have a shower,” Aaron says pointedly, nodding in the direction of the en-suite. “Just y’know, in case you were wonderin’.”

Robert smirks and bites his lip. He watches as Aaron walks backwards towards the bathroom, before turning in the doorway and disappearing from sight. The sound of water splashing against tiles echoes out into the room and Robert follows it; any thoughts other than Aaron’s naked, wet body, suddenly losing all importance in comparison.

*****

Chrissie had taken her pills at 9am every morning without fail.

She’d swallowed them back with half a glass of orange juice and grimace, and Robert had watched her across the kitchen island, coffee mug clutched between his palms. 

“How long did the consultant say you’d need to take them for?” He’d asked as she’d placed her glass in the sink. She’d turned towards him and had leant back against the counter, arms folding around her waist.

“I have a 6 monthly appointment with the consultant in August, where they’ve said they will run the tests again and evaluate the results, so until then.” She’d answered wearily, her jaw tight and eyes flat. “After that they have said they will explore further treatments if they haven’t seen any improvement.”

He had pushed his stool away from the island at her broken expression, and had stood, abandoning his breakfast to curl his hands around her waist. She’d sighed at his touch, and he’d seen her lower lip tremble as she’d wrapped her hands around his biceps.

“It’ll work,” he’d said softly, rubbing his palms reassuringly into her sides as she’d pressed herself in closer to his chest. “They wouldn’t have given you the tablets if they didn’t think they would.”

“But it could take _years_ Robert.” She’d whispered, half choked with unshed tears. “The consultant said this wasn’t something they could fix in a matter of weeks.”

He’d shushed her then and had pressed a kiss to the side of her head, her hair soft against his cheek as she’d leant into the touch.

“We just need to be positive,” he’d said soothingly as she’d pulled back to wipe at her eyes, her manicured fingers swiping gently at her lashes. “And you never know it might work quicker than anyone expects. You hear these stories about couples who can’t conceive and then they suddenly do when they least expect it. It could happen to us.”

She’d nodded and flashed him a weak smile, which he’d returned as he’d stroked his hand through the back of her hair. She’d straightened herself up then, and had relaxed her grip on his arms. Robert had let her go as she’d pulled away again, her shoulders pushed back and determined, even as she’d continued to rub at her eyes.

“You’re right,” she’d said, sniffing quietly and peering up at him under her long lashes. “We need to be positive and it’ll happen for us, I know it will.”

He’d smiled at her again and she’d bit her lip, turning away and picking up the box of pills from the counter. He’d seen her run her thumb carefully over the box for a second, before she’d sighed and opened the cupboard door, placing them back inside on the bottom shelf.

If he’d caught her looking sadly at the cupboard door throughout the day he hadn’t said anything, but every morning she’d flashed him some semblance of a smile as she’d popped the tablets from the blisters, and he’d allowed her her pretence. Even when he’d known it was tearing her up inside.

*****

When Robert next wakes it’s dark in the room, the only light a soft glow from the streetlight just a little away to the right from the window.

He blinks blearily and glances at the clock on his side of the bed, the red LED’s showing the time as 03:27. He sighs and rubs tiredly at his face before scanning his eyes around the room, taking in the still scattered clothes and damp towels littering the floor, the tray of half eaten food left abandoned on a side table. He smiles and flexes his thighs, the muscles protesting after an afternoon of having them wrapped tight around Aaron’s hips.

He rolls over in the bed trying to get comfortable, his back aching for a whole other reason, and settles as best as he can into the mattress, rubbing at his belly as he feels the baby move disgruntled. He yawns and curls his hands underneath the pillow beneath his head, and takes a moment to drink in Aaron’s sleeping face through lidded eyes.

He looks younger in sleep, the fine lines around his eyes smoothed out completely, the furrow in his brow no longer there underneath the soft mess of curls. Robert inches closer, and Aaron stirs a little at the movement of the mattress.

For a moment Robert thinks Aaron might wake – the wrinkle in his nose making Robert still completely – but Aaron only exhales heavily, and shifts his arm to loop over Robert’s waist, tugging him closer and pressing his face into his hair. Robert smiles and curls into him, sliding his hand carefully over Aaron’s ribs to wrap around his back and splay his fingertips against his skin. 

He feels warmth spread through his chest when he feels Aaron breathe him in, nose nestling into the juncture of his throat, lips barely caressing his collarbone. He shivers and slides his foot along the side of Aaron’s calf, and allows his eyes to close as Aaron’s soft breaths lull him back into slumber.

*****

His heat had been late.

The consultant had warned that they might be a bit all over the place after coming of the suppressants. She’d even warned he might not get one at all for months while his body worked to filter the drug from his system, so it had been a little bit of a shock in all honesty that he’d had one the first month after coming of the pill.

Which is why for a few days he’d ignored the missing heat, and carried on as normal.

Chrissie hadn’t mentioned it. Either because she hadn’t realised, or like him she’d assumed it was to do with hormones. Either way she had continued going about her business, taking her morning hormone tablets behind a false smile of hope, and hadn’t made any reference to a missing heat; so it’d been easy for him to ignore it. At least that is, until it hadn’t been so simple any more.

He’d started to feel nauseous, nothing extreme but just a little queasy in the morning when he’d wake up and again just before he’d go to bed. And if he’d felt tired, well he’d been working hard – add in the strain between him and Chrissie and it’d been no surprise he’d felt more exhausted than normal. 

But then one day he’d sat down to rest his eyes for 5 minutes at his desk, and woke up 2 hours later to Chrissie shaking his shoulder, peering down at him with worried eyes. The fact that he’d then slept for 10 hours that night and, _still_ needed another nap the following day, didn’t go unnoticed by him either.

So he’d bought a test, and had locked himself away in the en suite where he'd known he wouldn’t be disturbed. 

He’d only taken a test once in his life, around 7 years before when he’d missed a pill and drunkenly fucked his flatmate; so he’d read the instruction leaflet front and back and had made sure he'd done it right. Afterwards he’d laid the test down on the counter and waited, chewing at his lower lip and trying not to watch the timer tick down on his phone.

When his phone had buzzed he’d hesitantly looked down at the strip of plastic, box clutched in his hand as he’d scanned the back for a picture of the results. But in the end it’d been obvious, the happy face had given it away from the off.

 _Pregnant._ The thought of it had made him feel sick to his stomach; but not as sick it’d turned out as he’d felt the following morning, when Chrissie had pulled down her box of hormones and had flashed him her routine hopeful smile. As she’d swallowed back her glass of orange juice he’d swallowed back a mouthful of bile, and he had waved off her caring hands when she’d seen his pale face.

“I’m fine,” he’d said shakily, ducking away from her touch guiltily and nodding his head. “Just got a bit of a headache.”

And Chrissie had accepted it without question, had sent him back up to bed with a cup of overly sweet tea and a box of paracetamol for company. 

As he’d lay there in their bed his stomach had roiled, both from the smell of the tea and the heavy press of contrition that weighed pointedly in his belly. When Chrissie had checked on him later he’d pretended to be asleep, and he’d sighed in relief when she’d turned away from the bed without a word. 

The door had closed quietly when she'd left, and Robert had wondered in a fit of pique just how long it’d be before she’d be slamming it in anger and betrayal; had wondered just how soon it would be before she’d realise that he’d been lying to her about everything all along.

*****

The sound of the shower is what rouses him from his sleep late the following morning.

He grumbles under his breath as he rolls onto his back, quickly noticing the cool sheets beside him, and scratches absently at his chest as he listens to Aaron finish up in the shower. 

Eventually Aaron appears, towel slung low about his hips and water droplets trailing down his stomach in thin rivulets. Robert swallows and licks his lips, shifting his legs under the covers as he feels his cock give a twitch of interest.

“What d’you think you’re doing?” He asks, half teasing as Aaron grabs for a pair of boxers laid out on the chest of drawers opposite the bed. Aaron halts immediately and turns towards him, face surprised and brow raised to Robert’s amusement, when he sees Robert awake and watching him.

“Gettin’ dressed? It’s nearly half 11.” Aaron shrugs composing himself, slipping on his boxers and dropping his towel to the floor. Robert shakes his head and bites his lip to hold back a smile.

“Come here.” He murmurs softly, indicating to the sadly unoccupied spot beside him in the bed. Aaron rolls his eyes long suffering, but eventually complies, crawling onto the bed and flopping onto his back as he rests against the pillows. He widens his eyes at Robert pointedly and Robert raises his brow in reply, leaning down until his mouth hovers above Aaron’s lips.

“That’s much better.” He smirks; he hears Aaron huff a half laugh and he kisses the sound away, cupping Aaron’s shower warm jaw and tilting his head. Aaron makes a soft noise and kisses back, wrapping his arm around his waist, rubbing at his spine in soft circles.

They kiss for what seems like hours, Robert just enjoying the slide of lips against lips, the scrape of Aaron’s stubble against his chin. He keeps his hold on Aaron’s jaw – unwilling to let him pull away from the kiss – until he feels a jolt in his belly and he jumps, mouth abruptly breaking away from Aaron’s as he drops a hand down to press at his stomach carefully. 

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asks worriedly, and Robert feels him shift up beside him in the bed. He shakes his head in reply and pushes his fingertips into the skin below his belly button, eyes widening when he feels the kick under his fingers as well as from inside as usual.

“Gimme your hand,” he says quickly, reaching for Aaron before he can even open his mouth to respond. He grips Aaron’s hand tight and presses it to the spot he’d felt the movement, and laughs breathlessly when the baby kicks hard against their palms, a little flurry of wriggles following straight after.

“Oh my God, Aaron can you – ”

Aaron yanks his hand away as if burnt and Robert’s smile falls; his heart sinks when Aaron moves away and swings his legs over the side of the bed, turning his back to Robert as he drops his head into his hands. Robert sits forward and hesitates, wanting to reach out and pull him back, but knowing from the tension in Aaron’s shoulders that such an action would not be a wise decision.

“Aaron – ” 

“You can’t keep doin’ this to me.” Aaron immediately cuts him off, voice thick and pained as he shakes his head. “You can’t Robert, it’s not fair.”

Robert swallows and shuffles his legs nervously under the sheets. Aaron rubs at his face and turns his head a little to the side, his profile now visible over his shoulder. 

“You’re havin’ _my baby_ Robert,” he says, words broken and sad. “And I’ve gotta pretend you’re not and it’s _hard_ , it’s so fuckin’ _hard_ – ” 

“Aaron.” Robert starts again, inching closer. Aaron scrubs a hand over his eyes and curls into himself a little more. “Aaron we need to talk about this. Properly – ”

A loud buzzing cuts through the room and Robert turns his head sharply towards the sound, seeing Aaron’s phone lit up and vibrating on the bedside table. He sees Aaron move and for a moment thinks that he’ll answer the call, but instead Aaron checks the number and cuts the call off, tossing his phone back down and inhaling heavily as he rubs at his nose. 

“What’s there to talk about?” He asks roughly. “Chrissie wants a kid, like you said. And she’d be good for it, a good mum.”

“And you’d be a good dad,” Robert says earnestly, moving in closer still when Aaron shakes his head. “You would Aaron. And – and he’ll need you, _I’ll_ need you. We can make it work!”

“How?” Aaron replies incredulously, his eyes red when he looks at Robert over his shoulder. “How d’you plan on workin’ that one out aye?”

Robert adjusts the covers over his lap and rests his arms over his knees, leaning in a little as he tries to meet Aaron’s gaze desperately. 

“We – we could go out. In the week, weekends – whenever! I can take him out somewhere and you can come with us!” He says, forcing an encouraging smile onto his face as Aaron sniffs and continues to shake his head. Aaron straightens up and turns his body, bringing his leg up onto the mattress; Robert sees the tears in his eyes and feels his heart sink.

“And what about Christmas?” Aaron asks, choked up and rubbing at his nose as a tear finally spills over and down his cheek. “What about his birthday? I get a couple of hours whenever you can sneak him out, and then the rest of the time I get to watch my _son_ being brought up by someone else? I won’t even get to see him when he’s _born_ Robert!”

Robert clenches his jaw and looks away, unable to bear the sheer look of upset in Aaron’s eyes. He hears Aaron try to compose himself, breathing shakily and sniffing loudly before he clears his throat.

“We should just stay away from each other,” he says resigned, and Robert feels a lump begin to well in his own throat. “It’s the only way I can handle this.”

“I – I can’t.” Robert forces out, voice pained and quiet as he thinks about never being able to be with Aaron again. Never being able to make him smile, having to pretend they are nothing more than acquaintances – business partners, when every part of him longs for Aaron’s touch and Aaron’s laugh; when he wants more than anything he quickly realises, to see Aaron holding their baby with happiness on his face. 

“Aaron I can’t – ”

The phone begins to vibrate loudly again and Robert looks up when he hears Aaron move, this time stabbing his thumb at the screen and answering the call.

“What Adam?” He asks sharply, roughly wiping at his eyes and leaning forward over his knees. Robert hears Adam’s muffled voice but no specific words, instead he watches Aaron’s face intently and furrows his brow when Aaron’s face drops.

“Wha – what do you mean? … Yeah, yeah. He’s with me,” Aaron says tentatively, glancing anxiously back over towards Robert from the corner of his eye before looking away again. “Shit, we’ll be back alright? … I don’t know Adam! Look I’m – I’m sorry alright? I’m sorry. I never meant – … Okay, yeah I’ll see you later.”

He hangs up, and Robert feels uneasy when Aaron immediately buries his head in his hands, phone still clutched tight in his grasp. He shuffles his legs under the sheets again and runs his hands nervously over the cotton covering his thighs, clearing his throat as he licks at his lower lip.

“Was that Adam?” He asks dumbly and Aaron heavily exhales, nodding his head before sitting up and meeting Robert’s eyes. 

“Yeah, it was,” he says seriously, more serious than expected following a conversation with Adam. Robert nods his head once and feels his pulse rate kick up in the hollow of his jaw, the expression on Aaron’s face causing apprehension to thrum under his skin. He swallows again and his voice rasps uncertainly when he speaks.

“What did he want?” 

Aaron sucks his lip between his teeth and sighs, dropping the phone down onto the bed and rubbing his hand once again across his face. Robert holds his breath and Aaron bites at his thumbnail, leaning his forearm on his bare thighs as if bracing himself.

“He – he said it’s Chrissie… she knows.”

It takes Robert a moment to truly register the words, to fully absorb the meaning of the syllables on Aaron’s lips; but when he does there’s only word, one response he can possibly give to fully encompass the terror that he feels settle in his stomach like lead. 

“ _Fuck._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides* Don't hurt me?
> 
> Like I said in my original note at the start of this fic, when I started writing this I had no intention of ever posting it anywhere, so when I came up with the idea originally and outlined the story in my head, I stopped at the affair reveal just because that's where I was happy with ending it. Obviously though, this has created a massive cliffhanger. (I'm an awful person I know, to do this to you all.)
> 
> However! After I decided to post this I knew that I couldn't leave it as it is, and so I started work on a second part. \o/ I'm currently working on it now and I have the full outline so I know exactly what is going to happen, but I'm not 100% sure when it will be up, I'm hopeful that it will be done in the next couple of months but don't hold me to that. It follows straight on from the end of this fic, and hopefully I've done more justice to the affair fallout then they did on the show; I always found that a little weak in regards to people's reactions. 
> 
> I had a few people ask about The Lodge through the course of this fic, hopefully the lack of gun waving and kidnapping hasn't left you all too disappointed. But I knew that as I wasn't going to include the grain incident, that there would be no viable story path to it without it being ridiculously OTT and plotty. Also I just really wanted Chrissie to figure it all out for herself.
> 
> So yeah, I hope you've all enjoyed my little fic and I hope to see you all around for the next part. Thank you to all of you for sticking with this and slogging it out with me, you're all absolutely wonderful! *kisses*


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